Welcome to the CLOG Closet
The News Archive of Peter Lebeck
Kern County Chapter of E Clampus Vitus ®
MINUS 3 - Announcing Havilah Days 2014
As Amended - 06.01.14 -- By MGM
Hello fellow Cloggites, and welcome back to another shameless but exciting edition of the PXL CLOG. For those of you who logged on to see the Pole Dancing, we're sorry to have to disappoint you, but we've had to cancel this most special event due to gout. Injuring anyone of eastern European or Slavic descent just to promote the CLOG is unacceptable to our editorial staff here at PXL, though we are certainly not above bruising a few egos or eating our share of kielbasa.
Still we hope that you will stick around because we have quite a few things to cover. We have a summer erection coming up next Saturday, a recap from Grand Council, news of our recent Spring Doin's, and other significant tidbit and detritus that are sure to entice you to delve into the bowels of our website, so stick around.
First off, our Humbug Charles Topping invites one and all to our summer erection commemorating the old Catholic Cemetery at Havilah, California, on Saturday, June 7th at 1:00 p.m. This monument dedication is part of the annual Havilah Days celebration which starts at 10 a.m. and runs until 4 in the afternoon so make sure to come early and bring your family. In between you will be able to tour the town museum and sample the food and refreshments, but make sure to bring some coin and your best redshirt. Full regalia is appreciated but expect it to be warm, so you'll also want make sure you're well hydrated if you expect to stick around. Contributors to this event include our newly minted brother Al Price, his Widder Jayne, and the Havilah Centennial Group, which will be sponsoring a barbeque. XNGH Wes Kutzner and his Widder Janet are also contributors to this effort as long time Havilah Boosters, and Charles and his Widder Pat will be serving sarsaparilla.
The cemetery dates from 1866, back when Havilah was still at the center of mining activity in and around the Kern River Valley and was vying to be the county seat of the newly incorporated Kern County. The cemetery is located about 300 yards uphill from the historic Havilah Courthouse. The Diocese of Fresno will be celebrating a second memorial with the names of those laid to rest at the Havilah site. For additional information call Charles at (760) 376-1907, or email him at ccTopping@gmail.com.
The Grand Council of E Clampus Vitus was convened at the Sonora Fairgrounds in Sonora, California on May 16-18, 2014. While many regular Redshirts and their Widders make a point of showing up and starting the party ahead of time, it is in fact the annual get together of Graybeards from all over E Clampus Vitus. The formal parts of this conclave includes meetings of the Board of Proctors, where problems are addressed, new Sublime Officers are chosen and proctors who are termed out are replaced. There is also a meeting on Saturday, analogous to a corporate shareholders meeting, where only Graybeards are allowed to attend. The new corporate officers are announced and installed and each chapter's current Humbug is expected to give a report. Other side meetings include a gathering of the Dumbillican Brotherhood, a report by the "Committee of One," and the selection of the Clamper of the Year.
Out most esteemed Brother, Gene "Dickhead" Dunker, PXP, has this report about this year's Grand Council:
First and foremost; CONGRATULATIONS to Dave "Soggydough" Bond for being chosen as Clamper of the Year. It is an honor long overdue him. Dave goes everywhere and helps everyone. Dave is the perfect blend of history, frivolity and fraternity. I've known him for 20 years, and consider him as one the treasures of ECV, as well as my friend.
Now, on to the political news: Our new Sublime Noble Grand Humbug is Ken "Dorsal" Berry, from Lost Dutchman Chapter. The "Nameless" position was filled by Jim Waterman (Chapter 58). The new SGNR is Brian Nash (Billy Holcomb). Three new Proctors were appointed to replace the three "has beens." They are Mike Eckley (Mt. Charlie), Dan McCormick (Doc Maynard) and Greg Simas (Bodie). Greg will be the contact Proctor for PXL.
We have a new Chapter in ECV! James Marshall Chapter was granted their Charter, after many long, hard years of struggle. Their territory is in Amador County and parts of El Dorado County. No news yet on the date and place of their Charter Doin's. Also, there is a group in Montana who has been granted "fledgling outpost" status. That is the first step towards becoming a Chapter. They're calling themselves "The Four Georgians", #4681. There is also a group trying to get some recognition and activity going in the "lesser seen" parts of Nevada. Maybe they will apply for fledgling status next year.
Things were sure different for PXL this year at GC. No tents, no spaghetti or jambalaya, no bar, no flags, etc. They hardly knew we were there at all, with only five of us in attendance (Bond, Charles, No-Eye, Captain America and DH). But, we had fun and the store made a few bucks. So, all was well.
Just to elaborate a bit on Dickhead's commentary. Yeah, PXL has had a greater Grand Council presence in past years, and yes we do need to beef it up where we can, but no one can complain about the quality of our presence - as in Dave Bond, Charles Topping, Kevn Horton, Dale Turner and Gene Duncker.
So let me brag a bit on Dave Bond, because he's one of our own. Many of you know him as that quiet guy in the little white pick-up truck. He is a friendly and generous man. If he sees that you've had a rough night, he's the first one to offer you a cup of coffee. Though Dave travels all over Clamperdom, he's a Lebeckian Brother who rarely misses a PXL Clampout even though he has to drive down all the way from San Francisco to join us. And though Dave was Humbug of YB1 back in 1997, he never puts on airs.
As most of you know, I've been taking picture of all your ugly mugs for some years now, but the truth is that some of you guys just seem more photogenic than others. One of my favorite subjects is Dave Bond, probably because when I get to post production something about his images always seem to say, "No matter how stressful life can be, life is still good." A relaxed slouch and hands in pockets; when I see Dave doing the "Soggy Shuffle" I know things are going to be all right. Congratulations on being named "Clamper of the Year," Dave, you truly deserve it.
Gene's comment about how few of us, both Graybears and non-Graybeards, showed up to Grand Council also brought to mind our friend and mentor, Kenny Young, whom I think had a lot to do with our past attendance.
Some of you never got to know our Clampcook Emeritus, Kenny "Cookie" Young. He served as our Humbug in 1985 and 2000, and in later years, became quite a fixture at Grand Council. PXL would set up in a prominent spot, with our awnings and trailers and bar, and Kenny would cook up a big pot of spaghetti back in the days before hospitality became a "thing." Hungry brothers and their Widders could count on Cookie's Friday Night pot of spaghetti. The tip jar was out, but no one was turned away.
In 2008, Cookie came down with cancer. It was his last year on this side of the Golden Hills, but it was also the year he had been elected to the "Committee of One," which -- but for his health -- obligated Cookie to make a report to the Dumbillican Brotherhood on Grand Council weekend. No one would have criticized him had he chosen to stay home, but Cookie was a committed Clamper; and as sick as he was Kenny Young made the trip to Sonora, made his report, and with the help of Dickhead and others, served up that free spaghetti one last time. No one who knew our Cookie passed up the opportunity to say goodbye, and a few days later he left us having done what he loved to do. So, yah, if we take Kenny as a benchmark and as an example, there should be more of us at Grand Council next year.
Now on to news of the Spring Doin's!
First of all congratulations to our new members, Al Price, Andre Villaseñor and Scott Gow, and to our Hangman Brian "B-Dog" Fox who did a great job shepherding his flock into enlightenment. As PBCs, our FNGs pitched in cheerfully from the time they arrived. There wasn't a pissy guy in the bunch. Even Dickhead remarked that this was the first time he had three guys in the kitchen who actually knew how to cook and understood the magical significance of Teflon.
B-Dog's hard work and creativity also shone through in the comic performance of his PBCs as we kicked off the our Graybeards' Examination. Both a sense of camaraderie and humor is expected of anyone who is initiated at PXL, and Brian was able to impart that spirit to his charges in a way that will benefit all of us for many years to come. Clamping is no place for guys who can't laugh at themselves or take a joke at their own expense, and Al, Andre and Scott all were able to inhabit that spirit. They also worked well together, often suggesting themselves where they could help whenever they saw something that needed to get done.
I know you've heard me say this before, and the theory behind it really comes from Dickhead, but an initiation is both a teaching and a learning experience, and it's a one shot deal. It's why we give a history lesson and why we let the PBCs chill with us until we put them to work in earnest at 5 a.m. on Saturday Morning. If we roll them around in the mud, then what leaves an impression is that ECV is about rolling guys around in the mud; but if we instead let them experience who we are, and then show them what is expected of them, we've made a better use of our time together. We are going to get a better fit, and hopefully a better Clamper who gets what we're about. Other chapters do it differently, and I'm not saying that they are wrong, but that's how we do it here. Congrats again to B-Dog and the new Brothers. Youse dun gud.
So, soapbox aside, here are the highlights from the Doin's.
Despite the fact that there were four other doin's going on that weekend, we still had over 50 guys show up, and it proved to be a very pleasant and laid back experience. The weather for Walker Basin really was as advertised. Not too cold at night, not too hot during the day, beautiful blue skies, a light breeze and plenty of fresh air - all of which encouraged plenty of shenanigans. For this one Charles tried to go nontraditional, substituting the usual Clamper beans for baked potatoes cooked over hot coals in cast iron Dutch ovens.
While this made Clampchef Timbo's life much easier, it also sparked the first ever "Great Bean Rebellion of 6019." When XNGH Bob Cordes learned that this would be a "no bean event," he opined as to how in over thirty-five years of Clamping he had never heard of such a thing. Cookie and Cordes's dad would be spinning in their graves. "Oh the humanity!" etc., etc. So a bean recon was launched, and off to town went Cordes and Kenton "Airdale" Miller.
As it turned out, the bean expedition proved at most mildly successful. The only practical thing that the rebels were able to find were a few cans of precooked legumes. Nevertheless, the chapter's honor had been saved, and there was at least a few beans (with catsup) available to pour over the sausage sandwiches served as part of Saturday's lunch. The chapter had been saved from the ignominious fate of a no bean Clampout. Honor and memory were served -- Huzzah!
By the way, the baked potatoes were delicious. So thanks, Charles.
Then there was the matter of the Yucca-off, won by our Brother Kyle "Hoss" Callaway, with his non-traditional coconut and fruit based yucca. As it turned out yours truly also produced two fine but more traditional specimens, but they ended up losing to Hoss's concoction.
The trouble began when our celebrity Yucca Judge failed to arrive on Friday. When the Yucca-off didn't occur as scheduled, I assumed it was never going to happen so I took out my jars and began traveling with them up and down the Clampsite. It was during this little expedition that I ran into Hoss, Nick and B-Dog at their camp, and Hoss's Yucca also joined the parade. Well, by the time we made it back to the cook shack the shaking and the sharing had become a veritable, full-on, Yucca Explosion throughout the Doin's.
And that's when I ran into Charles, who informed me that he had decided to postpone the Yucca-off until Saturday Night. When I told him he was too late and that the Yucca was gone, he handed me the awards and told me to go ahead and pick a winner. Now faced with a full-on CONFLICT OF INTEREST, I had no choice but to disqualify myself, and that's how I lost the contest. So congratulations to Hoss, and as they say on Iron Chef, I'll meet you again in next year's "Battle Yucca."
Saturday's Clamping activities were also memorable (which as Charles would remind us, is an oxymoron).
Dale Turner presented Charles Topping with a plaque that he and two Brother Clampers had rescued from the site of the 1991 De la Guerra y Pacheco, inaugural Doin's. The land was being sold, and the plaque would likely have been cannibalized for its scrap value. So with the permission of the property owner, Dale and his two Red Shirted Marine Veteran Brothers, "Wild Bill" Maker and John "Duke" DuMong, rescued the plaque.
It's an impressive piece that celebrates both the chartering of 1.5, and it's territorial claim which is cast along its edges and reads, "Westerly to the Sandwich Iles with Floating Whang #8 1846 - South of the Brethren in Yerba Buena Chapter 1 1852 - To the East, Peter LeBec, Chapter 1866 - North of our Brethren of Platrix, Chapter 2." At the top left corner, a miner and jackass prominently featured in high relief, and along the bottom right hand edge, in tiny letters, is the name of the plaque's designer, "TOPPING." Yes, that would be our Charles Topping.
And that's a big chunk of what went on, but none of this gets done without a lot of help. So at this point let me abbreviate the rest of my report and demonstrate that we really are a class outfit. On behalf of the chapter, I'd like to thank Jayne Hotchkiss-Price, Al Price's Widder, for allowing us to Clamp on her ranch. Fred "Flintstone" Fenski and Dave "Boulder" Staley, the Boys from Bedrock, and everybody who contributed to the Flying Circus, as usual stepped up and did a great job assembling and repacking our kit. Sorry that you didn't get the commemorative tokens that I promised but I will make it up to you. Also much thanks to everyone who bought something from our hard working Hawker, Kevn "No Eye Horton, at the PXL Store, and to everyone who contributed or helped out with the raffle. Carlos Lemus, Sr., Carlos "Loaf" Lemus and Mario "Tattoo" Orellana gave up some chill time to hawk raffle tickets; and XNGH Bob "CCF" Clemensson most generously contributed the "C" Note that was the featured raffle prize of the evening.
Andy "Stagecoach" Vilapando and Nick "Basco" Muniozguren, were our Vigilantes, and Kevin "Yeti" Oviatt and Luis Bouza worked as both our grill and raffle masters. Luis and Bob "Baby Booey" Hernandez, helped with photography, and if you didn't smile you'll be very, very sorry 'cuz we took a lot of friggin' pitchurs. Of course Gene with the history lesson, Joe with the canopies. Cordes and Airdale towed the barbeque. Hoss offered his place to store our kit. And hey? If I left you out it isn't that I don't love you. After all, we are Brothers, aren't we?
The point is, it takes a lot of help from our Brothers to go Clamping, and our guys are doing a marvelous job. Feel free to help out because it's most appreciated and always welcome, and thank you to all who made our Doin's a success.
Now before I move on, I do want to mention our new improved bar. And while you are all aware that the chapter does not provide alcohol, we have something new and very unique going on at PXL. I can't mention it here, but you can see it by going to Peter's Picture Pages and checking out the 571 photos I've posted from the PXL Spring Doin's. If there are particular ones that you'd like to have, just drop me an email and I'll send them to you. You can then upload them to your local Costco, Walmart or drug store and make prints big enough to frame poster size if you'd like. Most of these are just snaps but I also came away with some very nice portraits of you and your friends.
Now on to news of the Charles. Some of you have written me to complain about the way our Humbug, Charles Topping summarily dismissed our deposed Clamps Hotrix, Sutter Brown and replaced him with a human being. Now I've heard from Sutter, and he's aware of your concerns, but Sutter has moved on to bigger and better things having now gotten a job as a Corgi Spokesdog and K-9 fashion model. He sends his regards but we won't be seeing him again anytime soon. He wishes us all the best and only asks that we pee on Charles's leg the next time we see him.
Speaking of decisiveness, Charles continues to work on the Fall Doin's which will be in the Kernville area on a date yet to be determined, but hopefully will be determined soon. His fall plans are still focused on the Ardis Walker House, but it appears that the location is embroiled in a dispute over how to spend its endowment and how best to preserve the Walker Collection of historical documents and memorabilia, including whether to build a separate facility on a nearby lot. As I've laid out here before in greater detail, Walker was an engineer, journalist and important local political figure, as well as a Clamper. Plaquing the Walker House would be a great way of commemorating one of our own, but due to issues beyond our control, there is a good chance that it may not get done this year. Check back here for further developments.
And finally an update on two of our favorite guys. You likely noticed the absence from our Spring Doin's of PXL XNGH Jim Adams and of our defending Yucca Champion, Brother Mikey "Maggot" Ralles. Well both of them had some pretty good excuses for not showing up.
Jim underwent spinal surgery about three weeks ago to alleviate some serious compression issues. Jim's surgeon is very pleased with our ex-Humbug's progress, and Jim has been out walking up to three miles a day with a cane assist. Our stalwart friend asked me to "Tell all the guys I'm doing OK, and I'll be seeing them soon!" And I'm sure Phoebe won't mind loaning him to us for a weekend especially if Bob Clemensson is around. Clampers tend to create their own man clutter when they stay too long in one place.
As for Mikey Maggot, he's been a constant for us. We missed him and his wife, Carol as far back as the Widders' Ball, but not for trivial reasons. Mike spent seven months in the hospital and was just released last week. The unexpected bone infection in his foot is gone, but Maggot is noticeably shorter on one side. I told Mikey that I wouldn't go into too much detail, but it was quite an ordeal, and Carol is relieved to finally have him back home. Given the progress of his ongoing therapy, Maggot is also hoping to see us in the fall. He says he really needs a good Clamp with his Brothers at PXL.
Jim and Maggot represent the good natured side and brotherly spirit of our Order. Whenever you see them next, don't pass up the opportunity to greet them. Accept their camaraderie and share yours with them. You will be a better person for it.
As Amended - 05.28.14 -- By MGM
OK. So it's been four weeks, but I'll have a new report up very soon. In the meantime the pictures are up. So enjoy. Just head for Peter's Picture Pages and click on the appropriate link. Make sure to refresh the page if you don't see the links to the Spring Doin's Galleries. I've posted 571 photos so if your mug isn't in there somewhere, you must have missed it!
As Amended - 05.01.14 -- By MGM
Hello Brothers! Well the Doin's is here and the prepay discount window has come and gone, but if you'd still like to come on up and join us at the Rockin' JA Ranch, you are welcome to drop-in starting Thursday morning at 10 a.m. If you haven't prepaid, and you still intend to come, we won't turn you away but we would appreciate a head's up so we can include you in the count. Since firearms are forbidden at Clampout, the last thing our cook crew wants to do is to go hunting for coyote haunches using bows and arrows just to feed you. Remember,there are no minimarts, Burger Kings or 7-11's within an hour of where we are clamped, so please do us the courtesy if you can of letting us know you are coming by dropping us a line at Spring14registration@ECV1866.org. On the other hand, if the ol' lady has thrown you out, you've got but one tank's worth of gas to spare and you need a place to lick your wounds, then we are your Number One weekend destination.
Sorry, we may be ugly, and you'll probably think we smell bad by the end of the Doin's -- but we're still your Brothers.
So here's the weekend update from Dickhead Weather Central, with a caveat. (That's lawyer talk for "what I'm about to say doesn't mean anything.") Thursday is expected to be partly cloudy improving to sunny skies through the weekend, with daytime highs in the mid-80's and nighttime lows in the low-50's. Expect mild winds with occasional gusts up to 25 MPH. Just bear in mind that we are camping in the mountains, and while rain is unlikely, it can get cold and suddenly windy, so plan to dress accordingly. Burn barrels will be allowed provided you rake the area before hand and keep a bucket of water handy to take care of business.
Also keep in mind that we will be out of cell range, however in the event of an emergency your Widder can reach you by calling the Ranch House Phone at 661-867-2414. Our host, Jayne Hotchkiss-Price will make sure our Humbug relays the message to you so you can call your Widder back.
Posted - 04.22.14 -- By MGM
Hello fellow Cloggites, and welcome back to the PXL Clog. Well you knew it was coming and now it's finally here -- my harangue about signing up for the Spring Doin's, that is. Our deadline is this Friday, April 25th. So if you haven't mailed in your rub or signed-up through the internet, what are you waiting for? You're about to miss out on the most fun you can have with your pants on this side of Tulare County. (Just don't ask me what they do fully clothed on the other side of Tulare 'cuz I'm still looking for my pants.)
So for those of you who haven't gotten it done, your friends here at PXL continue to make it easy for you to sign up. Just take both hands, pull up your chonies and then click on the Spring Doin's link to get started. You'll figure it out. By the way, that's Brother Ron "Finley" Woodworth from LSD #3, who volunteered his services as the Clamp Velocity Gnome. He doesn't mess around so you'd better take his advice seriously because in real life he's the Easter Bunny and that's not a life form to be trifled with.
And now that I've veered into the land of "TMI," let's talk a little bit about the Doin's. This one is going to be super special. The Clampsite opens up on Thursday for your Clamping convenience. We'll have porta potties and wash stations available, but bring water because this is a dry camp. Friday begins in earnest with Dickhead's Seafood Jambalaya for dinner followed by our Third "1st Annual" Yucca-off. So bring you fixxin's, start a shakin' and be prepared to share because Yucca Sensei Dave "Warthog" Otero is on deck as the evening's celebrity judge.
As usual there will be plenty of camaraderie on Friday Night, but please, no harassing the cattle or the PBCs, both groups being our guests for the evening. If you're bringing a Poor Blind Candidate please make sure that he has his bribe, history presentation and the latest version of our PBC Handbook engraved on the back side of his eyelids. Remember . . . there are consequences for those who fail to comply, but those are the rules and they're intended to make sure that a good time is had by all. Our PBC initiation begins early Saturday Morning and PBCs must be sober to participate.
And don't forget. Pitching in on Friday Morning's Official Clampsite Erection or Sunday Morning's Teardown earns you membership in Petey's Flying Circus. So please join in the fun. Look for Brothers Fred Fenski and Dave Staley for directions and make sure to stick around to collect your badge of honor.
And now on to some more serious sh*, shh*, shh*…uh, stuff.
First of all, it is with great sadness that we announce the sudden passing to the Golden Hills of our Brother Bob "Barbarosa" Haines, a member of our chapter and order who made us all proud. Bob will be remembered prior to the Hall of Comparative Ovations at our upcoming Doin's. He was initiated at Peter Lebeck in 1992, and went on to found the Snake River Chapter in Idaho which was chartered in 2012. Bob's diligence, perseverance and generosity were in the best Clamper tradition, and he left a great example for all of us to follow. Gene Duncker, who sponsored Barbarosa, had this to say about him:
Twenty-two years ago I sponsored Bob Haines into PXL and gave him the name "Barbarosa." Bob was my neighbor, a great friend and one of the best Brothers in all of ECV. When he moved to Idaho, he became the ramrod for the Snake River Outpost and their first Humbug when they got their charter a few years ago.
Today, April 6, 2014, Bob went on to the Golden Hills after suffering a massive stroke a few days ago. He was only 62 years. I may have f*cked-up a lot, but I know I did a good thing when I sponsored Bob. His funeral will be at the VA Cemetery in Boise at 3 p.m. on the 17th, and at 4 p.m. there will be a gathering at Sully's Bar in Star, Idaho. If you would like to send a remembrance address it to: Snake River Chapter, ECV P. O. Box 1002 Boise, Idaho 83701.
God bless and keep you, Brother!
Let us all wish Barbarosa Godspeed on his journey through the Golden Hills.
Now for a plaquing update. If you've been faithfully reading the CLOG then you already know that Humbug Charles Topping has proposed two plaques for his tenure: One for the summer and one for the fall, and both proposed for the Kern River Valley. What you probably don't know is that Charles and his Vice Humbug Jim Bailey have also been working hard to establish connections with other groups in the San Joaquin Valley that share our interest in preserving the history of Kern County.
To that end, on April 3rd, Charles and Jim met with the Kern County Historical Society, a long established group with which we have successfully collaborated in the past. During the late 70's and early 80's PXL and KCHS jointly mounted several of the erections pictured on our plaquing pages, and collaborating on monuments with the KCHS is something we'd like to do again in the future.
From all indications the meeting went very well. Charles and Jim's presentation focused on reacquainting the society's membership with Peter Lebeck, E Clampus Vitus and our past work with the historical society. The guys also let the members know that as a chapter we are very interested in collaborating with KCHS on future projects, particularly in the Bakersfield area. Jim says that Brother Charles's silver tongue and knowledge of Clamping really made our presentation shine and that we should hear back from KCHS soon after its new officers are in place. So here's to reestablishing connections with old friends!
Next up, Brother Jim is working on a meeting with the Basque Club and an altogether different get together with an association interested in preserving the history of Kern County oil. No doubt the plaquing possibilities are going to be good for Jim's Humbug year, so let's all look forward to helping both Charles and Jim with their upcoming constructions. For as they say in Clamperdom, "If you're not plaquing, you're not Clamping."
Our Spring Doin's will also mark the official roll-out of "Petey's Power & Light." As many of you are aware our old gas powered generator finally died during our fall 2013 Doin's. Hole, our resident electrician and nuclear power expert, had been anticipating the problem for some time and had pitched the notion of downsizing or possibly even doing away with our gas generator altogether by upgrading to solar powered LED lighting. We already have a sound system that runs off of batteries so no problem there, and going to LED would allow us to ditch the florescent light fixtures, gas cans and a whole lot of two-cycle engine noise. Even if we ultimately had to include a generator in our kit, we could do a lot better than that old noisy behemoth that existed on what looked like an oversized cafeteria food cart.
So it seemed that the only thing that stood in the way was cost and the conversion of our light-sucking 350-watt coffee urn into a gas fired coffee pot.
Well the debut of Petey's Power and Light has finally arrived. The solution to the coffee pot was literally to stick a sock in it - of course you have to fill the sock with coffee, fill the pot with water and dangle the whole thing over a gas flame - but that part of the problem is now solved. As for upfront costs, we would still very much appreciate a few donated batteries of the appropriate type and size, but with the price of solar panels and rolls of LEDs coming down, we are finally able to go completely solar!
So this is one you are absolutely going to have to celebrate. It's even better than Hole's debut of PXL's electric bar at GC. You'll be telling generations of Clampers for many years to come just where you were when the light went on at Peter Lebeck. And you'll definitely have to tell your Widder that you just can't miss this doin's or the shame will be upon you for missing the lights. Yes, Brother! This is our time!
On the other hand if you can't make it, you certainly can help make up for your absence because we will soon be debuting our new PXL Wish List Page. This one always seem to occur to us after tax time but Peter Lebeck is a recognized 501(C)(3) charity which entitles you to a tax deduction for donations of money or goods that you make in support of the chapter. It's the same as that saw buck you drop in the collection plate on Sunday.
But since by custom we do not pass the plate at Clampouts, except for extraordinary causes, we have decided to create a Wish List Page where, when the time comes, you can remember us as one of your regular charities. The chapter always has some capital project or doodad that we would like to acquire to make us more effective, and it only make sense that we tell you about it so you can see where your donation is going. Those batteries I mentioned are only one example, but as our chapter expands and our kit ages we'll need extra dust to keep abreast of the times and to attract new members.
Speaking of which, Charles has approved the purchase of a new gas-fired Clamping griddle. Think crispier bacon for starters, but if the first one works out we'll likely put a second one on the Wish List. With the possibility of French Toast for breakfast and tacos for lunch, PXL may become a regular "Cordon Rouge."
Fans of Sutter Brown will be disappointed to learn that Jerry Brown's best friend has been unceremoniously dumped by our Humbug, Charles Topping, who has named Dale Turner to replace Sutter as our incoming 2014 Clamps Hostrix - not that it was much of a contest. Sutter is short. Dale is tall. Dale is sartorially splendid, while Sutter can lick his own …. Um, well maybe it was a much tougher call than we first thought, but in any case we do wish Sutter all the best as he heads out the doggie door, while we want to let Dale know that he deserves whatever happens next.
Seriously folks, Dale, aka "Captain America," is a solid addition to our list of Clampfunctionaries. He has been a Clamper since 2006, served in Viet Nam with the United States Marine Corps, and retired after 33 years with the LAPD as a Sergeant having been decorated with the department's highest award - the Medal of Valor. Dale's children are grown so he's ready to go Clamping in serious fashion. His experience working with volunteer organizations, keeping books and drafting procedural documents are skills that can benefit our chapter particularly as our officer corps continues to mature. So please welcome Dale. He's only been with us for a couple of years, but whatever you can do to get him completely immersed in the PXL Culture will benefit us all.
Lastly, a contingent from Peter Lebeck went up to the John A. Sutter Chartering this past April 3-6, 2014, at Nelson's Grove outside of Sacramento. A chartering is a rare and special event in ECV and anytime you have the opportunity to attend you can consider yourself extremely lucky. Clampers in good standing who attend are awarded charter membership, and you can expect to meet the most active and vivacious men from all over Clamperdom at an outing like this. Whether you made it or not, I've posted about 200 photos from the Sutter Doin's on the outies portion of Peter's Picture Pages. Make sure to drop by and have a look. Thanks again to Humbug Russ "Christ" Holder for his hospitality and congratulations again to the Brothers at Sutter for their elevation from outpost to full charter membership for John A. Sutter #1841.
As for the rest of you, see you in a few days up at the Rockin' JA Ranch. Just remember to bring your long johns 'cuz there's no Walmart in Walker Basin and the coyotes don't take American Express.
Posted 3.17.14 - By MGM
You know they really don't celebrate Saint Patrick's Day in Ireland like we do here in America. Think about it for a moment. Who the heck is going to waste their time dying the Guinness green when it's already a perfectly good shade of brown and ready for Cinco de Mayo?
So we here at PXL recommend that you buy whatever brand suits your faux Irish fancy, and then do as much CLOG Dancing as befits the season. When you are tired (and unless you have the abs of Michael Flately why wouldn't you be?) just keep reading down into the page to accept our invitation to the Peter Lebeck's 2014 Spring Doin's. We've got food. We've got fun. And we got every cow within 50 mile excited when we told them you were coming.
So please check us out. Postmark your rub by April 20th, or make sure it's in our hand by April 25th. Either way, it's the most fun you can have with your pants on (unless the Brothers find a better use for your pants, so make sure you bring an extra pair).
To get to the Doin's Page just click here!--MGM
Posted 3.11.14 - By MGM
Hello Brother Cloggites, and welcome back to the PXL CLOG. It's been awhile since our last post, so we have quite a bit of catching up to do. I'll try to keep it neat, but you know how mouthy lawyers can be. It's even worse than usual because I just came up for air after spending five weeks in front of a jury. Imagine spending five weeks working in front of twelve strangers and not even being allowed to say hello? So you'll have to forgive me if I start to drivel a bit about the Spring Doin's, our recent Widders' Ball and Charles's plans for the years, but it's all good so here we go.
First up is the Spring Doin's which will be at the Rockin' JA Ranch in Walker Basin, May 1-4th. The Clampground opens Thursday at 10 a.m. for those who want to get an early start. Traditional set up begins on Friday morning and PXL's famous feed bag begins on Friday night starting with Dickhead's Cajun Seafood Jambalaya followed by our "Third 'First Annual Yucca-off.'" And remember, at PXL we do feed you well all weekend, so get ready for a stellar gathering of one of the friendliest chapters in all of Clamperdom. Bring a PBC, bring your Binky, bring your blanky, and don't forget to bring your own adult libations because PXL does not provide alcohol, though there always seems to be plenty of brothers willing to share. And if you want to get a look at how much fun we have at our Doin's just make sure to check out Peter's Picture Pages for photos from last fall's Clampout at Rankin Ranch.
We also want to make sure that everyone is on alert that the date of our Spring Doin's has shifted a bit from our usual last weekend in April. While there are fewer ECV chapters in our part of the state than there are up north, that weekend almost always seems to conflict with someone else's Doin's even in our own neck of the woods. This year it was hard to move the date up because of Easter (Who wants to step on Jesus?), and it was hard to move the date down because of Grand Council. So Charles decided to go with the first weekend in May. I'm sure it will make the workers of the world a bit wobbly when they hear that PXL is stepping on May Day, and our apologies to Billy Holcomb (and our Brother Sid) for forcing their members to make a tough choice between going to their own Doin's or to ours, but a little rotation was in order this year and so our choice will give our Brothers from 1.5 and Platrix a fair chance to check us out.
As usual we have put together a number of webpages to sucker you into joining us. We have a Doin's clampsite page, another for our Humbug's Invite, and, of course, our nifty electronic flyer page where you can check out the schedule, get directions, and peruse vital instructions about our initiation for you and your PBC. You can even download a pristine copy of Dickhead's Infallible Fillable Flyer and prepay using Paypal. Just make sure that your rub is in our hands by April 25, 2014 - no exceptions -- or it's $10 more and you end up in the chow line behind all the prepays.
Now on to news of the Ball! Our 53rd Annual Widders' Ball was a great success. Charles Topping was passed the Staff of Relief by outgoing Humbug Russ Chapman. No body parts were wacked, probed or damages in the making of our new Humbug, though we still have plenty of time for that. So congratulations to Charles and our most sincere condolences to his Widder Pat, who apart from being a very classy lady has always been a very good sport. Pat, we'll take Charles on loan, and with any luck you should get him back at next year' Widders' Ball in only a somewhat used condition.
Attendance was up again, though we didn't hit our stated limit of 100 partygoers. At 97 attendees we did get close enough that there is talk of moving the evening's festivities into a party tent where we can accommodate more people and treat the ladies to a red carpet experience and a longer night of dancing. As you'll see from the pictures, this year's revelers really were a very civilized crowd -- except for all the guys in the redshirts. On the other hand the boys do tend to clean up well and seemed to be on their best behavior around our Widders, so all is good.
We also handed out a few awards, so let's congratulate our winners: Kathy Chapman was voted Widder of the Year by our Graybeards. She and Russ (aka XNGH Hole), made significant contributions to the chapter, both in terms of time and money, during the 2013 Clampyear. The Chapman's hosted a major work party at their acreage in Atascadero as well as the Clamperwide, "Widders not in Labor Day," event. But most of all Kathy put up with Russ, whom she personally nick-named "Hole" for reasons that can't be repeated in front of the kids. And if you really think about it, being the Humbug's Widder really is a big deal because I'm sure we have Brothers who would very much like to work their way up to Humbug but can't expect a whole lot of warm gooey moments at home once they broach the subject. Congratulations again to Kathy Chapman, and thanks again for your generous support.
Pat Topping won for Best Dressed Widder in her crimson satin dress with black feathered boa. Marti Charter, last year's Widder of the Year, won for best period costume for her blue iridescent gown and black chapeau don't-cha-no. Sandi Weissenbach won for styling in her red saloon girl outfit, and Luis Bouza won for Best Dressed Dude, though I still think we should have made him strut his stuff and do the Limbo, just on principle, before giving him the award.
In the Raffle Category, Brandi Muniozguren Bailey won the $300 Widders' Grand Prize, and Luis Bouza won the Clamper Grand Prize of free admission to both of our 2014 Clampouts and two tickets to next year's Widders' Ball (or was it Jannina who won and Luis who'll need the kitchen pass to go? Inquiring minds want to know … so stay tooned).
As for those long awaited pictures. This time you get your choice of displays. I've posted HTML and FLASH galleries on Peter's Picture Pages and I've mounted a YouTube slideshow on the Clampdown Page. None of these come with music unless you're willing to hum it yourself, but each format has an advantage. HTML is low bandwidth and plays on any device; Flash is good on desk tops and more nimble, but doesn't work on some cell phones; and YouTube eats up the most data but lets you see the pictures in HiDef and in full screen mode if you favor a whole lot of purdy and a whole lot of ugly all at the same time.
Thanks again to VNGH Jim Bailey and his staff for their hospitality at the Homewood Suites. They were as gracious as ever and I'd encourage you to contact Hilton and give them Kudos for their performance.
Now on to Charles's plans for the 2014 Clampyear, which are on full display on our Humbug's Page. The gist of it is that he is planning two Clampouts, a trip to Grand Council and two erections in the Kern River Valley Area. He'll need our help to get this accomplished, so I encourage all of you to set aside the time to come on up and help, particularly if you haven't worked on an erection before. I know most of you will deny knowing what I'm talking about, but I know your mothers who dutifully washed your socks can put the lie to that one. Somehow redshirts and erections are just a natural match, so I expect to see more of you this summer, especially our officers and functionaries. And just in case you don't know who's to blame, I've posted their mug shots and contact information on the officers' page for 2014.
Lastly, someone asked me about the backside of beer, whose meaning, to answer you truthfully, I do not know. That's not to say that I haven't admired more than my share of backsides. Some fermented on top, some fermented from the bottom, and some had more positions than a White House intern in a blue dress. Pilsners, porters, ales, stouts, lagers, IPAs, wheat beers, bocks, and that trollope known as "light beer." They all need more serious contemplation, so my suggestion is that we adjourn for now, then meet up at the Rockin'JA in a few weeks for a more flavor-filled discussion. 'Til then!
For more information contact:
Mark "Pokey" Crawford, NGH (661) 993-7907 or Crawford562@Yahoo.com
Kevn "No Eye" Horton, VNGH (661) 472-0414 or ThePXLstore@yahoo.com
Al "The Quack" Price, Clampatriarch (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org
- Clog Closet Last Archived June 1, 2019