The Greybeards of PXL
Invite You to Join Our NGH,
"Timbo" Gillespie, for a Clampout
And Erection in Tehachapi!
April 23-25, 2010 (6015 C.E.)
TIMES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE ON THE HUMBUG'S WHIM:
Fri, April 23: Gates open at 10:00am. Bring shade, water and firewood.
7:30 pm: "Ptomaine" Timbo Gillespie will prepare a hot dinner. The rest is up to you.
Sat, April 24: Another fantastic day Clamping with the Brothers...
7:20 am: Potluck breakfast - We provide the EGGS! You bring us your sausage, ham, potatoes, tortillas, etc. Our XNGH cook team will prepare a meal suitable for a cardiac patient.
8:31 am: PBC & sponsor check-in with the Hangman at the bar. (PBCs will be Clean & Sober - even retreads)
9:06 am: Redshirt check-in at the bar. (No Grub-stub, no meals)
Noonish: Scrumptious lunch to insure your dietary needs, provided by PXL.
2:58 pm: PBC interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
3:54 pm: Necrology Ceremony (if needed) & Hall of Comparative Ovations.
6:20 pm: Dinner - Charred critter, Timbo=s Clamper beans & other vittles for your enjoyment.
7:45 pm: Fireside fun - Raffles, stories, jokes, songs, male bonding, pass the bottle and the usual BS.
Sun, April 25: Our Tehachapi hosts get a monument and plaque.
7:00 am: A continental breakfast will be available at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids available, too.
8:09 am: Camp clean-up. Everybody helps, from XNGH to XPBC!
10:36 am: Caravan to monument dedication ceremony in usual PXL disarray.
11:01am: Dedication of the monument in the town of Tehachapi, with presentation of sheepskins.
11:56 am: Drive back to the widows and orphans. But do it SOBER!
Keep reading for Rub, Directions, easy early sign-up, and other essential details about our doin's. Plus click the tabs at the top of this page to read our invite and erection pages, as well as the G.C. Rules for Initiation of PBCs.
Click here to download a PDF version of the doin's flyer.
What's the Rub, you ask?
Redshirts are $50 and PBC's are $70, but show us the courtesy of mailing your rub by April 19, 2010, and we'll knock $5 off the regular price. That's a low $45 and $65 respectively for you and each of your PBCs. Plus you can save time at check-in by filling out the electronic pre-registration form below, dowloading the required waiver form, and sending your completed forms along with your rub to Peter Lebeck -- E Clampus Vitus, Box 384, Bakersfield, CA 93302.
REMEMBER: Aside from their dust, ALL PBCs must have a bribe for the board and an historical presentation. MOREOVER from the time of their arrival, all PBCs will be under the protection and control of the Hangman & his Vigilantes.
PXL adheres to all Grand Council Rules which will be strictly enforced. It will be a clean, but memorable initiation as befits our Honorable Order.
All Chapter Hawkers are welcome to ply their goods. But, be prepared to do some trading.
Easy PrePay
Signing up by mail is easy, but getting an accurate count is hard, so earn a reward for helping us out. Use the electronic form below to preregister yourself and your PBC, then send in your rub before April 19th to earn the $5 early sign-up discount and a quicker check-in at the gate. You'll also have to fill-out the ECV release form to participate in our doin's anyway so why not download it now and send it in with your rub? Just use the link underneath the electronic form. There must be one for you and for each of your PBCs -- no exceptions. We didn't make this up, this is an ECV wide policy imposed by Grand Council.
Click Here to Download a PDF Copy of the Release Form.
Remember to get your RSVP and Gold Dust in by April 19, 2010. We need to make sure you're counted or we may end up sending you to Albertson's on a grocery run.
Send your rub and completed waiver forms to: Peter Lebeck -- E Clampus Vitus, Box 384, Bakersfield, CA 93302.
Clamper Directions Come Without Warranty
So You Want Directions?
Beginning Friday Morning we'll be Clamping at the Benz-Visco Sports Center, which is roughly four miles east of downtown Tehachapi and just south of Highway 58. Our plaquing will occur in town on Sunday morning, so plan on staying a little longer if you can to take in the local color and to see downtown Tehachapi which is celebrating its 100th Anniversary. Also don't forget that we'll be Clamping at close to 4,000 feet, so bring your winter drawers and an extra blanket to help you keep warm at night.
There is really only one way to get to Tehachapi by car, and that is to take Highway 58 up into the mountains between the Central Valley and Mojave, but Highway 58 is a major multilane state highway and is well maintained. Plus the Clampsite is very close to the exit, with easy RV access all the way.
THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE DIRECTIONS: You will be getting off of Highway 58 at the Monolith/ East Tehachapi Boulevard exit. Regardless of whether you are coming from the west or the east, the directions to the Clampsite are the same: At the bottom of the off ramp, turn right onto East Tehachapi Boulevard, then proceed not quite a mile to Tehachapi Willow Springs Road and turn right again. After crossing over the bridge, make another right at your first opportunity and proceed to the Benz-Visco Center. You're there. Happy Clamping.
HOW TO GET THERE FROM THE NORTH:
If you are taking Highway 99 or are coming from Bakersfield, take Highway 58 east, towards Tehachapi for 44 miles. You'll be passing the town itself and getting off at the Monolith/East Tehachapi Boulevard exit. Do not confuse this exit with the West Tehachapi Boulevard exit which comes up before you reach Tehachapi. One you're off the freeway follow the "most important part of the directions," above.
If you are coming from the eastern side of the Sierras, take US 395 south to Highway 14 which intersects with Highway 58 just north of Mojave. Then go west on the 58 for 16 miles to the Monolith/East Tehachapi Boulevard exit. Once you're off the freeway follow the "most important part of the directions," above.
If you are driving down Interstate 5 from the north, you must either drive past Bakersfield to connect with Highway 99, and then back track NORTH up the 99 and connect with the freeway portion of Highway 58 east; or you have to get off of the 5 at the Buttonwillow exit (257) and travel east on the street portion of Highway 58, which takes you through the southern portion of Bakersfield before you can connect with the 58 freeway to Tehachapi.
The street portion of Highway 58 is mostly one lane in either direction and is often slowed by truck traffic. Whichever way you go, once you reach the freeway portion of the 58, follow the directions for Highway 99.
HOW TO GET THERE FROM THE SOUTH: From L.A. and Orange Counties, take Interstate 5, or take Interstate 405, which merges into the 5 north of San Fernando, until you reach Highway 14 north. Continue on the 14 through Antelope Valley and into Kern County and exit at Mojave. This puts you on Mojave's business strip which is also Highway 58 (Business). DO NOT take the 14. Continue going north, straight through Mojave, until you see the 58 Freeway. Enter the freeway, going west, and travel 13 miles to the Monolith/East Tehachapi Boulevard exit. Once you're off the freeway follow the "most important part of the directions," above.
From San Bernardino, take Interstate 15 north to US 395, then continue north on 395 until you reach Highway 58. Take the 58 west for 67 miles until you reach the Monolith/East Tehachapi Boulevard exit. Once you're off the freeway follow the "most important part of the directions," above.
HOW TO GET THERE FROM RIVERSIDE AND BEYOND: Take either Interstate 15 south or take Interstate 40 west until it merges with the south bound 15, continue on the 15 until you reach Barstow. At Barstow merge onto Highway 58 west towards Tehachapi for 83 miles. Exit at the Monolith/East Tehachapi Boulevard off ramp. If you pass the town of Tehachapi you've gone too far. Once you're off the freeway follow the "most important part of the directions," above.
Cick here to download this map and directions.
Important Stuff to Remember!
These are the Rules--So Read 'em!
DO BRING: Raffle prizes, breakfast food, good PBC’s, training flicks (DVD), ideas for PBC games, shovels, rakes, burn barrels and your own libations. NO GROUND FIRES ARE ALLOWED, but burn barrels are permited, so keep your fires small and contained. Water and firewood are provided.
DON'T BRING: Dope, firearms, explosives (including females), weaponry, anyone under 21, pissy PBC's or any of the usual No-No's. Violation means expulsion without refund. So, don't risk it. This applies to EVERYONE!
ALL PBCs must have a bribe for the board and an historical presentation, as well as the requisite amount of dust. All PBCs will submit to the authority of our Hangman, Rick "Nimrod" Hatch, upon entry to the Clampsite and remain under his protection and control. All brothers are expected to treat these candidates with respect, according to Grand Council Rules.
REMEMBER - IT'S B.Y.O.B. Bring libations for yourself and others. The PXL bar has mixers, ice and snacks.
