Welcome to the CLOG Closet
The News Archive of Peter Lebeck
Kern County Chapter of E Clampus Vitus ®
Pre-Widders' Ball 2010
WEATHER UPDATE: POSTED - January 28, 6015 (2010)
Very Good Driving Conditions predicted for Saturday and Sunday! This weekend's weather will be very mild compared to last year when snow and torretial downpours up on the Grapevine caused intermittent closures. The whole mess threatened to keep some of our members who live in the south from making it to Bakersfield, though they did eventually make it.
In blessed contrast, we are looking forward to some very good traveling weather this weekend. Saturday's highs should be in the low 60's for Bakersfield and in the low 50's for the Grapevine, mostly sunny, with only a slight chance of showers. Any chance of precipitation up on the Grapevine and on the valley floor is predicted to be as low as 10%. Sunday should be about the same; more on the cloudy side but still very decent traveling weather. Bring a light jacket and your dancing shoes, and we'll see you Saturday at the Widders' Ball!
POSTED - January 25, 6015
Well less than a week to go before the PXL Widders' Ball, but if you are stressing because you haven't sent in your dust, don't despair, there's hope for you yet. Just drop us an email and let us know your dust is on its way - or better yet, at this late date - bring it to us in person, just let our GDR, Joe Szot know you intend to show up. And so you have no excuses, here's his email address: RoadRunner@PeterLebeckECV.com , and his phone number, (661) 965-7663. At least tell him you intend to come, so we have an excuse to make the poor guy stay in the kitchen and cut a few extra sirloin tips just for you!
Remember it's only $60 per couple or $35 stag, and we really would very much enjoy your company. Remember you can always mail money to us here at "Peter Lebeck ECV, P. O. Box 384, Bakersfield, CA 93302." Just don't expect to ever see it again. We really are kinda like Goldman Sachs if you think about it - only without the bonuses. To get the flyer just click on the purple lightning banner above.
And so how about that weather! Normally we'd make our Clamp Crier, Brother Dickhead, go out and stand on the Grapevine and render a few of his choice climatological prognostication, but this season we're excusing the poor SOB because his services just won't be needed. You see, the really bad stuff came early this year. Meaning that we do not expect the Grapevine to be closed or delayed on the day of the Widders' Ball. So if you are driving up from the south go ahead and pack your umbrella and your warm fuzzy undershirt, but don't expect to be stuck behind any snowplows because temperatures are expected to be in the 50's with a chance of showers.
In the past, some of the Brothers have gotten together on Friday night - the night BEFORE the PXL Widders' Ball - and caught the dinner show at the Buck Owens' Crystal Palace, next door to the hotel. The Crystal Palace bills itself as a steakhouse but has a varied menu, while the entertainment is decidedly Country and played by an excellent house band. Anyway our Brother Dennis "Hornhead" Horn is coming up from Santa Clarita on Friday Night and wants know if any of us would like to join him and his Widder for the dinner show at the Crystal Palace. If you are interested drop Brother Hornhead an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. What I've heard is that those of us who have gone out for the Friday night show at the Crystal Palace have come away pretty happy.
We also want to give special shout out to our Brother and PXL XNGH Chris Brewer. Chris was Humbug back in 1980, back when men were men and history was still in the making. Chris knew and worked with many of the Graybeards who started the Peter Lebeck chapter of E Clampus Vitus, many of whom were real historians, but who in their time were called to the Golden Hills. Brothers kept trying to convince me that Chris was one of those old redshirt who had ventured off on the same path, and they had me pretty much believing it, too; that is until my internet search turned up a fairly recent historical essay about the first Catholic cemetery in Bakersfield, written by one, "Chris Brewer." Even then some of the brothers were convinced that this had probably been written by Chris's son.
It was Cookie's widow, Linda, who was able to set things straight. You see Chris is a recognized professional historian who works for the State of California, and aside from being a researcher and writer, has published several volumes of historical photographs, a couple of which were in Linda's library. When I asked Linda if she had ever met Chris, she pulled out one of these books and there on an inside page was his photo along with a biographical paragraph that proved Chris was younger than most of the members on our present PXL board. In fact Chris has the likely honor of having been the youngest Humbug ever to preside over PXL.
So why the hubbub and why now? Well Chris has generously offered to help us get our history back in order. Our XNGH from 1980 has a collection of PXL and Clamper memorabilia that goes as far back as the 1960's, and covers most of the first half of our chapter's life. The three graphics you see here are nice examples. We are hoping that as Chris goes through his collection these materials, and his memories, will allow us to better understand and describe our chapter's activities, more accurately reconstruct our plaque history, and learn more about the men who gave our chapter life during its first quarter century. So thanks, Chris. We are so looking forward to this, especially as we approach our 50th Anniversary.
Last but not least (actually it is least because we chose to leave it for last) is the celebration of Whiskey Flat Days 2010 in Kernville. Just click on Duffus, here on the right, to download all the juicy details about this four day event, starting February 11th through the 15th, and sponsored by the Kernville Chamber of Commerce. As you ought to be aware by now, PXL has been making an effort not only to show up, but to march in Saturday's Parade. So get yourselves together, spruce yourselves up and come on down. We'll be waiting for you. Check back here for further details. Until then Cloggites, peace out, and see you at the Widders' Ball this Saturday!
POSTED - January 10, 6015
Hello, Fellow Clogites, and welcome back to the PXL CLOG. January is an auspicious month for your brothers here at Peter Lebeck because it always marks the beginning of a new administration. Not that there was anything wrong with the old one, but Humbugs, like autumn leaves and suckling pigs roasting on a spit, need to be turned on occasion. After all, we need to keep the poor guy from getting too burned out or he'll have too much of an excuse not to stick around and be Clampatriarch for the coming year. And much the same goes for his officers, who all need to be properly seasoned before further grilling.
So it is with that in mind that we invite you all to join us at the 48th Annual Peter Lebeck Widders' Ball and Demotion Dinner on January 30, 2010, at the Buck Owens Crystal Palace Best Western in Bakersfield. You can get more scuttlebutt below but to satiate your immediate need to know, just click on the purple lightening banner above to go to our dedicated page where you can download the flyer ASAP.
Now assuming that you've all done that already and are primed to send in your dust, we want to key you in on some very important information. First of all, we hereby congratulate our brother Doc, aka Dale Charter, on a fine year as Humbug and we also want to congratulate his vice, Timbo Gillepie for picking up this year's baton and running with it. "A fine job," gentlemen, and much thanks to your officers for their hard work as well.
As is our custom the new slate for 6015 will be announced at our Widders' Ball where backing out will be very hard for any victim to do without being totally embarrassed in front of everybody, including his Widder.
Moreover as is becoming our habit here at PXL, our brother Doc has written his final report on his year as PXL's Humbug, and here is a tiny piece of it:
"Greetings to All of My Brothers!
"Another year has almost passed us by, but I finally got the joke about the two best Clamping days in a man's life: The day that you become an XPBC and the day that you become an XNGH. Those crazy guys that went before me never told me how busy and time consuming this Humbug thing would be.
"Anyway I sincerely want to thank ALL MY BROTHERS who got off their duffs and were really willing to support me when I asked, pleaded and cried for your help (sorry Gene's, I know that you're the official crier, but didn't I do a good job of it?). And rather than go into all the names of all the brothers who helped, you'll just have to come on down to our Widders' Ball & Officers Roast to hear all the accolades. There you can have the best fun kicking my tail and plucking my tail feathers, after all, you'll need something to mix in with the tar.
"So what did I get myself into this year, you ask? "
To find out, read the rest of his report on Our Humbugs' Page where he recaps his adventures for the entire 6014 Clampyear, which we believe you will find most Satisfactory!
As for the rest of you, we expect you all to show up at the Widders' Ball, rain or shine so that Doc and his outgoing officers will get a proper razzing. Just keep reading down this page to our Thanksgiving Post, for details. Doc has switched things around a bit to make our significant others more at ease, and the accommodations are designed to keep us all Clamping and out of the local lock-up. Not that we are a bunch of overly rowdy guys, but at $65 a night -- which includes a full American Breakfast for two -- staying over at the Best Western Crystal Palace is way better than driving home in the dark with the Chippies in pursuit. Especially since under the current political climate, "I just had two beers, officer," is no longer a solid legal defense. So be safe and have a good time. Make your reservations at the hotel and with us before the deadline so that we'll have an accurate count and you'll have a warm place to make whoopee.
So with that in mind we are offering MGM's Top Ten Reason you can give your Widder as to why PXL's Widder's Ball is a "can't miss" event. Just give her "the facts ma'm" and she'll finally realize that:
1. PXL is not a top secret terrorist organization as your Widder has always suspected. Al Qaida is actually organized, PXL is not.
2. This will be your Widder's best chance of the year to make you look good…which means this will be her best chance of the year to make you really, really owe her big time.
3. You'll gladly bring your Widder to our pre-ball PXL Hospitality Room where everyone will marvel at her beauty, and wonder what the heck such a good looking woman is doing with such a homely guy. But after a couple of adult beverages she'll stop thinking of that as a sore point and start seeing the distinct advantages of being with such a handsome hombre for the rest of such a marvelous evening.
4. At the ball you will introduce your Widder to some of your best Clamping buddies and their Widders. Wining and dining comes next, and the women will quickly endeavor to figure out whether we've all been naughty or nice. To keep the ladies from getting too obsessed by our shenanigans they'll be taken to the dance floor and treated to the "Peter Lebeck Spin."
5. The costume competition comes next, but if she has a mind to show off, she won't be alone as all Widders are invited to participate in this year's more genteel fashion competition - whether it be for period dress, hottest saloon girl or most absurd get up. As for the guys, they will continue to show off in a veritable meat market of strutting male flesh. The Widders really like that.
6. Just prior to the razzing disbarment of the old régime, you will promise to buy your Widder a handful of little red raffle tickets so she may have the chance to win that Ferrari she says she has always wanted, meaning that…
7. Much to your Widder's relief you'll have finally proven to her that you really aren't the kind of guy her mother warned her about, or...
8. Much to your Widder's relief you'll have finally proven to her that you really are the kind of guy her mother warned her about.
9. And much to her relief you'll get her to forget what her mother warned her about: You'll get her a room at the Crystal Palace where you'll go hunting for her "happy spot" -- and promise not to come up for air until you find it (She'll like that a whole lot).
10. Best of all you'll have finally convinced your Widder that when you've gone Clamping over the years with PXL you really haven't been spending your weekends sleeping with other women. You've really been sleeping with other men. That should really, really put her mind at ease.
See you at the Widders' Ball, and stay tuned for updates.
POSTED - January 3, 6015
To all our Brothers, their loved ones and our many friends, we wish you all the best throughout this holiday season and throughout the coming year. May you all be safe, healthy, happy and a little bit wiser; may you be three steps ahead of the tax man, and may you always have something extra in the kitty to see you through another Clamp Year. May the air you breathe be sweet, your prospects golden, and the companionship special all throughout Two Thousand and Ten (6015).
6015 marks the beginning of Peter Lebeck's 48th year as an official chapter of E Clampus Vitus redivivus, and we wonder what our brothers who founded it way back in 1962 would think of our chapter today. We're sure they had lofty goals for their new chapter, but it never became any kind of mega organization; and at one point in its history it could have easily faded away but for a little luck and the dedication of a handful of brothers who refused to let the chapter die. Today our chapter remains vibrant and has been in the vangard, pressing many of the ideas that are guiding Clamping into its next century.
So let us give thanks, even if it means being a little sad. For how much more resplendent are the Golden Hills with brothers like Kenny Young, Gene Boltinghouse, Tom Hagelstein, and other noted Lebeckians toiling in the Master's Diggin's? Brother that we knew well, but for too short a time; whose character helped lead and build our chapter and allowed it to survive. To you our brothers, this is what we have to say, and we hope our report is most Satisfactory!
Peter Lebeck had a very good year in 6014. Our Humbug, Dale Charter, and his active Graybeards and officers put in a strong and creative effort, pointing our chapter in the new direction it needed to go. Despite the faltering economy and conflicting calendar dates posted by other local chapters, we had a respectable attendance at our doin's where a good time was had by all. In fact, some guys were heard to say after our Inyokern Doin's it was the most fun they had ever had at a Clampout, and who are we to disagree?
Our store also did very well this year despite the fact that XNGH Joe Szot had to take over the Hawking duties after our regular Hawker took ill. So kudos to Joe, your work this year was an important contribution, as were the efforts of all our brothers that made our three Clampouts a success. So while Peter Lebeck can hardly claim to be rich, the efforts of all these brothers have left us solidly in the black, with a sufficient cushion for the coming year…so here we go again.
Our chapter also continues to grow at a sure, steady rate; and we think that we have added some good guys interested in more than just the party. We gained nine new members at our own Kern County Doin's and helped bring in another 66 new red shirts at the 4-Way in CalNevAri, Nevada. As a real boost to our sense of unity we worked in close cooperation with the three other Southern Alliance Chapters -- Queho Posse, Billy Holcomb, and Platrix -- and came away with a deepened sense of brotherhood. And we look forward to doing it again in three years.
Our chapter also continues to refocus in the direction of our historical roots, to rebalance what we do as Clampers: Fun and frivolity, always. History, of course; but service: service has to become a factor, because service makes us part of the Kern County community and bonds us more fully to the spirit of E Clampus Vitus, and that is especially true for a chapter like ours which draws its current membership from all over southern California.
Close to home we helped smooth the way for the widow of one of our brothers who had been called to the Golden Hills. What we were able to provide helped her over the rough spots as she settled his affairs. Her gratitude was heartfelt and was felt by all of us.
More publically we continued to support a local battered women's shelter, which many of us see as a good solid way to live up to our pledge to provide for the widders and orphans in need.
Our local erections have also contributed to the life of our community as we plaqued the Silver City Ghost Town in Bodfish and helped celebrate the 100th Anniversary of Inyokern, where our current reputation not only earned us an invitation to plaque but made us full partners in their centennial celebration. Our Spring 2010 erection will continue to increase our growing reputation as we erect a plaque in Downtown Tehachapi during their 100th Anniversary Celebration.
And if you are wondering why we should even bother to have a public profile, well Peter Lebeck is more than just a private club. There was a time when PXL had close ties to the UC historians that were responsible for the revival of our order. That time is long gone. Here and there ECV still has a historian with real credentials, a guy like Billy Holcomb's Mark Hall-Patton, would be a good example. Well as our good works in the community continue the day will come when PXL will again be able to boast having its own historical chops, and as our reputation grows that day will get closer and closer. So for now, peace and blessings be upon us. May He who watches over us be with us all in 6015.
POSTED -- November 23, 6014 (Amended 12.1.09)
Hello dear brothers, and a Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours from your brothers here at PXL. As winter arrives and we hit the doldrums of the Clamping season don't despair. He who made the Golden Hills set this time aside to give us all a chance to recharge our batteries and to plan for the good times ahead.
So as we gather together with family and friends, let us take more than a few moments to reflect on the blessings bestowed on us during this past year, even as it has been hard on many of us. Thanksgiving is a time set aside for us to be grateful for what we have, to celebrate each other and to pray for better times ahead. Also keep in mind that as a national holiday Thanksgiving was first celebrated during the Civil War so in this season of remembrance let us not forget our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and all our soldiers throughout the world, may they come home safe and to the gratitude of the nation they protect.
In this edition of the CLOG we just want to bring you up to speed on where we've been and where we expect to go. As you ought to have noticed by now, the composition of our homepage has shifted from advertising our fall Clampouts to trumpeting our Widders' Ball and Demotion Dinner. But that doesn't mean that all is forgotten.
While we haven't finished with the Four Way picture page, we did commit to creating a durable record of our shenanigans at CalNevAri and that remains a work in progress. Unfortunately MGM's camera equipment took a major swan dive during the 4-way and many of the more than 500 images are in pretty bad shape. That said we do have over 200 photos posted already plus mug shots of all the PBCs. Panoramas, movies and more doin's pics will be posted soon so keep checking Peter's Picture Pages for updates. If you haven't seen the mug shots they are certainly worth a look.
Our PXL Widders' Ball is set for Saturday, January 30, 2010, at the Buck Owens Crystal Palace Best Western in Bakersfield, California. The Crystal Palace is a business class hotel right off the 99 freeway. We have a few surprises this year and a new, lower, special room rate for those who would like to stay overnight. Recognizing our status as a repeat client, the Crystal Palace is offering a $65 room rate which includes breakfast for two. Management has set aside a limited number of rooms at this price so we encourage you to make your reservations as soon as possible. To get this rate make sure to read the flyer. Your commitment to stay over, along with our use of their banquet facilities provides us with a complimentary hospitality room where we can all party before the party. This also helps keep our low admission price to the Widders' Ball stay low. What we charge for the ball has never been about padding the PXL checking account but making sure that we can all get together at least once a year and show our women the appreciation they deserve. Hey, and it's a whole lot of fun to see everybody all dressed up and shaking their tuckuses, so how about it?
Humbug Doc Charter says he's changing the ladies part of the costume competition this year to make sure our widders get their proper respect. From now on the "meat locker" approach is out. After all the point of the Widders' Ball is to show our ladies a good time and that we appreciate them, not to make them feel uncomfortable. For the Widders Costume Competition a prize will be awarded in each of three categories: Period, Saloon, and Absurd. A new accolade, that of "Grand Widder " will also be bestowed upon the woman who has advanced the cause of our chapter the most throughout the previous year, be it through fund raising, charity or improving our reputation in the community. As for the men, seeing as how you don't have any shame, the widders still get to gawk as you strut your stuff, so brothers, look purdy.
Our incoming Humbug Erectus, Timbo Gillespie is already making plans for his Spring Clampout and Erection. Timbo has proposed that we plaque the southernmost point of the Sierra Nevada and has called for a Clampout in the Tehachapi area near the end of April. As Timbo has gone looking for a suitable place to put up our new monument, he has discovered that this is still Tehachapi's 100th Anniversary, the city having been incorporated on August 13, 1909, and that presents a whole lot of very interesting possibilities, including the chance that we may be invited to erect our monument inside the city's new centennial pavillion. We'll post the details here as they become more substantial. Also our Humbug in waiting is expected to announce his officers for 6015 so stay tuned for that as well. For those of you who can't stand the suspense, we here at the CLOG recommend an extra slice of Thanksgiving Turkey. The tryptophan will do you some good. Enjoy the holidays.
One last thing before we go. Brother Dickhead reminds us that this year there is a conflict between the Lord Sholto Douglas Bean Feed and Kernville's Whiskey Flat Days Parade, both scheduled for Saturday, February 13, 2010. We've had pretty good luck over the years at the bean feed, most recently with Timbo and his PXL crew having taken second place two years in a row. But we already sense a desire by many to stick close to Kern County and make our presence known at home. Or it might simply be a case of bean there done that.
In any event, if you are interested in the LSD Bean Feed read the Peter's Board thread posted on All Things Clamp'sidered. And don't forget that as an ECV Brother in good standing you are always invited to join and post to Peter's Board, and that means that if you are more of a bean feed kinda guy you can certainly make your presence known from afar (if you know what we mean). To learn more about the 2010 Whiskey Flat Days click here to read our earlier post, and don't foget to check back for updates. As soon as the Kernville Chamber of Commerce announces their schedule for Whiskey Flat Days you should be able to find the link here on the CLOG.
POSTED -- October 22, 6014
Here's a last minute reminder by Muleskinner concerning Turdstock: "If you're looking for a great doins', head out to Bolado Park in Hollister this weekend for the Annual conclave of Cyber-whangers, know as Turdstock. It's a non-ECV event for redshirts who gather every year for fun, food and frolic. Read the flier here: http://www.ecvnet.com/ecvbbs/turdstockpdf.htm"
All we ask is that you BYO everything and plan on preparing a favorite dish for the Brothers to share along with their own. We guarantee that nobody will leave hungry. If you've never been, try it out. Only $20 at the gate. RV's tents, etc welcome. Hookups available at no extra charge while they last. The weather is suppose to be in the mid to high 70's and mid 40's at night. Perfect Clamping weather around the massive bonfire on Friday and Saturday nights. Redshirt entertainment abounds as well as a fantastic raffle and Auction.
Hope to see a bunch of you there........
Another effort to help keep Clamping affordable....!!!
POSTED -- October 16, 6014
And welcome back to the PXL Clog! By now you are probably wondering what Sid Blumner, "El Mojave" aka "Dr. Warmth," is doing sitting on our Clog page. Well we think Sid is entitled to sit anywhere he wants, but more on that later. For now the Clog would like to welcome back all who survived last weekend's Southern Alliance V Clampout at CalNevAri, Nevada, and here is our report.
The Southern Alliance 4-Way was a most successful doin's. The weather was great, the camaraderie excellent, and while the official figures are not yet in, the Clog estimates a total paid attendance of about 750, including a PBC class of 66 (65 + 1 retread), all of whom completed the initiation. The 4-Way also resulted in the erection of a very beautiful monument to the establishment of CalNevAri, the fly-in community established in 1965 by Slim and Nancy Kidwell following their claim to 640 acres of land under Pittman Act. Our host chapter, Queho Posse of southern Nevada, provided a most excellent form in the shape of their home state, and if you want a closer look, you can find its picture (and its big brother) posted on our Plaquing pages. Just click on this link. "Oh, mighty concrete!" indeed.
The HOCO itself was also one of the most memorable and dramatic we've ever seen, and we wish to thank all who took part for ushering in our new brothers with all the gusto and seemly decorum that the occasion deserved. We also want to thank all the brothers from Queho Posses, Peter LeBeck, Platrix, and mighty Billy Holcomb who contributed the many hours and resources needed to pull off this doin's. The comments that we keep hearing and reading over and over again speak to the brotherly cooperation of all in making this doin's a success. We also want to congratulate our new red shirts who every time we turned around seemed to be trying to outdo each other no matter what task they were assigned. We look forward to Clamping with them in the future.
We are still gathering photos from the weekend which will be posted on a special 4-Way page here on the PXL website. It will go up a piece at a time, but will eventually include photo galleries, a few short videos and before and after mug shots of our new brothers, so keep an eye on the Clog and on your email for updates. If you'd like a 640 x 480 sized copy of the "Got Glue?" video you can download it here. It's nice, but it's a 9 megabytes download.
Speaking of email, if you attended the 4-way you will likely find yourself on our email list, so brace yourself for the occasional brief notice from the Clog whenever we update our pages. But if you just can't stand this kind of stuff, just hit the reply button and type "Take me off your f____'n list!" And we'll make sure to send it to you twice next time. But if you're polite about it, we'll delete you - with no hard feelings.
As for other forms of communication: Our electronic message board, aka "Peter's Board," is open to all Clampers in good standing, and we enjoy having brothers drop by, read the threads and contribute posts even if they have never been to one of our doin's. Sign-up is simple and takes less than five minutes, and you don't have to sign up just to look around. So please, give it a try. If you have questions just email MGM, and he'll even set it up for you.
And let's not forget the Inyokern Centennial and Clampout. Before we headed off to the 4-way, we spent the weekend of September 25th in the Indian Wells Valley conducting a different desert Clampout to help one of our Kern County communities celebrate its 100th Anniversary. Well the Clog just wanted to let you know that the pictures have been up since Monday. So if you want to make sure that MGM didn't photograph you in some uncompromising position check them out ASAP. For the rest of you, blackmail quality reprints are available for a small "service charge." It's extra to destroy the negative.
Use the arrows on either side of the scroll bar to fast forward through the pictures. Now that Inspector Ron has rebuilt all the photo pages with a new version of the viewer the photo crawl will start from the last photo you viewed in the top window. The thing no longer comes bouncing back like a rubber band. Enjoy.
And speaking of Clamping with us . . . if you've never visited with PXL in our native Lebeckian habitat you are in for a treat. Our territory encompasses both mountains and desert, with most of our Clampouts taking place in the oak studded woodland above the Kern River Valley. Ideally we'd like to have about 100 guys show up at a doin's, but if we don't make out target we promise not to talk you into paying twice. We may think it's well worth it but at PXL the price is always reasonable, the grub good and the experience most satisfactory. You'll find you brothers at Lebeck to be a friendly bunch, and we promise you'll have plenty of opportunity to visit with everybody at PXL if that's what you'd like to do. So don't overlook us, and join us when you get the chance. In the meantime, check out our website. It is one of the best in all Clamperdom, and if you are not on our email list and would like to be included, just drop our webgeeks a line and we'll make sure you don't miss out.
So now why is Dr. Blumner sitting at the top of the PXL CLOG? Well we just wanted to acknowledge Sid's contributions to Clamping, not just as the 2009 Clamper of theYear, but as a founding member of the Billy Holcomb Chapter which is celebrating its 40th Anniversary this month. Sid has never left their side, and he's never been satisfied to just sit on his graybeard. El Mojave continues to actively contribute to the brotherhood of ECV. We congratulate Sid and Billy Holcomb, and wish them many more years of Clamping success.
Like we said. Sid can sit anywhere he wants. -- MGM.
POSTED -- October 8, 6014
Our CalNevAri Doin's start tomorrow, Friday October 9th, and the weather is predicted to be near perfect for our romp in the sand! With the highs predicted to be 80 degrees and the overnight lows kissing 60, who could you ask for anything more? No rain in sight either. So pack your camel, Lawrence. It's time to par-TAY! We will see you all in CalNevAri, and remember check in time for PBC's is 3 p.m. on Friday. Just click on the RED BALL above to download the flyer and directions (since deleted).
POSTED -- October 1, 6014
Welcome back Cloggites. Read on for the latest news about the Southern Alliance 4-Way, our recent Inyokern Doin's and miscellaneous detritus that you'll soon be picking out of your teeth, so keep reading.
First up, the 4-Way. As you'd better be d_mn well aware by now, one of the biggest Clampouts of the season -- the Southern Alliance V -- starts next week, Friday, October 9th, in CalNevAri, Nevada. If you haven't sent in your rub, what the heck are you waiting for Brother? Time is running out! And if you don't do it now you may find yourself in a long line, hat in hat, begging to be let in at the gate. Who knows? We just may run out of desert.
Our Brother, Cass Ellsworth, GNR from Billy Holcomb, reports that the body count as of last Sunday, September 27th, stands at 500, including 50 PBCs, with many more to come. PXL encourages all brothers who are interested in going to the Doin's to get your dust in pronto or miss one of the greatest, contabfabulous, celebrutorious confabrations on the planet to date. Just click on the red ball above to get the flyer.
While both Redshirt and PBC sign-ups are acceptable at the gate, you can help the sponsoring chapters -- including PXL -- by mailing your dust ASAP as it helps us plan for food and other provisions. CalNevAri is nowhere near COSTCO and the last thing we want you to have to do is go foraging in the desert for something to eat (eating PBCs will not be allowed at this doin's). Also keep in mind that PBCs are expected to sign-in by 3 p.m. on Friday and report for duty by 6 a.m. Saturday morning, so late sign-up can be a problem if you intend to introduce a buddy to the signs and symbols of our "Ancient and Honourable Order." Now git 'er done!
And one last thing on this subject. If'n you're thinking that CalNevari is too far to go for a Clampout, keep in mind that it is only 4 and a half hours from either Bakersfield or Los Angeles, or just a casual evening's drive down what is mostly uncrowded highway.
We also want to thank all who came by this last weekend to our fall 2009 Doin's at Inyokern, where more than fifty of you found the time to join us for both the Clampout and the village's Centennial Celebration. Aside from the 105 degree heat, we had perfect weather, and witnessed five new brothers pass from the dark side into the light.
So right off the bat we want to welcome aboard Kevin "Yeti" Oviatt, Karl Baker, Robert "Bababooey" Hernandez, Kenton Miller, and Don "Hass" Osuna. Aside from the fact that you were the most tone deaf group of candidates in memory, lacking any sense of rhythm and all suffering from short term memory loss, you passed your boards with flying colors, and showed superior attitude. Having had the good sense to join us while still retaining solid possession of your faculties speaks volumes for all of you. We look forward to Clamping with each and every one of you for many years to come. Welcome new Redshirts!
And how about that parade and dedication! As most of you are aware we were asked by the Inyokern Chamber of Commerce to help plan the Inyokern Centennial Celebration, and we made what we hoped were significant contributions, including many hours put in by our PXL Brothers and especially our Humbug "Doc" Charter.
Like our Silver City Doin's last spring, our civic participation has again boosted both our status and our reputation in the Kern County community. The history written for our webpage was fully adopted by the centennial committee as the centerpiece of their official centennial publication. We also dedicated the 1914 Social Hall monument that you see depicted here, and best of all we got to ride in the parade! As you can see by the little commemorative movie up top, there are few things more fun than a truckload of happy Clampers. It is only with sheepish regret that we report that our participation was marred by a slight mishap, which we reluctantly mention here.
You see once cued up for the parade the Clamper flatbed found itself parked next to an open trailer containing the "Ridgecrest Rebels," a junior cheer squad that challenged our PBCs to a cheering-singing "duel." Sadly the results were so embarrassing that even the crustiest Red Shirts among us found themselves on the side of the prepubescent Rebels. The girls solidly kicked PBC butt over and over again, and the new guys would likely have been thrown overboard had they not redeemed themselves by singing and cheering all the way down the parade route, serenading all with the "Bean Burrito Song" and the PXL Cheer, which they had to invent on the spot. Were it not for the fact that Clampers have no shame this could have been an unmitigated disaster.
Meanwhile, back at the Clamp, a good time was had by all. We were told by more than one brother that this was the most fun they had ever had at a Clampout, something we attribute to the friendliness of our brethren. I know that I certainly appreciated their cover. You see most recently a certain Humbug from a certain very large chapter, said some rather surly things about me to our Humbug, suggesting that he wanted to do more than just buy me a drink at the upcoming 4-Way. However since he has never met me, the Humbug in question would likely have a most difficult time picking me out of a crowd. Well the brothers at Inyokern found out about this looming possibility and offered to provide me a little camouflage. Makes me hard to pick out of a crowd, doesn't it?
Hey before you start ragging on about how gullible us Clampers really are, we here at PXL are at least bright enough to look ahead a little bit. Details about the Widders' Ball will be posted soon, but we have a special reason to give you a heads-up about Whiskey Flat Days, which is set for the weekend of Friday, February 12, 2010, in Kernville, California. We mention it because Camp James Campground, a beautiful site situated on the Kern River, is currently accepting reservation for the four day weekend and we know how quickly the place can sell out, particularly in this era of "staycations." So for now at least, the camp still has full hook-ups available, and cable TV and Wi-Fi can be had throughout the park. If you are interested call proprietors Joe & Cathy Cunningham at 760-376-6119, or email them at email@example.com. Their website is http://campjames.net/default.aspx Mention that you are with Peter Lebeck - or don't.
If you haven't come out for Whiskey Flat Days before it is a whole lot of fun. For the third year in a row, we will be marching in Saturday's Parade, sporting our Clamper Finery and period attire. Not a stag event, your widder is most especially invited to come and make the rest of us grizzly looking fellows look respectable. As usual we expect our soon to be x-Humbug, Doc Charter and his wife Marti to invite us back to their place for a little camaraderie after the parade, provided we behave ourselves. So how about it Mr. & Mrs. Charter, may we drop by for a little visit?
If you are interested in helping the Chamber of Commerce with Whiskey Flat Days, call (760) 376-2629. Or call Dale at (760) 417-0599, and he can hook you up.
Just a brief addendum. During the Clampout the starry skies above Inyokern were spectacular, but I was also intrigued by the lights just across the way on Highway 14. That turned out to be a real bonus as they lit the way to the Indian Wells Brewing Company, a very friendly Kern County microbrewery which just happened to be open by the time I headed home Sunday Morning. I still can't explain how I ended up with half a dozen six packs in the back of my truck, but if you are in the area, it is definitely worth dropping by, or just pick up a sixer or two at Whole Foods Market. My favorite is the "Lobotomy Bock," a very smooth dark lager, without a hint of bitterness or cloying sweetness. At 10.8% alcohol, two of these puppies will put you in a very good mood. And if you can't make CalNevAri, you just might head on over to their 14th Annual Oktoberfest celebration, Saturday, October 10th.
This is likely the last post before the 4-Way, but we do hope to have the pictures up from Inyokern so cruise by in a few days and check out our picture page. Until then know that all here at PXL believe strongly in whirled peas.
POSTED -- September 21, 6014
Brothers! This is your last call to get ahead of the curve and save a whole half an eagle (or for those of you too young to remember the good old days - that's a whole $5) on admission to this weekend's fun-filled PXL Clampout at Inyokern. Email your Res-Veep and drop your prepay in the mail no later than Wednesday or suffer the indignity of paying full price. Pay ahead of time and it's $45 for Redshirts and $65 for your PBC. Show up unannounced and expect our Gold Dust Receiver to tag you for THE FULL PRICE!
Believe your close relations here at PXL when we tell you that the last thing you want to do is live a life full of regrets. Our Fall 2009 Clampout will happen only once, and if you miss it you will only have yourself to blame. Think real hard before you give up your chance to party with your brothers from Peter Lebeck and waste one of the best weekends of your life working on the household plumbing, changing the oil in your widder's car, cleaning the cat's sandbox, or - God Preserve You -- watching college football!!
So mail in your gold dust by this Wednesday or pay the full ride. Make sure you send it to: Peter Lebeck -- E Clampus Vitus, P.O.Box 384, Bakersfield, CA 93302. And don't forget that to lock in the price at this late date you MUST email our trusty dusty Gold Dust Receiver, Joe Szot and let him know you are coming by sending your RSVP to Roadrunner@PeterLebeckECV.com. And even if you don't send in your dust ahead of time make sure you give Szot a heads-up anyway. Not that we won't be glad to see you should you show up unannounced, it's just that you may end up having to make apologies for the size of your meat (or worse. You may end up telling everyone that it tastes like chicken). So from now on there will be no excuses! You've been warned. We love you man! See you there.
For more information contact:
Mark "Pokey" Crawford, NGH (661) 993-7907 or Crawford562@Yahoo.com
Kevn "No Eye" Horton, VNGH (661) 472-0414 or ThePXLstore@yahoo.com
Al "The Quack" Price, Clampatriarch (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org
- Clog Closet Last Archived June 1, 2019