Come Friday, September 20, 2019
The Brothers of PXL Invite You to Join Us
For Our 6024 Fall Weekend Clampout at
Indian Hill Ranch, Tehachapi, California!
Well Brothers, it's that time again, and this time it's Indian Hill Ranch Campground in Tehachapi for a great semi-civilized enclave. Think about it. Indian Hill even has flush potties for you to contemplate the mysterious wonders of Clamperdom while seated upon the throne. Aside from that it has plenty of space for your tent or RV, plenty of flat ground, plenty of camaraderie, and more.
But you have to register now or you'll be wondering how you could possibly have passed up such a stellar event, because if you're not on our "A" List expect to be turned away at the door. Maybe we don't have movie stars, but we only have just enough victuals to feed the hungry, and don't even get us started about having to clothe the naked because when it comes to Clampers that's too ugly a thing to even think about.
So please join us starting Friday at 2 p.m., the weekend of September 20-22, 2019, when the Brothers of Peter Lebeck will celebrate our 58th Annual Fall Doin's in the foothills of the Tehachapi Mountains. This will be our Humbug Al "The Quack" Price's 6th official event for the year, and we think he has outdone himself this time. Indian Hill Campground is about 15 minutes from Highway 58, has better protection from the wind than our last two Clampsites in Tehachapi, and has easy RV access. You'll want to bring shade but you'll also find these things you won't find in the desert chapters. At Peter Lebeck we call them "trees." All-in-all it's a beautiful place to unwind and finish up another successful year of Clamping and history!
On Saturday morning we'll be dedicating our second plaque of 2019, when we commemorate the ancient Kawaiisu/Nuwa Indian Village site in Tehachapi. We're doing this with the blessings of the tribal elders and we encourage all to attend as we pay our respects.
Tehachapi itself has a great history. Discovery of the pass is sometimes attributed to the work of John C. Frémont and Kit Carson during Frémont's 2nd Expedition in 1844, but the Tehachapi Pass was already part of the 700 mile long "Old Spanish Trail" between Santa Fe and Los Angeles. That said, this was hardly some kind of well-marked thorough fare, and a group like the Fremont Company would have welcomed any help they could get, and that included help from the Native Americans they encountered along the way. Or to put it another way, the most successful 19th Century "pathfinders" weren't shy about asking for directions. Getting to where they had to go could be a matter of life or death, and often was.
The Frémont Expedition was no different. It had already gambled by attempting a crossing of the Sierra Nevada from the east with the aim of reaching Sutter's Fort before winter set in, but the trip nearly ended in disaster. Frémont and company had to hunker down in the snow to survive, expected to have to eat their dead horses for sustenance, and they barely made it off of the Sierras alive.
After licking their wounds and restocking their supplies, Frémont's little band of fourty men moved south through the San Joaquín Valley, hugging the eastern Sierra until they reached the gap between the Sierras and the Tehachapi Mountains, where they took another gamble by turning east and started up the canyon. While they could have trekked south through the Tejon Pass towards L.A., following the Spanish Trail, these guys were looking for a way around the Sierras with the goal of returning to the Great Basin. That meant traveling through the Tehachapi Pass to reach the Mojave Desert.
In his diary Frémont documented the presence of the Indian village he encountered along the way, and it's likely that these people helped point the expedition out of the pass and beyond. The locals must have thought these white guys were crazy. And maybe they were.
Following the Mexican War, U.S. Secretary of War Jefferson Davis (yes, that Jefferson Davis), was authorized by Congress to commission a series of surveys to explore construction of a transcontinental railroad. In 1853, the Fifth Railroad Survey was assigned to Army Lieutenant R.S Williamson, who was asked to map options for a Pacific route between San Diego and Seattle.
Working off of Frémont's diaries and Carson's testimony before Congress, Williamson started on the Mojave side hoping to retrace Frémont's route back into the San Joaquín Valley. That included looking for the Native American Village that Cason described as lying beside the principal creek that flowed through the pass -- a place he said the native people called, "Tah-ee-chay-pah."
Today the route confirmed by Williamson through the Tehachapi Pass supports billions of dollars' worth of trade that flows annually by rail between Asia, our Pacific ports and the interior of the United States. If you have never witnessed the trains that constantly pass through Tehachapi, and the 1874 engineering marvel called "The Loop," this would be a great opportunity to see it. And if you are wondering about Williamson, he left the San Joaquín Valley south through the Tejon Pass on his way to San Diego, survived his time as a military engineer during the Civil War and retired as a fully commissioned major in the U.S. Army.
So doesn't this just want to make you sign-up for our Fall Doin's? We'd really welcome your company. If you've ever been to one of our Doin's then you know us Lebeckians as a bunch of friendly guys of different backgrounds and persuasions. "From Brain Surgeons to Drain Surgeons," as our Clampatriarch Emeritus, Timbo Gillespie likes to say. We make a point of making visitors feel welcome, and we aren't so big that you'll ever feel lost at one of our Doin's. In fact, about half of our members have come to us from other chapters because they feel at home with us.
Since this is our first time at Indian Hill, we won't be open to early arrivals, but we're just a few minutes from town so if you want to grab Friday lunch or something for Friday dinner, you'll have plenty of options. The gates open at 2 p.m. on Friday, and the weekend officially kicks off with Our Humbug's Meet 'n' Greet at 5:03 on Friday afternoon, at the only Tittie Bar in Clamperdom, where everyone can get acquainted, tell stories and swap lies. We'll even let your PBC join us so long as he behaves and, for gosh sakes, doesn't touch red!
Our Hangman Andrew "Grimmy" Grim has a great crew taking care of business this Doin's, and Grimmy himself has a great sense of humor. If you've ever wanted to have a friend taken in, now is the time, and PXL is the place to pop his cherry. At PXL we don't do dirty, but we do make sure that candidates experience our camaraderie first hand so that they know why becoming a Clamper is one of the best things that could ever happen to a man. Then we give them lots of history, send them to bed, and expect them up before 5:30 on Saturday morning to cook you breakfast. In fact our traditional Graybeards' Potluck Breakfast is one of the best parts of our Doin's because all those old fart PXL Graybeard "X's" have to get up too.
Your PBC's ordeal will include the usual shenanigans, culminating on Saturday afternoon after we put them to shame before the assembled Brethren during our Graybeard's Examination, and then subject them to one of the finest HOCOs in all of Clamperdom. By Saturday evening we guarantee that your X-PBC will know on which side of his quarter panel he'll need to spread the Bondo. But as to that, we'll let you let him figure what the heck that means.
So bring us your poor, your blind, your huddled excuses for male humanity and we'll turn them into real men. Their colors will be brighter, their whites will be whiter, and they may not even smell quite as bad as when they came in, but remember, we only want quality, non-bitchy PBCs. So if your "victim" isn't someone you'd want to spend the weekend hanging out with, don't bother, because we wouldn't want to either.
That sed, we'll make you a deal because we want to keep our chapter vibrant with new, quality brethren that will make PXL their home base forever. For that reason we've deeply discounted the tariff for both you and your PBC if you pay by the registration deadline. Enlightenment for your friend can be had for as little as $75, while the cost for you is $65. We're keeping the cost down because we expect him to put money towards a decent bribe for our board and we expect you to buy him his first event shirt once he's fully taken in.
For the rest of you Redshirts, here's a few reminders. We expect the weather to be quite pleasant but evenings and mornings in the mountains can be chilly, so make sure to bring a change of warn clothing. We love the glow of those evening fires but due to ongoing fire condition burn barrels are not allowed this trip, but those propane heaters are OK; as are friendly dogs; just be prepared to clean up after them and crate them if necessary.
At PXL we feed everybody starting with Saturday Morning's Potluck right on through a continental breakfast on Sunday morning. But when you sign-up you'll want to make sure you designate a Saturday night dinner entrée because your rub includes your choice of Ribeye steak or barbequed chicken, complete with all the fixings. Saturday night also includes the traditional Clamper raffle with lots of fun prizes. Clampers are always telling us at the end of one of our Doin's that they've seen the white elephant. So if you've have one in your closet, feel free to bring him along.
And don't forget, if you happen to have some extra dust weighing you down, we do have ways to pick your poke. Our esteemed Hawker, Kevn "No Eye" Horton, has made up a new shirt just for this Doin's, but if you want one, you're going to have to preorder on-line now, then pick it up at the Doin's from our store. While there, check out the other fun stuff for sale, "No Eye," and his Tackles, Kodi and "Man Handles," will take satisfactory care of you whether you ordered a shirt or not. You (and your wallet) will come away "enlightened."
Lastly, but just in case you didn't know already, PXL is a "Bring Your Own Beverage" kinda chapter, though you may want to think of us as the Brothers of "stone soup," because at PXL no one ever seems to lack for something to wet their whistle. Just bring enough for yourself and a little extra to share. It most definitely adds to the camaraderie. Our libations center has sodas and snacks. That's all -- except for the stuff that mysteriously appears when we're not looking.
So make sure you send in your registration, on line or by snail mail, but do it by the September 13th deadline. We'll even extend the deadline through that weekend if you sign-up on line. What's most import to us is that we get an accurate count so as not to waste food.
So long as you're signed-up we'll accept your rub as late as the day of the Doin's, but please do yourself a favor and send in your rub by the deadline date or you'll have to pay the $15 gate tax. Sorry, walk-ins will be turned away at the door. See you there!
To read about Clamping with Peter Lebeck in Kern County, just read on.
ABOUT CLAMPING WITH PETER LEBECK
Kern County is a big place and it covers all kinds of terrain: from the driest portions of the Mojave Desert, to the snowiest pine forests of the Sierra Nevada; from the oak woodlands of Walker Basin to the still wild grasslands of the San Joaquin Valley. Then of course there is Fort Tejon, Pine Mountain, the Kern River Valley, the Tehachapis, and…you get the drift. Kern County IS a BIG and interesting place.
And needless to say, we do try to get around. So if you are looking for something different, always make sure to look us up when you are planning your Clamping Calendar. If you've Clamped the desert, try the mountains. If you've Clamped the mountains, try the desert. But always make an effort check with us because we may be going someplace you'd really, really enjoy, and we do get around.
PXL Clampouts are not so large that you'll ever feel lost, and not so small that you'll ever feel like you're crashing someone's private party. Brothers visiting from other chapters are always made to feel welcome, and we especially encourage you to drop by if you live in Kern County or the adjoining areas of southern and central California.
At Peter Lebeck we plan two, full-weekend Clampouts every year, one in the spring and the other in the fall, and we favor overnight outings because we believe it is the surest way to make sure that each of our Brothers makes it home safely. At Peter Lebeck we also believe that Clamping is as much about plaquing as it is about camping and camaraderie, so we try to mount at least one erection every year and we try to Clamp near by. So won't you join us for the adventure? We'll make sure you get an extra helping of Timbo's beans.