The Greybeards of PXL Invite You to Join
Our 55th Noble Grand Humbug Luis "Vaquero" Bouza
For Our Fall Doin's in Havilah, California at
September 23-25, 2016 (6021 C.E.)
The Brothers of your favorite Piss Poor Bear Wrassler, Peter Lebeck, are getting ready for our 55th Annual Fall Doin's, and you're invited! So head on up to the Bald Eagle Ranch for a weekend of major decompression in the mountains of Havilah. But sign-up soon or you're likely to miss out! Check out the links below for everything you'll need to know, then convince yourself that this is one you really, really can't afford to miss. We may even save you a few bucks in the process. Your brothers will be waiting.--MGM
- Register by Mail or Over the Internet
- Weekend Event Schedule
- PBC Requirements and Handbook
- Rules for the Weekend
- Directions to Bald Eagle Ranch
- About Havilah and Clampin' at the Bald Eagle
- A Personal Invitation from Our Humbug
- Heck, Just Give Me the Flyer Already!
- Whom to Contact for More Information
Or click on the red arrow to continue.
Preregister and Save $10!
Brother, one of the best weekends to be had in all of Clamperdom can be yours for as little as $55, plus $75 for your PBC, but your dust must be in our hands one week ahead of our Fall Clampout to get this special rate. You can use Paypal as late as September 19th, but snail mail applications must be postmarked no later than Friday, September 17th. After that it's $10 more, and we won't care if you're Sid, an XNGH or Joe Szot's dog made you pee on your Procs -- No exceptions!
Both your dust and an application form are required to secure our special rate. To register fill out and return our Infallible Fillable Flyer or use our handy electronic form below. We'll accept your dust by mail or Paypal. And remeber, regardless of how you sign-up, if your jackass gets sick, just call or email us at Registration@ECV1866.org before the start of the weekend, and our GDR will make sure you're comped for next time.
ECV Brothers who are on Active Military Duty who preregister by the prepay deadline get in free. Just mention it on your registration form and make sure to bring along with your military ID and a copy of your current orders.
All Chapter Hawkers are welcome to ply their goods. But be prepared to do some trading.
Sponsors should include a waiver form for each of their PBCs. Redshirts should include one for themselves if we don't already have one on file from a prior doin's. These waivers are an ECV wide policy imposed by Grand Council to help keep E Clampus Vitus in existence. Click here to read the waiver.
Are you a PBC paying separately from your Sponsor? No Problem! Just make sure to include your sponsor's name on the memo portion of your check or in the Paypal comment box. Postmark or Paypal by the deadline to get the early discount.
You can mail your application and rub to our Recorder/Assistant Gold Dust Receiver at: Peter Lebeck #1866, c/o Myrl "Doc" Wallace, GNR/Asst. GDR, 3292 Ferndale DR, Santa Maria, CA 93455, You can also Email your application to Registration@ECV1866.org, and use our Paypal Portal by clicking --><-- here.
BALD EAGLE RANCH SCHEDULE OF EVENTS PAY ATTENTION THIS AIN'T BIRDSEED!
Thurs, Sept 22: Stay Home. Sorry! No early arrivals this trip. Email us at Registration@ecv1866.org if you need a hotel for Thursday night.
Fri, Sept 23: Relax and enjoy life in the country.
9:00 am: Gates open. Later in the morning make new friends. Come join "Petey's Flying Circus," and help set-up camp.
4:58 pm: Early check-in.
7:00 pm: Local "Road Kill" will be served for your farting pleasure. The rest is up to you.
8:12 pm: PBCs & Sponsors must present themselves to the NGH, VNGH and Hangman for survival instruction.
8:47 pm: Join the Meet and Greet around the cookshack for Luis's BYOT Margaritafest.
PBCs should get a good SOBER night's sleep. Saturday is going to be a loooong day.
Sat, Sept 24: A great day of Clamping with the Brothers...
4:59 am: PBCs report to the cookshack for KP. Sponsors will enforce compliance and NO EYE OPENERS! From here on in, PBCs who drink anything alcoholic prior to the Hall of Comparative Ovations will be denied Entry!
7:20 am: Potluck breakfast - We provide the EGGS! You bring sausage, ham, potatoes, tortillas, salsa, bacon, etc. Our XNGH cook team will prepare a meal guaranteed to cleanse your colon.
8:11 am: PBC & sponsor check-in with our Hangman at the cookshack. PBCs will be clean and sober!
9:06 am: Redshirt check-in at the bar (No Grub-stub, no meals). No Kiddin'.
Noonish: Lunch at the cookshack -- A proper PXL lunch to reline your colon. PBCs will cook, clean and eat first. But get NO BEER! Oh, the humanity!
2:33 pm: PBC interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
4:44 pm: Necrology Ceremony (if needed) & Hall of Comparative Ovations.
6:01 pm: Dinner- steak à la Airdale, with Timbo style Clamper Beans & other vittles for your enjoyment.
7:15 pm: Fireside fun - Raffles, stories, jokes,male bonding, pass the bottle and the usual B.S.
Sun, Sept 25: The PXL version of "The Walking Dead."
7:00 am: A continental breakfast at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids for those who survived.
8:09 am: Camp clean-up. Everybody helps, from XSNGH to XPBC!
10:06 am: Drive back to the widders and orphans. But do it SOBER!!
The Brothers are reminded that all PBCs are guests of PXL, and PBC harassment is not allowed at any time by anyone other than our Hangman and his Vigilantes. PBCs are invited to meet and party with the Brothers on Friday, but from the time of their arrival PBCs will remain under the exclusive control and protection of our Hangman. No Exceptions!
Click on the red arrow to continue.
"OUR HANGMAN SEZ!" Special PBC Requirements
ALL SPONSORS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FOLLOWING:
All PBC's must check in with our Grand Imperturbable Hangman Howard "Meatrub" Zerbe upon entering the Clampsite. On Friday night at 8:12, all PBCs and sponsors in camp must report to the cookshack for survival instructions from the Hangman and inspection by our Humbug and his Vice. Sorry, no Retreads this trip.
Any infirmities that might affect your PBC's ability to do moderately physical tasks MUST be disclosed to the Hangman. Vertigo, bad knees, bad ticker, claustrophobia, diabetes, all that stuff counts. No Exceptions! Failure to disclose could result in sheepskin denial and suspension of the PBC's sponsor.
Our initiation is not an endurance test! If you have a friend who wants to join PXL but has health issues we will figure out a way to get him through the initiation, but a failure to disclose a PBC's health problems endangers your PBC, it endangers us, and is not appreciated by anyone except those that want ECV® to go bye-bye.
ALL PBCs must have a bribe and a five minute historical presentation for our Board of Inquiry. Also PBCs may not wear RED until after completing their sacred ordeal. Finally, membership is open only to men 21 or older with good attitudes. These rules provide for the safety and fair treatment of your friend. As his sponsor it is your responsibility to make sure that he complies. Our initiation is a mind f**k. Do as you're told and no one gets hurt.
ALL PBCs ARE ADVISED:
That from the time of their arrival all PBCs are guests of the Brothers of Peter Lebeck, ECV and will be under the protection and control of our Hangman & his Vigilantes.
As is our custom at PXL, PBCs may fraternize with the Brethren on Friday but must show good attitude and submit to the directions of the Hangman from the time of their arrival, including being of service when so instructed by our Hangman.
All PBCs in Camp on Saturday Morning must report to the Cookshack at 4:59 a.m. for Kitchen Duty on pain of foregoing initiation. Last call for PBCs that did not join us on Friday is 8:11 a.m. Saturday morning. PBCs must be knowledgeable of all educational materials provided to them, especially the Handbook, be prepared to stand and deliver before our Board of Inquiry, and remain sober throughout the initiation. No Exceptions!
PXL adheres to all Grand Council Rules which will be strictly enforced. It will be a clean, but memorable initiation as befits our Honorable Order.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
These are the Rules--So Read 'em!
RULES FOR THE WEEKEND- read & follow them: We are the guests of XNGH Wes Kutzner and his Widder Janet. Make sure your diggin's are clean when you leave. Due to recent conflagrations, OPEN FIRES AND BURN BARRELS WILL NOT BE ALLOWED. Propane heaters should be OK. Sorry for the inconvenience. The area is bone dry! Dogs are also OK, so long as they get along with the farm dogs, so be prepared to crate if necessary.
DO BRING: Water, buckets, shade, raffle/auction prizes, stuff for Saturday's potluck breakfast (but not eggs), libations for yourselves and your Brothers, good PBCs, ideas for PBC games, trash bags. Please bring personal hygiene items for the ladies and school supplies for the kids at the women's shelter in Bakersfield.
DON'T BRING: Dope, firearms, explosives (including females), firewood, eggs (we'll just end up throwing them back at you, so if you bring eggs you'd better duck), weaponry, anyone under 21, pissy PBCs or any of the usual No-Nos. Violation means expulsion without refund. So, don't risk it. This applies to EVERYONE!
ALL PBCs must have a bribe for the board and an historical presentation, as well as their dust. PBCs will submit to the authority of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite and remain under his control through the Hall of Comparative Ovations. There will be absolutely NO PBC Harassment on Friday Night, and NO RETREADS this time out!
NOTE: This chapter respect and adheres to the rules of the Board of Proctors of E Clampus Vitus®, Inc.
REMEMBER - The PXL bar has snacks, sodas, iced tea and water. Want more? Bring it yourself.
Click on the red arrow to get directions.
So You Want Directions?
From Bakersfield: Take SR 178 east through Kern River Canyon to the Bodfish/Havilah Exit. Turn right at the bottom of the off-ramp and continue until you T-intersect with Lake Isabella Boulevard/Caliente-Bodfish Road, then turn right again. Follow Caliente-Bodfish Road for 6.7 miles. The turn-off to Bald Eagle will be on the right.
From Mojave or L.A.: Take SR 58 to the Caliente exit. Go north through Caliente for 5.2 until you reach a fork in the Road. The left fork is the Caliente-Bodfish Road. Follow it up the mountain and down into Walker Basin for 12.4 miles where you'll come to a T-intersection. Turn left to continue on Caliente-Bodfish Road for 9.7 miles. The turn-off to Bald Eagle will be on the left.
From the Mojave Desert: Take SR 178 west for 45 miles over Walker Pass to the Wofford Heights exit. Turn left over the bridge to Lake Isabella Highway, then turn right and proceed for 8 miles. Lake Isabella Highway becomes Caliente Bodfish RD. The turn-off to Bald Eagle will be on the right.
GPS Coordinates for Bald Eagle turnout: 35°32'38.2"N 118°30'33.2"W
Click on the Map's Links to Go Large and to Google Directions
For more information contact:
Al "The Quack" Price, NGH (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Mark "Pokey" Crawford, VNGH (661) 993-7907 or Crawford562@Yahoo.com
Myrl "Doc" Wallace, Clampatriarch (805) 937-0156 or BigWallace@comcast.net
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org