The Greybeards of PXL Invite You to Join
Our 60th Noble Grand Humbug,
"Ptomaine Timbo" Gillespie
For Our 2022 Fall Doin's at...
Thurs Sept 29 - Sun Oct 2 (6027 CE)
It's been a few years since we were last to Bald Eagle Ranch. I like to think of it as our happy spot. It's up in the mountains, with little to get in the way of a most enjoyable Clamp. We have room for tents, RVs and lots of shenanigans, and we're away from prying civilian eyes -- something that is harder and harder to achieve now a days.
So won't you join us for PXL's 60th Fall Doin's? We're even opening up on Thursday to give everybody extra time to decompress. Don't think of it as a four day weekend, think of it as a "Peter Lebeck Weekend."
The Humbug is promising some extra special stuff this trip, including a Yucca-Off, and an historical tour of the nearby town of Havilah, which was the original Kern County seat going back to the county's incorporation in 1866. You won't be disappointed, and neither will your PBC.
Just click on the links below to get yourself started towards a real good time, but just make sure to sign-up by September 23rd because this is a "pre-paid only" event and we don't allow retreads.
- Sign up electronically or by mail by September 23rd!
- Order Your Event Shirt by September 7th!
- Use Zelle to Fork Over Your Dust
- Weekend Event Schedule
- PBCs and Sponsor Instructions, and PBC Handbook
- Download the Flyer
- A Personal Invitation from Our Humbug
- About Clamping at Bald Eagle Ranch
- Rules for the Weekend
- Directions to Bald Eagle Ranch
- Whom to Contact for More Information
Or click on the red arrow to continue.
YOU MUST PRE-REGISTER FOR THIS EVENT!
Brother, come on up to the mountains for an event where you won't get lost in the crowd. Just sign-up for PXL's fall four-day Doin's at Bald Eagle Ranch. It starts Thursday, September 29, and It'll cost you a measly $65, plus $75 for your PBC, but you must register by September 23, 2022. No walk-ins, no exceptions! You'll also need to get your dust in by that date or expect to pay an extra $15 per person. So sign-up, then pay up, or miss out!
Just use the link below to download our fillable flyer, or better yet, use our electronic sign-up form. Then snail mail or Zelle us your rub. Either way you'll be reserving a spot at one of the best Clampouts in all of Clamperdom.
Hey! Is your PBC paying separately from his Sponsor? No Problem! Just make sure he includes your name on the memo portion of his check or by attaching a comment to his Zelle transfer.
And remember, regardless of how you sign-up, if your jackass gets sick, just call our GDR, or email us at Registration@ECV1866.org, before the start of our event, and we'll likely make sure you're comped for next time. You just have to be nice about it.
If you don't see a blue "SUBMIT" button at the bottom of the form, your browser does not support electronic sign-up. Use a different browser or sign-up by mail.
Event Shirts are available up to 4X for $20 each, but you must order by September 7th. There will be no event shirts for sale at the Doin's. Use the electronic registration form to order yours, or include a note with your snail mail registration to GDR "Top" Turner along with the extra $20 and the needed size. You can also Zelle him your order and dust. Zelle payment to email@example.com. Make sure to say who it's from and list the requisite sizes in the memo space. You can also text, email or call Top directly to order your shirt at firstname.lastname@example.org or (661) 714-7203, just do it by September 7th. Orders for event shirts will not be accepted after that date.
Other Clamper wearables are still available through the Rfocus Website. Just make sure you let Paul "Ragman" Gleim" know that you want to pick your stuff up at the Doin's and allow two weeks leadtime for your order. Delivery by mail is also available for a fee.
ECV Brothers who are on Active Military Duty who preregister by the prepay deadline get in free. Just mention it on your registration form and make sure to bring proof, like a copy of an official email showing your current orders, or an active military ID.
All Chapter Hawkers are welcome to ply their goods. But be prepared to do some trading.
PXL now requires a current written waiver from all attendees. You can speed things up for yourself and your PBC by downloading the form ahead of time and filling it out for each of you. We've included one in the infallible fillable flyer. These waivers are an ECV wide policy imposed by Grand Council to help keep E Clampus Vitus in existence. So no carping. Click here to read the waiver.
You can snail mail your application and rub to our Gold Dust Receiver at: Peter Lebeck #1866, c/o Dale "Top" Turner, XNGH/GDR, 24415 Lisa Kelton PL, Newhall, CA 91321, You can also Email your application to Registration@ECV1866.org, Make checks payable to "Peter Lebeck, Chapter #1866" Payments using Zelle should be sent to: email@example.com To learn more about Zelle and how you can use it, click --><-- here.
Click Here to Download a PDF Copy of the Infallible Fillable Flyer (revised 8.16.22).
SCHEDULE OF EVENT IMPORTANT S**T TO CONSIDER 4 our 4 DAY DECOMPRESSION
NO BURN BARRELS DUE TO DROUGHT. RV PARKING ALLOWED ANYWHERE ON THE MEADOW BUT WACTCH FOR TREES (They were there first). DRY CAMPING, BUT DRINKING WATER IS AVAILABLE. NO DOGS. NO WEAPONS. NO WIDDERS. NO HOOK-UPS. AND NO RETREADS. All PBCs must have a bribe for the board and do a 5 min. historical presentation as part of their interrogation. PBCs will submit and remain under the control of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite, no exceptions! AND again, No Retreads!
Thurs, Sept 29: Gate open at 1300 (1pm). You are on your own for lunch, dinner & Friday breakfast.
Fri, Sept 30: Open at 0700 (7am) for Redshirts & PBC’s. You will be on your own for breakfast & lunch.
10:00am & 4:31pm: -- Early check-in at the check-in table.
4:05 pm: Our Historian will impart an ECV History Lesson to our would-be Brethren. All Redshirts are welcome.
5:33 pm: PBCs must present themselves to the Hangman for survival instruction by the NGH &VNGH at the Bar.
6:03 pm: Humbug's Dinner Delight. Guaranteed to cleanse the colon.
8:07 pm: Humbug's "Yucca Contest" Shake Em Up and prepare to swallow your troubles away.
8:43 pm: : Clamper Poetry, Redshirt Tales & other BS, plus Karaoke.
Sat, Oct 1: A great day of Clamping with the Brothers...
5:31 am: All PBCs report to the cook shack for our XNGH breakfast preparation/bonding ritual.
7:03 am: Potluck breakfast - We provide the EGGS! You bring sausage, ham, frozen hash browns, tortillas, salsa, bacon, etc. Our cook team will prepare a meal guaranteed to cleanse your colon. PBCs to do the clean-up!
9:01 am: PBCs & sponsors check-in at the cook shack. PBCs will be Clean & Sober. NO EXCEPTIONS!
9:06 am : Redshirt check-in at the Check-in Table (No Grub-stub, no meals). No Kiddin'.
9:33 am : Our Historian will impart an ECV History Lesson to our would-be Brethren - All Redshirts are welcome.
Noonish: Lunch at the cook shack. PBCs always eat first, help serve when done, and then do the clean-up.
2:33 pm: PBC interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
5:03 pm: Necrology Ceremony & Hall of Comparative Ovations.
6:44 pm: Dinner.
8:17 pm: Raffle and Fireside fun - stories, jokes, male bonding, pass the bottle and the usual BS.
Sun, Oct 2: The dreaded "morning after."
7:00 am: A continental breakfast at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids for those who survived.
8:09 am: Camp clean-up. Everybody helps, from XSNGH to XPBC! ANY PBC/ FORMER PBC WHO LEAVES EARLY WILL NOT RECEIVE HIS SHEEPSKIN AND ID CARD --- AND WILL HAVE TO EARN THEM ALL OVER AGAIN!
10:06 am: Drive back to the orphans and widders. But do it SOBER!! And get ready for Holloween.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
Special PBC Requirements
SPONSORS! IGNORE THE FOLLOWING AT YOUR PERIL!
Upon arriving at our Clampsite, all PBC's must check in with our Grand Imperturbable Hangman, Rick "Hard Luck" Veiga. While on site, they will remain under Rick's exclusive control. He'll know how to initiate your supine sucker, and they don't call him "Hard Luck" for nothing. PXL allows no private "hazing" or bossing around of any kind, and we abide by Grand Council rules.
On Friday Afternoon, at 4:05, all PBCs MUST report to the Hangman for their ECV History Lesson. At 5:33, all sponsors and PBCs in camp will assemble at the cook shack for briefing, followed by PBC survival instructions. No exceptions!
All infirmities that might affect your PBC's ability to do moderately physical tasks MUST be disclosed to the Hangman. Vertigo, bad knees, bad ticker, claustrophobia, diabetes, all that stuff counts. Failure to disclose will result in PBC washout and possible sanctions for his sponsor. Our initiation is intended to be a mind f**k not an endurance test! If your friend has health issues we will get him properly initiated without sending him to Paramediclandia, but a failure to disclose health problems endangers everyone and is not appreciated.
Lastly, ALL PBCs must bring a bribe and prepare a five minute historical presentation for our Board of Inquiry. PBCs will not wear RED until they have completed their sacred ordeal. Membership at PXL is open only to men 21 or older with good attitudes. Pissy PBCs need not apply. Do as you're told and no one gets hurt.
ALL PBCs ARE ADVISED:
That from the time of their arrival all PBCs are guests of the Brothers of Peter Lebeck, ECV and will be under the protection and control of our Hangman & his Vigilantes.
As is our custom at PXL, PBCs may fraternize with the Brethren through Friday night but must show good attitude and submit to the directions of the Hangman from the time of their arrival, including being of service when so instructed by our Hangman.
On Saturday morning, all PBCs must report to the Cookshack at 5:31 a.m. for Kitchen Duty on pain of foregoing initiation. Last call for PBCs is 9:01 a.m. Saturday morning, but only if the Humbug accepts his excuse for not showing up. PBCs must be knowledgeable of all educational materials provided to them, especially the Handbook, be prepared to stand and deliver before our Board of Inquiry, and remain sober throughout the initiation. No Exceptions!
The PXL PBC Handbook should be downloaded Here!
PXL adheres to all Grand Council Rules which will be strictly enforced. It will be a clean, but memorable initiation as befits our Honorable Order.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
These are the Rules--So Read 'em!
RULES FOR THE WEEKEND- read and follow them closely. Our Brethren are always respectful of the places we visit, but a little extra info will help us maintain our reputation as a premiere outfit.
We are guests of XNGH Wes "Preacher" Kutzner and his Widder, Janet, who own the Bald Eagle Ranch. The property is situated in the mountains on the eastern side of the San Joaquin Valley. It's rustic, about an hour or more off the beaten path, and secluded, making it a good choice for a little PXL style Clamping.
Pick your route carefully and please take your time getting to the ranch. And whatever you do, don't drink and drive. If you have an RV, or just a car, the safest routes are through Caliente, off the 58, even if you are coming from Bakersfield. Keep in mind that we are dry camping. We will have access to water for drinking and cooking, but you'll want to bring whatever you need because the nearest grocery store is almost 10 miles away.
Burn barrels are out of the question due to persistent fire danger. Propane heaters are fine, but keep in mind that it can get cold in the mountains at night so pack accordingly. In the words of our Humbug, "If it's hot, have a beer. If it's cold, have some Jack. You're a Clamper, you'll figure it out." If you are bringing an RV, make good use of the space but mind the trees, and be prepared to cooperate with our Hostrix if you are asked to make adjustments. For everyone, the oaks on the property do provide some shade but you'll want to bring some of your own.
Lastly, we never have problems with our guys cleaning up after themselves, but please do pitch-in when we set-up and break-down. Guys remember the Redshirts who sit on their hinies when others are working or split early to avoid helping out. The really cool kids become auxiliaries of "Petey's Flying Circus," and that makes them our bestest besties.
So have a great time at Bald Eagle Ranch, it will be a memorable experience.
DO BRING: Shade, raffle/auction prizes, water buckets, horse shoes, stuff for Saturday's potluck breakfast (but no eggs).
DON'T BRING: Dope, firearms, burn barrels, explosives (including females), eggs, weaponry, anyone under 21, pissy PBCs, retreads or any of the usual No Nos. Violation means expulsion without refund. So, don't risk it. This applies to everyone! . . . AND NO DOGS OR RETREADS!
ALL PBCs must have a suitable bribe for the board and a five minute historical presentation. PBCs will submit to the authority of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite and remain under his control. PBC Harassment is the exclusive province of our Hangman so hands off! We don't care if you brought him yourself.
NOTE: This chapter respect and adheres to the rules of the Board of Proctors of E Clampus Vitus®, Inc.
REMEMBER - The PXL bar has snacks, sodas, iced tea and water. Want more? Bring it yourself.
Click on the red arrow to get directions.
So You Want Directions?
If driving an RV from Bakersfield, consider coming through Caliente and taking Caliente Creek Road. It avoids the Kern River Canyon narrows and steep mountain inclines.
From Bakersfield: Take 178 East to Elizabeth Norris (Exit 42 towards Bodfish), at the bottom of the off ramp turn Right. Turn Right onto Lake Isabella Blvd., Lake Isabella becomes Caliente Bodfish Road. Continue about 3 ½ miles and look for the double electric poles at the bottom of the "S" curve. Prior to reaching the poles take the gravel turn off, and proceed straight to enter Bald Eagle Ranch.
From Tehachapi - Mojave - LA: Take SR 58 to the Caliente exit. Go north through Caliente for about five miles until you reach a fork in the Road, keep right to stay on Caliente Creek Road (The left fork going up the hill will instead put you on the Caliente Bodfish Road). You will pass the community of Twin Oaks and the road will now become Walker Basin Road. Continue straight past the Walker Basin Road/Walker Basin Road intersection. Walker Basin Road will turn right and become Johns Road. Follow the turns in the asphalt road until you reach Caliente Bodfish Road (Approx 1.5 miles) then turn right. Continue north through the town of Havilah. The Bald Eagle Ranch is about 2 miles north of the Havilah Court House. As you approach the "S" curve you will see a double electric pole on the left side of the road, take the gravel turnout. Turn left onto Bald Eagle Ranch.
Note: If Coming through Caliente, the Lions Trail (Caliente Bodfish Road) is about 30 minutes closer BUT IS NOT recommended for Motor homes and trailers.
GPS 35.544016, -118.509431 -- Use the Larger View for Details
For more information contact:
Al "The Quackster" Price, XNGH (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Kelvin "Dr. Klapper" Swanson, VNGH (661) 252-9443 or KSwanson4@socal.rr.com
"Ptomaine Timbo" Gillespie, XXXNGH, Clampatriarch (714) 936-8650 or Timbodid@yahoo.com
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org