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The Greybeards of PXL Invite You to Join
Our 63rd Noble Grand Humbug,
Kelvin "Dr. Klapper" Swanson at
Our 2024 Spring Doin's We're Calling...
Thur April 11 - Sun April 14 (6029 CE)
A day at the races, then another, then another, then another. Neither the Marx Brothers, nor Freddy Mercury, can hold a candle to PXL because starting April 11th, the brothers of your favorite "piss poor bear wrassler" are headed to Willow Springs International Raceway for our 6029 four day Spring Doin's.
Thanks to Brother Christian Huth whose grandfather purchased the nascent track back in 1962, and whose family developed it into what it is today, we'll be relaxing on "the balcony" up above turn 4, overlooking "Big Willow," the speedway's 2.5 mile main course. You might say that PXL has been granted usufructuary priveleges for our most splendiferous conclave - or just cut to the chase and wash your mouth out with soap. Either way, we'll be plaquing the park on Saturday, so if you think you'd like to join us, read on to get everything you need to get up to speed on this one. But hurry, because we don't take walk-ins and you must meet the deadline to register or you won't get in.
So pack up your Clamping gear and get ready to kiss the Widder and the critters goodbye. The gate opens at noon on Thursday, so make sure both you and your PBC put in for the days off. And if you're retired, make sure to do it twice just in case you forgot the first time . . . though we suspect that your widder will probably remind you.
- Sign up electronically or by mail by April 5th!
- Order Your Event Shirt Here by Monday, March 18th!
- Use Zelle to Fork Over Your Dust
- Weekend Event Schedule
- PBCs and Sponsor Instructions, and PBC Handbook
- Download the Flyer
- A Personal Invitation from Our Humbug
- About Clamping at Willow Springs
- Directions to Willow Springs
- Rules for the Weekend
- Whom to Contact for More Information
Or click on the red arrow to continue.
YOU MUST PRE-REGISTER AND PREPAY FOR THIS EVENT!
Brother, come join an event where you won't get lost in the crowd, You won't get any trees this time but we'll have lots of ZOOM! Just sign-up for PXL's 4-day spring Clampout at Willow Springs International Raceway that we're calling, "A Day at the Races." It starts Thursday, April 11th, and will cost you a measly $75, plus $85 for your PBC. But remember, we don't accept walk-ins or retreads, so register by April 5th or miss out! You'll also need to get your dust in by that date or expect not to get past the gate. So sign-up, pay up, and we'll plan on seeing you soon.
Just use the link below to download our infallible fillable flyer, or better yet, use our electronic sign-up form. Then snail mail or Zelle us your rub. Either way you'll be reserving a spot at one of the best Clampouts in all of Clamperdom.
Hey! Is your PBC paying separately from his Sponsor? No Problem! Just make sure he includes your name on the memo portion of his check or by attaching a comment to his Zelle transfer.
And remember, regardless of how you sign-up, if your jackass gets sick, just call our GDR, or email us at Registration@ECV1866.org, before the start of our event, and we'll likely make sure you're comped for next time. You just have to be nice about it.
If you do not see a "submit" button at the bottom of the form use a different web browser. Chrome or Edge work best.
ECV Brothers who are on Active Military Duty who preregister by the prepay deadline get in free. Just mention it on your registration form and make sure to bring proof, like a copy of an official email showing your current orders, or an active military ID.
All Chapter Hawkers are welcome to ply their goods. But be prepared to do some trading.
PXL now requires a current written waiver from all attendees. You can speed things up for yourself and your PBC by downloading the form ahead of time and filling it out for each of you. We've also included one in the infallible fillable flyer. These waivers are an ECV wide policy imposed by Grand Council to help keep E Clampus Vitus in existence. So no carping. If you read it ahead of time, it will only take you a minute to initial and sign a copy at the Doin's, even if you forgot yours at home. Click here to read the waiver.
You can snail mail your application and rub to our Gold Dust Receiver at: Peter Lebeck #1866, c/o Dale "Top" Turner, XNGH/GDR, 24415 Lisa Kelton PL, Newhall, CA 91321, You can also Email your application to Registration@ECV1866.org,
Make checks payable to "Peter Lebeck, Chapter #1866" Payments using Zelle should be sent to: paypeter@ecv1866.org
To learn more about Zelle and how you can use it, click -->
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Click Here to Download a PDF Copy of the Infallible Fillable Flyer.
If you would like to order an event shirt for yourself or your PBC, your request and your dust must be in by March 18th, no exceptions. Use the snail mail registration form or Email "Top" at GDR@ECV1866.org, with your order. Shirts are $25 each up to 4X. You can also use Zelle to message your request and send in your payment. You'll be able to pick up your order at the Doin's. Sorry, shipping is not available. Do not count on our Hawker having a shirt your size if you do not pre-order, his supply of shirts is extremely limited. While you are at it, say a prayer for the recovery of Brother Paul "Ragman" Gleim of the Rfocus webstore, who is still battling serious illness.
SCHEDULE OF EVENT IMPORTANT S**T TO CONSIDER B 4 HEADING 2 D TRACK
TENTS AND RV PARKING ARE ALLOWED ONLY IN AREAS DESIGNATED FOR OUR USE. EXPECT NO HOOK-UPS. BURN BARRELS MUST BE KEPT OFF THE GROUND FOR FIRE SAFETY. BRING PLENTY SHADE AND WATER AND NO DOGS, NO WEAPONS, NO WIDDERS AND NO RETREADS. All PBCs must have a bribe for the board and do a 5 min. historical presentation as part of their interrogation. PBCs will submit and remain under the control of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite, no exceptions! AND again, No Retreads!
Thurs. April 11: The Speedway gate opens at 12Noon and Closes at 10PM. You are on your own for all meals.
Fri, April 12: The Speedway gate opens at 0700 (7am) for Redshirts & PBC’s, and closes at midnight. You will be on your own for breakfast & lunch.
10:00am & 4:31pm: -- Early check-in at the check-in table.
5:03 pm: HUMBUG'S Meet & Greet. XNGH's & NGH Meet at the PXL Tittie Bar for a Greybeard meeting.
6:03 pm: Humbug's Dinner Delight. Guaranteed to cleanse the colon.
8:07 pm: PBCs must present themselves to the Hangman for survival instruction by the NGH &VNGH at the Bar.
8:15 pm: : Clamper Poetry, Redshirt Tales & other BS, plus Karaoke.
Sat, April 13: A great day of Clamping with the Brothers...
5:03 am: All PBCs report to the cook shack for our XNGH breakfast preparation/bonding ritual.
7:03 am: Potluck breakfast - We provide the EGGS! You bring sausage, ham, frozen hash browns, tortillas, salsa, bacon, etc. Our cook team will prepare a meal guaranteed to cleanse your colon. PBCs to do the clean-up!
9:01 am: PBCs & sponsors check-in at the cook shack. PBCs will be Clean & Sober.
9:06 am : Redshirt check-in at the Check-in Table (No Grub-stub, no meals). No Kiddin'.
9:33 am : Our Historian will impart an ECV History Lesson to our would-be Brethren - All Redshirts are welcome.
Noonish: Lunch at the cook shack. PBCs always eat first, help serve when done, and then do the clean-up.
1:02 pm : PLAQUE DEDICATION -- ALL PBCs must attend.
2:33 pm: PBC interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
5:03 pm: Necrology Ceremony & Hall of Comparative Ovations.
6:44 pm: Dinner.
8:17 pm: Raffle and Fireside fun - stories, jokes, male bonding, pass the bottle and the usual BS.
Sun, April 14: The dreaded "morning after."
7:00 am: A continental breakfast at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids for those who survived.
8:09 am: Camp clean-up. Everybody helps, from XSNGH to XPBC! ANY PBC/ FORMER PBC WHO LEAVES EARLY WILL NOT RECEIVE HIS SHEEPSKIN AND ID CARD --- AND WILL HAVE TO EARN THEM ALL OVER AGAIN!
10:06 am: Drive back to the orphans and widders. But do it SOBER!! And get ready for the Tax Man.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
Special PBC Requirements
SPONSORS! IGNORE THE FOLLOWING AT YOUR PERIL!
Like a bullet, upon arrival at our Clampsite, all PBC's must check in with our Grand Imperturbable Hangman, Mike "Hollowpoint" Brandriff. While on site, they will remain under Hollowpoint's exclusive and complete control. He'll know just how to initiate your supine sucker. Think of him as one hard case and full of brass, who'll know just how to run your PBC's Lard Ass. For they don't call him "Hollowpoint," for nothing! Just remember, PXL allows no private PBC "hazing" or bossing around of any kind, and we abide by Grand Council Rules.
On Friday night, at 8:07, all sponsors and PBCs in camp will assemble at the cook shack and present themselves to the Humbug and his Vice for briefing -- followed by PBC survival instructions. No exceptions!
All infirmities that might affect your PBC's ability to do moderately physical tasks MUST be disclosed to the Hangman. Vertigo, bad knees, bad ticker, claustrophobia, diabetes, flatulence, all that stuff counts. Failure to disclose will result in PBC washout and possible sanctions for his sponsor. Our initiation is intended to be a mind f**k not an endurance test! If your friend has health issues we will get him properly initiated without sending him to Para-medic-landia, but a failure to disclose health problems endangers everyone and is not appreciated.
Lastly, ALL PBCs must bring a bribe and prepare a five minute historical presentation for our Board of Inquiry. PBCs will not wear RED until they have completed their sacred ordeal. Membership at PXL is open only to men 21 or older with good attitudes. Pissy PBCs need not apply. Do as you're told and no one gets hurt.
ALL PBCs ARE ADVISED:
That from the time of their arrival all PBCs are guests of the Brothers of Peter Lebeck, ECV and will be under the protection and control of our Hangman & his Vigilantes.
As is our custom at PXL, PBCs may fraternize with the Brethren through Friday night but must show good attitude and submit to the directions of the Hangman from the time of their arrival, including being of service when so instructed by our Hangman.
All PBCs in Camp on Saturday Morning must report to the Cookshack at 5:01 a.m. for Kitchen Duty on pain of foregoing initiation. Last call for PBCs is 9:01 a.m. Saturday morning, but only if the Humbug accepts his excuse for not showing up. PBCs must be knowledgeable of all educational materials provided to them, especially the Handbook, be prepared to stand and deliver before our Board of Inquiry, and remain sober throughout the initiation. No Exceptions!
The PXL PBC Handbook should be downloaded Here!
PXL adheres to all Grand Council Rules which will be strictly enforced. It will be a clean, but memorable initiation as befits our Honorable Order.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
These are the Rules--So Read 'em!
RULES FOR THE WEEKEND- read them closely & follow them religiously: Our guys are always respectful of the places we visit, but a little extra info will keep us out of trouble:
We are guests of Willow Springs International Raceway, which is a family owned establishment. Though it has been in business since the 1950's, and features multiple courses for auto racing and has good access by road, we are Clamping in the high desert, and that can mean both rough weather and rough ground, so plan accordingly and use your best judgement, especially along the edges of the Clampgsite. Also as a matter of safety you will be required to stay off the tracks. Violation will result in expulsion without refund.
On Thursday the park entrance opens at Noon and closes at 10 p.m. You must also be on the list to get past the guard shack without paying admission and to gain access the Doin's site. Walk-ins can walk home. So, yeah. If you are coming in on Friday, the entrance will be open from 7 a.m. until midnight.
We'll be Clamping on "the balcony" up behind turn #4, We'll be outdoors, but we'll have the use of a building where we'll be able to socialize. We'll have separate areas for tents and RVs, but expect no hook-ups, and keep your burn barrels off of the ground no matter where you stake your diggin's. Make good use of the space available, and cooperate with our Hostrix if you are asked to make adjustments . . . and leave your dogs and the other usual no-no's at home.
Although we'll have an area to ourselves, Willow Springs does host other events so please maintain seemly decorum when in view of the public.
Lastly, we don't have to remind Clampers to clean up after themselves, but being "fam" also means pitching-in when we set-up and break-down. Guys remember the Redshirts who sit on their hinies when others are working or split early to avoid helping out. The really cool kids become auxiliaries of "Petey's Flying Circus," and that makes them our bestest besties.
So have a great time at Willow Springs, it should be a unique experience.
DO BRING: Shade, raffle/auction prizes, water buckets, horse shoes, stuff for Saturday's potluck breakfast (but not eggs), libations for yourselves and your Brothers, good PBCs, ideas for PBC games, trash bags. Please bring personal hygiene items for the ladies and toys for the kids at the Women's Shelter in Bakersfield. Burn Barrels OK.
DON'T BRING: Dope, firearms, explosives (including females), eggs, weaponry, anyone under 21, pissy PBCs, retreads or any of the usual No Nos. Violation means expulsion without refund. So, don't risk it. This applies to everyone! . . . AND NO DOGS OR RETREADS!
ALL PBCs must have a suitable bribe for the board and a five minute historical presentation. PBCs will submit to the authority of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite and remain under his control. PBC Harassment is the exclusive province of our Hangman so hands off! We don't care if you brought him yourself.
NOTE: This chapter respect and adheres to the rules of the Board of Proctors of E Clampus Vitus®, Inc.
REMEMBER - The PXL bar has snacks, sodas, iced tea and water. Want more? Bring it yourself.
Click on the red arrow to get directions.
So You Want Directions?
From Bakersfield: Take CA 58 East. Exit at Mojave and take Hwy 14 south. Continue south to the Rosamond BL exit. Turn right onto Rosamond BL. Go west approximately 5 miles to 75th ST West and turn right again. Continue on to the main gate.
Option 2: Take I-5 south and exit onto Highway 138 east (Avenue D). Go east 30 miles to 90th ST West and turn left. Proceed north 6 miles then turn right onto Rosamond BL. Go west for a mile and a half. At 75th ST West turn left and proceed to the gate.
From L.A. and Santa Clarita: If you are coming from L.A. take the I-5 north and transition onto Hwy 14 as you enter the Newhall Pass. From Santa Clarita just take Hwy 14 north. Once on Hwy 14, go north past Lancaster and Avenue A to the Rosamond BL exit. At the bottom of the ramp take the left fork and turn left onto Rosamond Bl. Continue west about five miles to 75th ST West, then turn right. Continue to the main gate.
From any place else, you're on your own.
Questions?
For more information contact:
Kelvin "Dr. Klapper" Swanson, VNGH (661) 252-9443 or Humbug@ecv1866.org
Rick "Hard Luck" Veiga, VNGH (661) 298-8464 or VNGH@ecv1866.org
Al "The Quackster" Price, XXNGH (661) 867-2414 or or Clampatriarch@ecv1866.org
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ecv1866.org
