The Greybeards of PXL Invite You to Join
Our 62nd Noble Grand Humbug,
Al "The Quackster" Price at
Our 2023 Spring Doin's We're Calling...
Fri April 14 - Sun April 16 (6028 CE)
If you missed last year’s trip to Camp Hamilton, you really missed out. But now, we’re going to give you a second chance, because come Friday, April 14th, we’re doing it all over again. So pack up your Clamping gear and kiss the Widder and the critters goodbye, as you’re headed for PXL's most satisfactory weekend Spring Doin's at Camp Hamilton in Bakersfield. The gate opens at 7:00am for you and your PBC, so make sure you both put in for the day off. And if you’re retired, make sure to do it twice just in case you forgot the first time.
Once again you are invited to enjoy this unique oasis, dedicated to all Military Veterans and their families. Established by retired Marine Master Gunnery Sergeant Glenn Denton, USMC, Camp Hamilton is a place of peace, with lawns, interesting structures and over 300 trees, each tree serving as a living memorial to someone who wore the country's uniform.
Come learn about the "Kool-Aide Promise" to never forget those who gave their all. The Vietnam style bunker will bring back memories for those who served in-country, while a POW tower will remind us all of those who are still missing or captive.
There's also a clubhouse and the “Crow Bar,” named for Leland "Crow" Crawford, the 9th Sergeant Major of the United States Marine Corps. The Crow Bar is that little extra-something space for our ECV brothers to gather and socialize. BUT! Be mindful of the Goats. You don't want to be the one to meet the GOAT or GOATS. Leave that to the PBC's.
Master Guns Glenn Denton is also a Brother Clamper, taken in by PXL some 40 years ago while on Recruiting Duty in Bakersfield. During this Clampout we will be his guests and the guests of the Board of Camp Hamilton Memorial Park, which is a non-profit organization. The Brothers have donated some awesome picnic tables to the park, and on Saturday we’ll be conducting a short dedication. All are invited.
- Sign up electronically or by mail by April 7th!
- Order Your Event Shirt Here by April 1st!
- Use Zelle to Fork Over Your Dust
- Weekend Event Schedule
- PBCs and Sponsor Instructions, and PBC Handbook
- Download the Flyer
- A Personal Invitation from Our Humbug
- About Clamping at Camp Hamilton
- Directions to Camp Hamilton
- Rules for the Weekend
- Whom to Contact for More Information
Or click on the red arrow to continue.
YOU MUST PRE-REGISTER FOR THIS EVENT!
Brother, come join an event where you won't get lost in the crowd, plus we've got trees and grass! Just sign-up for PXL's weekend Doin's at Camp Hamilton we're calling, "Freedom Isn't Free." It starts Friday, April 14th, and will cost you a measly $75, plus $85 for your PBC. But remember, we don't accept walk-ins or retreads, so register by April 7th or miss out! You'll also need to get your dust in by that date or expect to pay an extra $15 per person. So sign-up, pay up, and we'll plan on seeing you soon.
Just use the link below to download our infallible fillable flyer, or better yet, use our electronic sign-up form. Then snail mail or Zelle us your rub. Either way you'll be reserving a spot at one of the best Clampouts in all of Clamperdom. And It's freeway close!
Hey! Is your PBC paying separately from his Sponsor? No Problem! Just make sure he includes your name on the memo portion of his check or by attaching a comment to his Zelle transfer.
And remember, regardless of how you sign-up, if your jackass gets sick, just call our GDR, or email us at Registration@ECV1866.org, before the start of our event, and we'll likely make sure you're comped for next time. You just have to be nice about it.
If you do not see a "submit" button at the bottom of the form use a different web browser. Chrome or Edge work best.
ECV Brothers who are on Active Military Duty who preregister by the prepay deadline get in free. Just mention it on your registration form and make sure to bring proof, like a copy of an official email showing your current orders, or an active military ID.
All Chapter Hawkers are welcome to ply their goods. But be prepared to do some trading.
PXL now requires a current written waiver from all attendees. You can speed things up for yourself and your PBC by downloading the form ahead of time and filling it out for each of you. We've also included one in the infallible fillable flyer. These waivers are an ECV wide policy imposed by Grand Council to help keep E Clampus Vitus in existence. So no carping. If you read it ahead of time, it will only take you a minute to initial and sign a copy at the Doin's, even if you forgot yours at home. Click here to read the waiver.
You can snail mail your application and rub to our Gold Dust Receiver at: Peter Lebeck #1866, c/o Dale "Top" Turner, XNGH/GDR, 24415 Lisa Kelton PL, Newhall, CA 91321, You can also Email your application to Registration@ECV1866.org, May checks payable to "Peter Lebeck, Chapter #1866" Payments using Zelle should be sent to: email@example.com To learn more about Zelle and how you can use it, click --><-- here.
Click Here to Download a PDF Copy of the Infallible Fillable Flyer.
If you would like to order an event shirt for yourself or your PBC, your request and your dust must be in by April 1st, no exceptions. Use the snail mail registration form or Email "Top" at GDR@ECV1866.org, with your order. Shirts are $25 each up to 4X. You can also use Zelle to message your request and send in your payment. You'll be able to pick up your order at the Doin's. Sorry, shipping is not available. Do not count on our Hawker having a shirt your size if you do not pre-order, his supply of shirts is extremely limited. While you are at it, say a prayer for the recovery of Brother Paul "Ragman" Gleim of the Rfocus webstore, who is still battling serious illness.
SCHEDULE OF EVENT IMPORTANT S**T TO CONSIDER B 4 HEADING 4 D LAWN
KEEP VEHICLES AND BURN BARRELS OFF OF THE LAWN. RV PARKING IS ALLOWED ONLY IN AREAS DESIGNATED FOR OUR USE. EXPECT NO HOOK-UPS. FOR YOUR SAFETY DRAW POTABLE WATER ONLY FROM DESIGNATED SPIGOTS. NO DOGS. NO WEAPONS. NO WIDDERS. AND NO RETREADS. All PBCs must have a bribe for the board and do a 5 min. historical presentation as part of their interrogation. PBCs will submit and remain under the control of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite, no exceptions! AND again, No Retreads!
Fri, April 14: Open at 0700 (7am) for Redshirts & PBC’s. You will be on your own for breakfast & lunch.
10:00am & 4:31pm: -- Early check-in at the check-in table.
5:03 pm: HUMBUG'S Meet & Greet. XNGH's & NGH Meet at the PXL Tittie Bar for a Greybeard meeting.
6:03 pm: Humbug's Dinner Delight. Guaranteed to cleanse the colon.
8:07 pm: PBCs must present themselves to the Hangman for survival instruction by the NGH &VNGH at the Bar.
8:15 pm: : Clamper Poetry, Redshirt Tales & other BS, plus Karaoke.
Sat, April 15: A great day of Clamping with the Brothers...
5:03 am: All PBCs report to the cook shack for our XNGH breakfast preparation/bonding ritual.
7:03 am: Potluck breakfast - We provide the EGGS! You bring sausage, ham, frozen hash browns, tortillas, salsa, bacon, etc. Our cook team will prepare a meal guaranteed to cleanse your colon. PBCs to do the clean-up!
9:01 am: PBCs & sponsors check-in at the cook shack. PBCs will be Clean & Sober.
9:06 am : Redshirt check-in at the Check-in Table (No Grub-stub, no meals). No Kiddin'.
9:33 am : Our Historian will impart an ECV History Lesson to our would-be Brethren - All Redshirts are welcome.
Noonish: Lunch at the cook shack. PBCs always eat first, help serve when done, and then do the clean-up.
1:02 pm : Dedication of 3 New PXL/ECV Picnic Tables -- ALL PBCs must attend.
2:33 pm: PBC interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
5:03 pm: Necrology Ceremony & Hall of Comparative Ovations.
6:44 pm: Dinner.
8:17 pm: Raffle and Fireside fun - stories, jokes, male bonding, pass the bottle and the usual BS.
Sun, April 16: The dreaded "morning after."
7:00 am: A continental breakfast at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids for those who survived.
8:09 am: Camp clean-up. Everybody helps, from XSNGH to XPBC! ANY PBC/ FORMER PBC WHO LEAVES EARLY WILL NOT RECEIVE HIS SHEEPSKIN AND ID CARD --- AND WILL HAVE TO EARN THEM ALL OVER AGAIN!
10:06 am: Drive back to the orphans and widders. But do it SOBER!! And get ready for the Tax Man.
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Special PBC Requirements
SPONSORS! IGNORE THE FOLLOWING AT YOUR PERIL!
Upon arriving at our Clampsite, all PBC's must check in with our Grand Imperturbable Hangman, Tito "No Pasarán" Galván. While on site, they will remain under Tito's exclusive and complete control. He'll know just how to initiate your supine sucker. Think of him as a Hard Ass full of Whoop Ass, who'll know just how to run your PBC's Lard Ass, for they don't call him Tito "No Pass," for nothing! Just remember, PXL allows no private PBC "hazing" or bossing around of any kind, and we abide by Grand Council Rules.
On Friday night, at 8:07, all sponsors and PBCs in camp will assemble at the cook shack for briefing, followed by PBC survival instructions. No exceptions!
All infirmities that might affect your PBC's ability to do moderately physical tasks MUST be disclosed to the Hangman. Vertigo, bad knees, bad ticker, claustrophobia, diabetes, all that stuff counts. Failure to disclose will result in PBC washout and possible sanctions for his sponsor. Our initiation is intended to be a mind f**k not an endurance test! If your friend has health issues we will get him properly initiated without sending him to Paramediclandia, but a failure to disclose health problems endangers everyone and is not appreciated.
Lastly, ALL PBCs must bring a bribe and prepare a five minute historical presentation for our Board of Inquiry. PBCs will not wear RED until they have completed their sacred ordeal. Membership at PXL is open only to men 21 or older with good attitudes. Pissy PBCs need not apply. Do as you're told and no one gets hurt.
ALL PBCs ARE ADVISED:
That from the time of their arrival all PBCs are guests of the Brothers of Peter Lebeck, ECV and will be under the protection and control of our Hangman & his Vigilantes.
As is our custom at PXL, PBCs may fraternize with the Brethren through Friday night but must show good attitude and submit to the directions of the Hangman from the time of their arrival, including being of service when so instructed by our Hangman.
All PBCs in Camp on Saturday Morning must report to the Cookshack at 5:01 a.m. for Kitchen Duty on pain of foregoing initiation. Last call for PBCs is 9:01 a.m. Saturday morning, but only if the Humbug accepts his excuse for not showing up. PBCs must be knowledgeable of all educational materials provided to them, especially the Handbook, be prepared to stand and deliver before our Board of Inquiry, and remain sober throughout the initiation. No Exceptions!
The PXL PBC Handbook should be downloaded Here!
PXL adheres to all Grand Council Rules which will be strictly enforced. It will be a clean, but memorable initiation as befits our Honorable Order.
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These are the Rules--So Read 'em!
RULES FOR THE WEEKEND- read them closely & follow them religiously: Our guys are always respectful of the places we visit, but a little extra info will keep us out of trouble:
We are guests of Camp Hamilton Veterans Memorial Park, which is a charity run by volunteers. What these people do is a labor of love. They aren't in it for the money, and whatever fees they are collecting from us are just enough to cover their costs. Don't make them regret we were ever invited. Camp Hamilton is the site of over 300 trees, each was planted in memory of a veteran who has gone on to his or her reward, and each tree is tagged with a person's name. So first of all: respect the trees.
Second, we'll have plenty of space to conduct a most satisfactory weekend, but keep in mind that veterans' families may be on site to visit their loved-one's tree or to just relax. Our tradition requires seemly decorum in their presence. Give them their space and show them respect.
Third, the "Crow Bar," is open to us, including its self-serve adult libations. Respect the artifacts and memorabilia. If you partake of the hooch, leave an appropriate tip in the jar or leave a libation in kind. Damage or pilferage of any of the fixtures on site will not only embarrass our chapter it will keep us from being invited back and get you court martialed.
Fourth, burn barrels are allowed, but keep them and vehicles off of the lawn. Park cars and RVs only in areas designated for our use. The park reserves parking for its members and volunteers, so respect their space. There are no RV hook-ups, or shade in the parking area. Make good use of the space available, and cooperate with our Hostrix if you are asked to make adjustments, especially to preserve a fire lane. Potable water is available, but make sure you get it from the right spigots or you may suffer from Mexican War flash backs. When in doubt, ask.
Lastly, we don't have to remind Clampers to clean up after themselves, but being "fam" means pitching-in when we set-up and break-down. Guys remember the Redshirts who sit on their hinies when others are working or split early to avoid helping out. The really cool kids become auxiliaries of "Petey's Flying Circus," and that makes them our bestest besties.
So have a great time at Camp Hamilton, it should be a unique experience.
DO BRING: Shade, raffle/auction prizes, water buckets, horse shoes, stuff for Saturday's potluck breakfast (but not eggs), libations for yourselves and your Brothers, good PBCs, ideas for PBC games, trash bags. Please bring personal hygiene items for the ladies and toys for the kids at the Women's Shelter in Bakersfield. Burn Barrels OK.
DON'T BRING: Dope, firearms, explosives (including females), eggs, weaponry, anyone under 21, pissy PBCs, retreads or any of the usual No Nos. Violation means expulsion without refund. So, don't risk it. This applies to everyone! . . . AND NO DOGS OR RETREADS!
ALL PBCs must have a suitable bribe for the board and a five minute historical presentation. PBCs will submit to the authority of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite and remain under his control. PBC Harassment is the exclusive province of our Hangman so hands off! We don't care if you brought him yourself.
NOTE: This chapter respect and adheres to the rules of the Board of Proctors of E Clampus Vitus®, Inc.
REMEMBER - The PXL bar has snacks, sodas, iced tea and water. Want more? Bring it yourself.
Click on the red arrow to get directions.
So You Want Directions?
From Bakersfield: Take CA 99 North to Exit 30. Exit and proceed north on CA 65 towards Porterville for 4 miles. At the T-intersection turn left onto Lerdo Highway towards Shafter. Drive about .9 miles to where you'll see the Camp Hamilton sign on the right. Turn right onto the dirt road and drive to the Camp Hamilton Entrance.
From L.A.: Take Interstate 5 North to CA 99 North, then follow the above directions.
From Mojave: Take CA 58 West to CA 99 North, then follow the above directions.
From any place else, you're on your own.
For more information contact:
Al "The Quackster" Price, XNGH (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Kelvin "Dr. Klapper" Swanson, VNGH (661) 252-9443 or KSwanson4@socal.rr.com
"Ptomaine Timbo" Gillespie, XXXNGH, Clampatriarch (714) 936-8650 or Timbodid@yahoo.com
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org