Welcome to the CLOG Closet
The News Archive of Peter Lebeck
Kern County Chapter of E Clampus Vitus ®
MINUS 1 - From Fall'18 Doin's Wrap-up
Posted 10.7.18 -- By MGM
Pardon the mess while I revamp the website. In the meantime, check out the Fall Doin's photos, with more to come. Thanks to all who made it up to Taft for a little Penny Bar Hyjinx. It was a most memorable and satisfactory time. Check back here for details on our upcoming end of the year meeting, and what ever you do, don't miss the Widders' Ball coming in January. See you there! --MGM
Posted 9.17.18 -- By MGM
The prepay window is now closed, but you are still welcome to attend. it's just going to cost you an extra $15, whether you use PayPal or pay at the gate. If you weren't able to prepay, please, at least drop us a line at Registration@ECV1866.org to let us know you're coming. Ribeyes don't grow on trees, and even if they did, there aren't too many trees in Taft. Avoid the snipe hunting, and let us know you're coming. Read on for further details. See you there! --MGM
Posted 9.15.18 -- By MGM
Don't forget! Penny Bar Hyjinx, our 2018 Fall Doin's, is next weekend. While yesterday was the last day to mail in your rub and get the $15 prepay discount, you still have through this weekend to have your way with us. You don't even have to lie. Who cares if your dog ate the mailman or Fido bit you on your way to the mail box? We certainly don't, because you have through Sunday night to use our PayPal portal to fork over your rub. After that it's fifteen more, on the net or at the door!
Just click on this link to our registration page to sign-up and get 'er done. Early arrivals are welcome starting Thursday noon. While the feed bag doesn't officially go on until Friday afternoon with the Humbug's Meet 'n' Greet, we'll have a hot grill going late Thursday so you can barbeque what you brought. So if you can make it up early, bring a little extra to share with the Brothers and get ready to hear some outrageous lies being told around the grill.
Dickhead Weather Central is forecasting sunny skies for our doin's in Taft, CA. Bring plenty of shade and water. Highs will be in the upper 80's with evening lows about 60 degrees throughout the weekend.
The Humbug wants to remind us (but since he hasn't, I will) that the garbage man out at Taft thinks he's Joaquin Murrieta. Consequently, the dumpsters are pretty much just for the kitchen. If you bring it in, make sure you pack it out. Also we'll be driving out to McKittrick for the plaque dedication about luch time on Saturday. Just seeing the Penny Bar is a real treat, but the food is excellent. If you stay in clamp, the Humbug will still feed you his fat weenies, but if you venture out, bring a little extra dust for a meal at the Penny Bar and you'll be stylin'.
To learn more, just keep reading down the CLOG, then click here to go to the Fall Doin's Page. See you there!
Posted 8.28.18 -- By Dale "Top" Turner and NGH Myrl "Doc" Wallace
Greeting Brothers, I start off on a sad note. Our beloved Clamp Dog "Jack" has trotted off to the Golden Hills. His master, XNGH Russ "Hole" Chapman, laid our intrepid friend to rest under a mulberry tree, with the pup fully dressed in his doggie vest and Clamper pins. Many a good tale will be told around the Clampfire about that old dog. He wasn't called "Jack the Dingo" for nothing. If you didn't know Jack, well, you didn't know Jack, and you should have come around more often. Our spokesdog would have gladly shared your steak with you.
Speaking of that, we are about four weeks away from our Fall Doin's at Franklin Field Arena in Taft. The Porta Potties, Wash Stations and Trash containers have been ordered and paid for. The Chuck Wagon has been washed, propane tanks filled and a couple of PXL Stickers placed on the trailer door. Many thanks to Rick "Hardluck" Veiga, Calvin "Dr. Klapper" Swanson, Paul "Ragman" Gleim and Frank "Two Time" Webster for getting the chuck wagon ready for the Fall Clampout.
Our Vice Noble Grand Humbug Al "The Quack" Price has been busy getting things in order for the Doin's. He's already picked up some items for the Saturday night raffle. He reminds brothers that if you have something they you can no longer live with or the Widder wants out of the house, you should think about donating it to the auction table. But please, no junk.
Registrations for the Fall Doin's are slow in coming in. Perhaps the Spring Doin's, at the Kern County Fairgrounds, spoiled everyone with the flush toilets, grass area and hook ups. We need to look at the bright side of where we are headed. There is more to this Clampsite than sand. The Taft Oil Museum is just a few blocks away where you can behold the great PXL Plaque that we put up three years ago. If you are coming in on Thursday the town of Taft has some great eating spots and watering holes just a few blocks away. Don't let a little sand and sun keep you from enjoying a weekend with your fellow Clampers. Get your Registration and Rub in today.
IMPORTANT PBC INFO: We need the Names, registration/waiver and Rub for all the PBC's by the 4th of September. This will allow us to the time needed to get their sheepskins printed. Please call our Grand Noble Recorder, Mark "Pokey" Crawford, at (661) 993-7907. He can help you with the paperwork and the PBC handbook.
A Message from Humbug Myrl "Doc" Wallace:
The VNGH has been in touch with the garbage people in Taft. Yes, there are garbage people in Taft, but they are not easily pleased, and we have unfortunately discovered that all of their trash bins are coated in GOLD. Consequently we are requisitioning only three 300 gallon receptacles, which means that all the trash that we create needs to be carted out on Sunday - by mule if necessary!
The three bins that we are getting are primarily for the cook shack. I know that cooking won't take up that much space, but we need to be aware of the consequences. You bring it in. You take it out! Anyone have any comments? Please let me know.
The Plaque for the Mckittrick Hotel and Penny Bar has been paid for and shipped. We will be installing the plaque on Tuesday, August 28th, between 1000 & 1100. If you are in the area stop by and offer a few words of encouragement.
Back to Dale…
The "Saturday Clamper Get Away" continues to be a great way for ECV Brothers from several of our chapters to get together, socialize and network for a couple of hours over a cold one and a hot dog. We average about 15-18 Clampers and have had as many as thirty on occasion.
Our next Clamper Get Away will be held on Saturday, September 8th, starting at 12 noon, at the Santa Clarita Elks Lodge 2379, 17766 Sierra Highway, Canyon Country 91351.
Well Brothers that is about it. Until next time, be well and have a Satisfactory week.
Posted 6.10.18 -- By MGM
It's been awhile since we last clamped in the desert. Humbug "Doc" Wallace offered to hire some trees but we demurred. You see, Kern is a big place and we go where the plaquing need to be done. Besides, it's not like we're Holcomb or anything. We have seen trees within recent memory. The Mesozoic Age didn't help with that tree thing, though it did give us a whole lot of oil. Which is why, for our Fall '18 Clampout, we're headed to west Kern oil country for a very special Fall Doin's.
Come Thursday, September 20. 2018, the Brothers of Peter Lebeck will be clamping at the Franklin Field Arena in Taft for a weekend event we're calling, "Penny Bar Hijinks." And while we can't offer trees and shade on this trip, we can give you a spot of flat, sandy ground and all the amenities that Taft has to offer.
In fact Franklin Field Arena is located about a mile from the center of town where supplies are easy to get, and about a mile from the West Kern Oil Museum which was one of the subjects of PXL's "Plaquapalooza" in 2015. Whether you've been out this way before or not, you should take advantage of your time in Taft. For starters visiting the oil museum is a great opportunity to learn the area's history from stories and artifacts dating back to the Kern County oil rush of the early 1900's. Relive the Lakeview Gusher, see vintage cars and machinery, and experience what it was like to stand on a real wooden oil derrick like those from the olden days. While at the museum, check out our monument, it's one of three in and around Taft.
So consider yourself invited. You can even show up as early as Thursday noon which will give you plenty of time to forage in and around Taft before we officially kick-off our weekend with Doc's Friday afternoon Meet'n'Greet and our famous Friday night fooding.
For early arrivals we recommend at least one drive out to McKittrick to visit "Mike & Annie's McKittrick Hotel, Penny Bar & Café." No, you can't spend the night there, but you can get breakfast, lunch and dinner. The place is known for its Ribeyes; and its Friday fish and chips served at lunchtime are awesome.
On Saturday we'll be plaquing the place. Built from brick to replace the fire ravaged 1898 Headquarters Hotel, the McKittrick has been in continuous operation since 1903, serving the community in its various incarnations as gathering place, supply depot, general store, and just a good place to stay and eat for the last 115 years.
It's been decades since the McKittrick has taken in any hotel guests, but it survives as a restaurant and bar. Purchased by Mike and Annie Moore in the 1970's, it was Mike and Annie who decided on the penny motif, decorating their establishment with over 1,000,000 tinny effigies of Mr. Lincoln. In its present iteration, the McKittick Hotel, Penny Bar & Café has drawn attention nationwide, and on Saturday we'll be celebrating the uniqueness of this boom town survivor from the days of the oil rush.
So what do you say to a weekend of chillaxing with us? The Brothers of Peter Lebeck are a friendly bunch. And if you haven't been to one of our Doin's, or haven't been in a while, the redshirted regulars will certainly make you feel at home. What's more the price is right. If you prepay, the rub is only $65 per Clamper and $75 per PBC. But to take advantage of this discount your dust must be in by September 14th, and your PBC must be registered by September 7th, so we can make sure he's been properly prepared to face our Hangman, "Barney Trouble" Patterson, and to start the ordeal. Sorry no drop-in PBCs or retreads this trip, though well behaved dogs and burn barrels are welcome.
So what do you get for this miniscule amount of moolah? Well starting Friday afternoon we're going to feed you straight through Sunday morning, beginning with a few snacks on us. We'll kick-off the festivities at 5:03 Friday afternoon with our Humbug's special Meet'n'Greet at the only known Tittie Bar in Clamperdom. While PXL does not provide alcohol, those who bring something to share quickly discover that the stories, whoppers and flat-out lies just flow like Red Eye at a bawdy house. Either way, we guarantee you won't leave a stranger, and if you bring a PBC, he'll experience first-hand why becoming a Clamper is one of the best things that can ever happened to a man. But more on that later.
You also get four hot meals plus a continental breakfast on Sunday. Our Clampchef is the much accomplished Kenton "Airdale" Miller, and for Friday dinner he'll be serving up our Humbug's favorite pasta slathered with Brother "Frankie Pampas" Bergoglio's secret pampas sauce. Then the party continues with Brother Carlos "Spinner" Lemus's karaoke and open mike night. We recommend a few adult libations ahead of time in order to tolerate and participate in this one. It can be really something else and a lot of fun.
Saturday morning you'll want to get up for our Graybeards' Potluck Breakfast. We provide the eggs, you bring us your breakfast meats and other goodies, and our Graybeards and PBC cook crew will whip it up into something yummy. For lunch Airdale will happily stuff fat weenies into fresh buns, just for you; but if you make it out to the dedication at McKittrick, our Humbug highly recommends that you try the fare at the Penny Bar. Just don't over-do because back in Clamp dinner à la Airdale will be your choice of a thick ribeye steak or barbequed chicken with all the fixin's.
As for your PBC, expect him to be treated right. We've taken some criticism for giving up dirty initiations. But we've come to the conclusion that pouring maple syrup, corn flakes or putting cow pies down a guy's shorts really doesn't tell us much about a his character, and may only teach him that we're a bunch of sadistic Adam Henrys and that Clamping is about abuse. Frankly, some of our most cherished members saw way worse "abuse" just preparing to go to Viet Nam, Afghanistan, Iraq or some other place where they were called to serve the nation. Whatever dirt can add to an initiation, it does little to answer the question: Does your friend have what it takes to be a true Brother of ECV?
Our goal at Peter Lebeck is to build a solid but open chapter, one in which we can rely on each other as friends, but also welcome others who might benefit from our camaraderie while also being worthy of our respect.
When you bring someone in at PXL you can expect him to be out of bed by five on Saturday morning to begin earning his red shirt in the traditional way. He'll provide both labor and entertainment, but we're also going to make sure he understands the purpose and value of Clamping. He'll get a solid dose of ECV history and be made to stand and deliver before the assembled brethren to experience the elevation of man.
As his sponsor you will be responsible to make sure your PBC is ready. You'll provide him with a copy of the PBC Handbook, make sure he's prepared a five minute historical presentation to recite before the assembly and has in his possession a sufficient liquid bribe for our board. Not everyone is up to that standard, but if that's too much for him we know where he can earn his shirt by crawling through a "tunnel of luv." Just make sure he's had his shots and is carrying his antibiotics.
Be advised, should your guy make it through our initiation, he'll experience one of the best HOCO's in all of Clamperdom, honchoes by our Royal Clamps Thespian, Brother Dave "Boulder" Staley and performed by his crew of Hollywood stars who are willing to donate their time but prefer to remain anonymous. Sorry, we've told Mel Gibson and Robert Downey, Jr. they'll have to stay home this trip.
If what we're proposing sounds intimidating, it doesn't have to be, we really are a welcoming bunch. As our Clampatriarch Emeritus, Timbo Gillespie likes to say, PXL has room for every kind of guy, all the way "from brain surgeons to drain surgeons." In fact, our members really are a disparate bunch and about half of our members come to us from other chapters because they've found a home with us.
A PXL Clampout likely won't exceed a 100 guys, which means you're never going to feel lost at a Lebeck Doin's. So if you've never been to one of our events, or haven't been for a while, there's no time like the present. We'll even leave the gate open for you. Just go to our registration page to get started. See you in the Arena!
Posted 5.5.18 -- By MGM
On behalf of Humbug Myrl "Doc" Wallace and all the Brethren who made our 2018 Spring Doin's - "Redshirts at the Fair" - a side splitting success, thank you all for your help and attendance. I'm working on getting the website ready for our next event, so don't mind the mess for now. I've also started work on a CLOG update to fill you in on some of the details you may have missed about the chapter's progress, so you'll want to check back soon. If you're on Facebook feel free to post your comments, suggestions, complements, complaints and whatever crosses your mind, to our Facebook page. Just click on the blue icon listed below the navigation box on the left.
But enough of that, let's get on to more pressing concerns. It has been brought to our attention that today is Cinco de Mayo, which makes this "National Mexican Beer Day" -- everywhere - except Mexico. You see in Mexico every day is Mexican Beer Day, which means that for most of the place Cinco de Mayo is no big deal except for those places where they can't get any Mexican beer. You know, Bud, Heineken, Guinness, it's all fine, but it's never really special unless you never get any -- which is what they also say about sex. The entire concept is enough to break a guy down and make him drink Tequila.
Anyway we were looking for an appropriate symbol with which to illustrate our fondness for the culture and the spirit of the holiday but all we could come up with was this old magazine cover. With apologies to Duncan Renaldo and Leo Carillo, this pair on the left doesn't quite cut it. It's not that we have anything against guns or guys in tight pants, mind you. We've even been know to admire a well stanced offensive line, even when the quarterback is under center. But that Cisco in the front looks strangely Italian, and that Pancho in the back we suspect is more dangerous with a barbeque fork than a six-shooter. Just check out where he's sticking that thing. We've even seen him hanging out with Manuel Bean Latin, so while we don't doubt Pancho's authenticity, we'll always be wondering when his forking skills will suddenly employ to tell us that Cisco is done as opposed to only being medium rare. Oh, I do so hate the sight blood, but then again, you gotta admire a guy who's fast on the fork. Here's hoping for the best, and to all a hoppy Cinco de Mayo!
Posted 5.1.18 -- By Doc Wallace, NGH
To all who attended the Peter Lebeck Spring Doin's at the Kern County Fair Grounds I give a large Thank You and SATISFACTORY! We had a number of Brethren from Slim Princess, including a PBC that they were initiating into our chapter, and quite a few from Squibob down San Diego way. I would especially like to thank Alphonso P. Hornblossom, the Sqibob Clampatriarch, for his attendance and his bribe to get into the place. Was quite tasty, as the Brothers will attest. We swelled our membership rolls by six new Suckers. As usual our PBCs were of questionable character and had to be prodded constantly to perform the Doin's Tasks in a Satisfactory manner. But they somehow prevailed and managed to make it through the trials and tribulations needed to earn their Red Shirts. We also brought in new associates from Squibob Chapter -- Brothers Mitch Barry, and Arnie Regalado, and one who has recently moved to Wasco, Brother Mike "Trainman" Ballou.
The Plaquing of the Kern County Fair was a great success. Celebrating its hundred and third year this summer, it was time that it be recognized. Along with our Red Shirts and PBCs ---Paul "Ragman" Gleim, Mike "Trainwreck" Ramsey, Frank "Two Time" Webster, Mike "Fish" Fisher, Bryce "Badluck" Gendon and Alan "One Eye" Shemet--- a number of gun show participants observed our Plaque Ceremony.
Upcoming for this year is the Three Way Candlelight Initiation in June. We will be participating with Platrix Chapter 2, and De La Guerra y Pacheco Chapter 1.5. Our PBC allotment has been filled, but we do still have a number of Red Shirt openings for the members who wish to attend. It is a very limited number for attendance at this initiation. Our Fall Doin's is laid on for Franklin Field in beautiful Taft, California. It will be 20 - 23 September. At this Doin's, we will be driving a few miles up the road to Plaque the McKittrick Hotel and Penny Bar. This will be shortly before lunch, so we all will be able to partake of the World Famous grub from the Penny Bar. We will have to have a number of Brothers of Sobriety to take charge of the vehicles to get us all there and back. We, of course will have our annual meeting in November and then try to survive until the Widders' Ball in January.
Myrl "Doc" Wallace, PXL XNGH #57 ...and remember to Love us on Facebook
Amended 4.12.18 -- By MGM
The prepay discount window is closed, but you can still use our electronic registration form and PayPal page to sign-up prior to the doin's. The Clamping for this coming weekend should be great. Expect a waning crescent with a new moon by Monday - that's about as before or after a full moon as you can get - we're even expecting a Dickhead sighting, so make sure to check that out!
Speaking of a certain "Mr. Head," Dickhead Weather Central is predicting rising temperatures with highs in the mid-60's on Thursday increasing to the low-80's by Saturday with no chance of rain. Expect nighttime lows from the mid-40's to the mid-50's, so bring something to keep yourself warm. Burn barrels are allowed this trip, dog are not.
Lastly, cell reception is excellent, and the desperate can even order pizza. In case of emergency, your Widder can call our Humbug, Myrl "Doc" Wallace at (805) 937-0156, to get in touch. To download the flyer, click here. See you at the fair!
Posted 4.7.18 -- By MGM
Brothers, gates open at 12 noon this coming Thursday for Peter Lebeck's 57th Annual Spring Doin's - Redshirts at the Fair -- at the Kern County Fair and Event Center in Bakersfield. So don't be left out! Though the snail mail window for our prepay discount closed yesterday, by Clampatriarchal decree, you get one extra day -- today, Saturday April 7th -- to postmark your rub for this most satisfactory event! After that, it's $15 more.
To take advantage you'll also want to make sure our GNR, "Pokey" Crawford, has you on his grocery list come Monday morning. Call or email Pokey at (661) 993-7907 or email@example.com, Otherwise, you'll have no steak to share with Jack the Dingo.
But wait - There's more! If you use the internet to sign-up and use PayPal to liberate your dust, we'll give you until midnight tomorrow, Sunday April 8th, to get 'er done, and Pokey will automatically put you on his list. Just go to http://www.peterlebeckecv.com/detailsS18.html to get started.
For more information contact:
Mark "Pokey" Crawford, NGH (661) 993-7907 or Crawford562@Yahoo.com
Kevn "No Eye" Horton, VNGH (661) 472-0414 or ThePXLstore@yahoo.com
Al "The Quack" Price, Clampatriarch (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org
- Clog Closet Last Archived June 1, 2019