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The Greybeards of PXL Invite You to Join
Our 63rd Noble Grand Humbug,
Kelvin "Dr. Klapper" Swanson at
Our 2024 Fall Doin's He's Calling...
Thur Sept 26 - Sun Sept 29 (6029 CE)
PXL hasn't held a Mojave Desert Clampout since 2012, and the Humbug is telling us that it's time to go back before the place runs out of sand! Besides how else can he pull off "The Humbug's Revenge," which is what "Dr. Klapper" is calling Peter Lebeck's 2024 Fall Doin's. For this shindig, he's promising not only plenty of sand, but also enough wind to fill your best kite, plus enough space to unwind the strings on both of you.
Kelvin has convinced local Elks lodge #2059 to exclusively loan us their Mojave Skeet and Trap Range for our four-day Doin's. The site is far enough out of town for privacy, but close enough to get whatever you might need in the way of food and supplies. There are even several motels, if you're not up to sleeping in the desert.
So what do you say, Brothers? This one even comes with PXL's famous "No Snow" Guarantee. Just click on the links below to get everything you'll need to sign-up (except the money, of course).
Just make sure to get your rub and registration in by September 20th, or by September 9th if you're ordering an event shirt, because at PXL we don't take walk-ins, retreads or p*ssies. Then grab your gear and head for the desert for our major decompression.
Gates opens at noon Thursday, September 26th, so make sure both you and your PBC put in for the days off. And if you're retired, make sure to ask your Widder to remind you. She'll appreciate the peace and quiet. Just don't expect her to be nice about it if you forget and get stuck at home. She just might put you out with the recycle.
- Sign up electronically or by mail by Friday, September 20th!
- Order Your Event Shirt Here by Monday, September 9th!
- Use Zelle to Fork Over Your Dust
- Weekend Event Schedule
- PBCs and Sponsor Instructions, and PBC Handbook
- Download the Flyer
- A Personal Invitation from Our Humbug
- About Clamping at the Skeet Range
- Directions to the Doin's Site
- Rules for the Weekend
- Whom to Contact for More Information
Or click on the red arrow to continue.
YOU MUST PRE-REGISTER AND PREPAY FOR THIS EVENT!
Brother, when was the last time PXL offered you sand? You may not get any trees this time around, but you'll experience some of the greatest camaraderie known to mankind. And we'll even let you share it with a friend, provided you turn him over to our Hangman and "Board of Clamp-zam-in-ers" for a proper humiliation. Just sign-up for "The Humbug's Revenge." It starts Thursday, September 26th, and runs through Sunday morning, and it will cost you a measly $75, plus $85 for your PBC. But hurry! To get past the gate you'll need to get us your dust by September 20th, or September 9th if you want a T-shirt, because at PXL we don't accept walk-ins or retreads.
Just use the link below to download our infallible fillable flyer, or better yet, use our electronic sign-up form. Then snail mail or Zelle us your rub. Either way you'll be reserving a spot at one of the best Clampouts in all of Clamperdom.
Hey! Is your PBC paying separately from his Sponsor? No Problem! Just make sure he includes your name on the memo portion of his check or by attaching a comment to his Zelle transfer.
And remember, regardless of how you sign-up, if your jackass gets sick, just call our GDR, or email us at Registration@ECV1866.org, before the start of our event, and we'll likely make sure you're comped for next time. You just have to be nice about it.
If you do not see a "submit" button at the bottom of the form use a different web browser. Chrome or Edge work best.
ECV Brothers who are on Active Military Duty who preregister by the prepay deadline get in free. Just mention it on your registration form and make sure to bring proof, like a copy of an official email showing your current orders, or an active military ID.
All Chapter Hawkers are welcome to ply their goods. But be prepared to do some trading.
PXL now requires a current written waiver from all attendees. You can speed things up for yourself and your PBC by downloading the form ahead of time and filling it out for each of you. We've also included one in the infallible fillable flyer. These waivers are an ECV wide policy imposed by Grand Council to help keep E Clampus Vitus in existence. So no carping. If you read it ahead of time, it will only take you a minute to initial and sign a copy at the Doin's, even if you forgot yours at home. Click here to read the waiver.
You can snail mail your application and rub to our Gold Dust Receiver at: Peter Lebeck #1866, c/o Dale "Top" Turner, XNGH/GDR, 24415 Lisa Kelton PL, Newhall, CA 91321, You can also Email your application to Registration@ECV1866.org,
Make checks payable to "Peter Lebeck chapter 1866 - ECV" Payments using Zelle should be sent to: PayPeter@ecv1866.org
To learn more about Zelle and how you can use it, click -->
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Click Here to Download a PDF Copy of the Infallible Fillable Flyer.
We are finalizing the design for our event shirt. If you would like to order one for yourself or your PBC, your request AND your dust must be in by September 9th, no exceptions. Use the snail mail registration form or Email "Top" at GDR@ECV1866.org, with your order. Shirts are $25 each up to 4X. You can also use Zelle to message your request and send in your payment. You'll be able to pick up your order at the Doin's. Sorry, shipping is not available. So hurry. You snooze, you lose.
But all is not lost if you failed to order one. While suppies last, our Hawker will still sell you a PXL shirt with our rondelle proudly displayed on the back. Short or long sleeved, in sizes up to 4X, they are of the good quatilty that Clampers have come to expect, and they are only $25.
SCHEDULE OF EVENT WRITTEN DOWN FOR THOSE WHO CAN'T REMEMBER SKEET!
THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR RVs AND TENTS, BUT TO KEEP US SAFE PARK AS DIRECTED BY OUR HOSTRIX. THIS IS DRY CLAMPING. EXPECT NO HOOK-UPS. BURN BARRELS ARE OK BUT KEEP THEM OFF THE GROUND. BRING PLENTY OF SHADE AND WATER BUT NO DOGS, NO WEAPONS, NO WIDDERS AND NO RETREADS. THE RANGE WILL NOT BE OPEN FOR SKEET. All PBCs must have a bribe for the board and do a 5 min. historical presentation as part of their interrogation. PBCs will submit and remain under the control of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite, no exceptions! AND again, No Retreads!
Thurs, Sept 26: Gates open at 12Noon, You are on your own for all meals on Thursday.
Fri, Sept 27: Gates open at 0700 (7am) for Redshirts & PBC’s. You will be on your own for breakfast & lunch.
10:00am & 4:31pm: -- Early check-in at the check-in table.
5:03 pm: HUMBUG'S Meet & Greet. XNGH's & NGH Meet at the PXL Tittie Bar for a Greybeard meeting.
6:03 pm: Humbug's Dinner Delight. Guaranteed to cleanse the colon.
8:07 pm: PBCs must present themselves to the Hangman for survival instruction by the NGH & VNGH at the Bar.
8:15 pm: Clamper Poetry, Redshirt Tales & other BS, plus live music if you're lucky.
Sat, Sept 28: A great day of Clamping with the Brothers . . .
5:03 am: All PBCs report to the cook shack for our PXL Graybeards' breakfast preparation/bonding ritual.
7:03 am: Potluck breakfast - We provide the EGGS! You bring sausage, ham, potatoes, tortillas, salsa, bacon, etc. Our cook team will prepare a meal guaranteed to cleanse your colon (again). PBCs to do the clean-up!
9:01 am: PBCs & sponsors check-in at the cook shack. PBCs will be Clean & Sober.
9:06 am: Redshirt check-in at the Check-in Table (No Grub-stub, no meals). No Kiddin'.
9:33 am: Our Historian will impart an ECV History Lesson to our would-be Brethren - All Redshirts are welcome.
Noonish: Lunch at the cook shack. PBCs always eat first, help serve when done, and then do the clean-up.
1:02 pm: PLAQUE DEDICATION -- ALL PBCs must attend.
2:33 pm: PBC interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
5:03 pm: Necrology Ceremony & Hall of Comparative Ovations.
6:44 pm: Dinner.
8:17 pm: Raffle and Fireside fun - stories, jokes, male bonding, pass the bottle and the usual BS.
Sun, Sept 29: The dreaded "morning after."
7:00 am: A continental breakfast at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids for those who survived.
8:09 am: Camp clean-up. Everybody helps, from XSNGH to XPBC! ANY PBC/ FORMER PBC WHO LEAVES EARLY WILL NOT RECEIVE HIS SHEEPSKIN AND ID CARD --- AND WILL HAVE TO EARN THEM ALL OVER AGAIN!
10:06 am: Drive back to the orphans and widders. But do it SOBER!! And get ready for the Great Pumpkin.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
Special PBC Requirements
SPONSORS! IGNORE THE FOLLOWING AT YOUR PERIL!
Like a bullet, upon arrival at our Clampsite, all PBC's must check in with our Grand Imperturbable Hangman, Mike "Hollowpoint" Brandriff. While on site, they will remain under Hollowpoint's exclusive and complete control. He'll know just how to initiate your supine sucker. Think of him as one hard case and full of brass, who'll know just how to run your PBC's Lard Ass. For they don't call him "Hollowpoint," for nothing! Just remember, PXL allows no private PBC "hazing" or bossing around of any kind, and we abide by Grand Council Rules.
On Friday night, at 8:07, all sponsors and PBCs in camp will assemble at the cook shack and present themselves to the Humbug and his Vice for briefing -- followed by PBC survival instructions. No exceptions!
All infirmities that might affect your PBC's ability to do moderately physical tasks MUST be disclosed to the Hangman. Vertigo, bad knees, bad ticker, claustrophobia, diabetes, flatulence, all that stuff counts. Failure to disclose will result in PBC washout and possible sanctions for his sponsor. Our initiation is intended to be a mind f**k not an endurance test! If your friend has health issues we will get him properly initiated without sending him to Para-medic-landia, but a failure to disclose health problems endangers everyone and is not appreciated.
Lastly, ALL PBCs must bring a bribe and prepare a five minute historical presentation for our Board of Inquiry. PBCs will not wear RED until they have completed their sacred ordeal. Membership at PXL is open only to men 21 or older with good attitudes. Pissy PBCs need not apply. Do as you're told and no one gets hurt.
ALL PBCs ARE ADVISED:
That from the time of their arrival all PBCs are guests of the Brothers of Peter Lebeck, ECV and will be under the protection and control of our Hangman & his Vigilantes.
As is our custom at PXL, PBCs may fraternize with the Brethren through Friday night but must show good attitude and submit to the directions of the Hangman from the time of their arrival, including being of service when so instructed by our Hangman.
All PBCs in Camp on Saturday Morning must report to the Cookshack at 5:01 a.m. for Kitchen Duty on pain of foregoing initiation. Last call for PBCs is 9:01 a.m. Saturday morning, but only if the Humbug accepts his excuse for not showing up. PBCs must be knowledgeable of all educational materials provided to them, especially the Handbook, be prepared to stand and deliver before our Board of Inquiry, and remain sober throughout the initiation. No Exceptions!
The PXL PBC Handbook should be downloaded Here!
PXL adheres to all Grand Council Rules which will be strictly enforced. It will be a clean, but memorable initiation as befits our Honorable Order.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
These are the Rules--So Read 'em!
RULES FOR THE WEEKEND- read them closely & follow them religiously: Our guys are always respectful of the places we visit, but a little extra info will keep us out of trouble:
We are guests of the Protective and Benevolent Order of Elks Lodge #2059, in Mojave, which has given us exclusive permission to use their skeet range for our Doin's. We do not expect to see civilians on site, but, as always, please maintain seemly decorum in their presence. The same goes if you are headed into town. We want to reflect well on our hosts, as well as on our chapter.
Also, despite this being a Clamp on a skeet range, the usual Clamping no-nos still apply, so leave your shotguns at home. There's a reason Canada Dry does not make birdshot.
Average temperatures in Mojave for this time of year are in the mid-80's. That's quite doable but stay hydrated and keep an eye out for anyone showing signs of distress and let us know right away.
Lastly, we don't have to remind Clampers to clean up after themselves but being "fam" also means pitching-in when we set-up and break-down. Guys remember the Redshirts who sit on their hinies when others are working or split early to avoid breaking a sweat. The really cool kids become auxiliaries of Petey's Flying Circus," and that makes them our bestest besties.
So have a great time in Mojave, it gonna be fun.
DO BRING: Shade, raffle/auction prizes, water buckets, horse shoes, stuff for Saturday's potluck breakfast (but not eggs), libations for yourselves and your Brothers, good PBCs, ideas for PBC games, trash bags. Please bring personal hygiene items for the ladies and toys for the kids at the Women's Shelter in Bakersfield. Burn Barrels OK.
DON'T BRING: Dope, firearms, explosives (including females), eggs, weaponry, anyone under 21, pissy PBCs, retreads or any of the usual No Nos. Violation means expulsion without refund. So, don't risk it. This applies to everyone! . . . AND NO DOGS OR RETREADS!
ALL PBCs must have a suitable bribe for the board and a five minute historical presentation. PBCs will submit to the authority of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite and remain under his control. PBC Harassment is the exclusive province of our Hangman so hands off! We don't care if you brought him yourself.
NOTE: This chapter respect and adheres to the rules of the Board of Proctors of E Clampus Vitus®, Inc.
REMEMBER - The PXL bar has snacks, sodas, iced tea and water. Want more? Bring it yourself.
Click on the red arrow to get directions.
So You Want Directions?
<From Bakersfield: Take CA-58 east through the Tehachapi Pass. Leave the freeway at exit 165, and continue south onto CA-58 Business for five mile to Mojave. Just north of town the road designation changes to CA-14, ignore that and just keep going straight. At the south end of the Mojave business district, you'll see a McDonalds. Turn left onto CA-58 Business and go 1.2 miles to United Street, then make a right. Follow the PXL signs.
From L.A. and Santa Clarita: From L.A. take the I-5 north, as you approach the Newhall Passs, stay to your right and transition onto CA-14. From Santa Clarita just take CA-14 north. Once on the 14, drive past Lancaster and continue for about another 24 miles. Just before Mojave, you will reach a bridge where the 14 freeway ends and becomes a surface street. As you approach the controlled intersection take the right fork onto CA-58 Business and go 1.2 miles to United Street, then make a right. Follow the PXL signs.
From any place else, you're on your own.
Questions?
For more information contact:
Kelvin "Dr. Klapper" Swanson, VNGH (661) 252-9443 or Humbug@ecv1866.org
Rick "Hard Luck" Veiga, VNGH (661) 298-8464 or VNGH@ecv1866.org
Al "The Quackster" Price, XXNGH (661) 867-2414 or or Clampatriarch@ecv1866.org
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ecv1866.org
