Peter Lebeck Chapter #1866

The Kern County Chapter of E Clampus Vitus ®
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The PXL CLOG Closet!

Welcome to the CLOG Closet
The News Archive of Peter Lebeck
Kern County Chapter of E Clampus Vitus ®

Cool Ride?

MINUS 1 - Just After Our 2015 Widders' Ball


Posted 1.25.15 -- By MGM

Thanks to all who made it to the Ball! It was a great time and Jim Bailey, our new Humbug, has a special surprise for everyone who showed up to the Big PAR-TAY! But as usual, you'll have to wait a few days for me to catch my breath, get the picture together and so on. But you'll also want to keep your eye on this space for the upcoming PXL PLAQUAPALOOZA, February 28, 2015 starting at 1 p.m. That's less than five weeks away, fellow Cloggite. I'll be posting additional details, but for now, you'll want to read you way down into the CLOG. My post from January 12th will get you started. --MGM

Posted 1.24.15 -- By MGM

PXL Keeps Rolling Along! PXL Keeps Rolling Along!

Our Widders' Ball is here. But business first. Our Annual Corporate meeting starts at 11 a.m. and all members are invited. The meeting will begin promptly and take about an hour. Whether you can make the business meeting or not, everyone is invited to our Hospitality Lounge. You, your Widder and guests won't want to miss our informal mingle. So join us starting at 2 p.m. for complimentary snacks and adult libations. If you'd like to sit outside, bring a sweater. Predicted high for today is 66 degrees under partly cloudy skies. Join us for dinner at 7 p.m., but you'll want to get there a bit early to have your picture taken with your Widder on the PXL Red Carpet. Dancing after dinner 'til about 11 p.m.. See you in Bakersfield at the Homewood Suites, 1505 Mill Rock Way, Bakersfield, California, 93311. Phone: 661/664-0400. Have a safe trip!


Posted 1.19.15 -- By MGM

Three Dudes Ready for the Ball!

The 54th Annual Peter Lebeck Widders' Ball is this Saturday, so if you haven't signed-up, you are in luck because we still have space for a few procrastinators - and anti-crastinators, too! But you need to let us know you are coming and you need to do it pronto, Tonto. At $70 a couple and $40 stag, it's one of the best deals in all of Clamperdom. Open bar, hospitality, dancing, and as Gene says, "The rest is up to you!" So long as you keep the libations off of the dance floor because "Big Slippery" is just a figure of speech.

Just drop by the "Big Envelope Page" to reserve a place for yourself and your Widder, and then pay using Paypal. Heck, we'll even accept your rub at the door, but you need to let us know to expect you. You can even drop us a line at to reserve you place on the red carpet, but you need to do it now because party crashing is rude and they'll be no shrimp cocktail for stragglers! Then got to the Widders' Ball Page to download directions and other important details about our event.

The weather is looking quite nice for this event. DH Weather Central reports rising temperatures for our weekend. With sunny skies and daytime highs about 70 degrees. As for the evening, a little dancing and a little togetherness should keep you more than warm. Just go to our Widders' Ball page for complete details!


It's also not too late to stay over at a special reduced rate. We've reserved a number of suites at $79 plus room tax to keep you safe and cozy for the night, just make sure to call Homewood Suites at 661-664-0400, during regular business hours and ask for Nicole or Stacy to make reservations. See you there!


Much thanks to the Kern County Historical Society for inviting us this past Saturday to their lunch meeting at T.L. Maxwell's, in Bakersfield, to make a presentation on our 50 years of plaquing in Kern County. Outgoing Humbug Charles Topping and Brother Al Price did a bang up job illustrating the hard learned do and don'ts of monument erection in the great outdoors. We were well received by the membership, but we were also especially impressed with the society's ambitious plans for plaquing a walking tour of Downtown Bakersfield. Twenty plaques are proposed to be added to the existing five, with the Padre Hotel at the top of the list of new additions.

We've offered to help, but whether we are invited to participate in their downtown efforts or not, we have hope that any alliance we can form with KCHS on future project will be of mutual benefit to both organizations.

Here's looking forward to a fun filled and memorable Widders' Ball. See you on the Red Carpet!



Posted 1.12.15 -- By MGM

Nick will show it to you!

Welcome back Cloggites! I know it's been awhile, but sometimes it's just hard to find enough time to go plumbing. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, "The problem with work is that is gets in the way of life." So I just have to promise that one of these days I'm going to retire, and the Brothers will start asking themselves, "What ever happened to that nice, quiet, passive-aggressive guy who used to write the CLOG? And who is this nut-so Bro' using the same pseudonym who keeps SPAMMING MY INBOX!"

But until that day, it's still safe to read the PXL CLOG. I always have issue with keeping it short, but I'll try to keep this one sweet and to the point. So here goes.

Chilling after the dance floor!

The PXL Widders; Ball is only two weeks away, and if you haven't signed up, what are you waiting for? We've got food, we've got fun, and we've got an open bar - all for one low price. By now everyone who's joined the Peter Lebeck Facebook page, or regularly reads the CLOG has had plenty of time to send in their rub. As for the rest of you, the snail mail version of the flyer and current Procs went out today in the mail as one last reminder. If you didn't get it, you can download it here.

Of course everything you need to find your way to the Ball is on the 2015 Widders' Ball page, including links to the flyer, Paypal and our easy-peasy Big Envelope cyber registration. Our Widders' Ball is one of the best parties in all of Clamperdom, and if you've never been I really encourage you to give us a try. We've arranged for a special room rate so you can spend the night. This year we're even going all out with our exclusive red carpet treatment that will have your Widder melting in your arms. So get ready for a very special day and a very special night. Hospitality begins at 2 p.m., Dinner is served at 7 p.m., followed by Dancing in the PXL Disco Lounge.

As crazy as this sounds, the Widders' Ball is technically part of our annual corporate meeting that must be conducted each year in January, but by the time we get to passing the staff and announcing our new officers, the hard work has already taken place behind the scenes. We met in December in Frazier Park, to hash out most of the issues facing the chapter in 2015, but we'll still need a short meeting to put the final touches on our plans for the year and to show that we've done right by the membership.


To that end NGH Charles Topping will convene our Annual Corporate Meeting on the day of the Widders' Ball, January 24, 2015, at 11 a.m. in the conference room of the Homewood Suites Hotel, at 1505 Mill Rock Way, Bakersfield, CA. (661) 644-0400. This is a combined General Membership and Graybeards' Meeting which will last about one hour. You are encouraged to arrive promptly.

The following Items are up for discussion:

  • 1.  Final approval of 2014 minutes (Mike Ramirez)
  • 2.  Year End and Fall Doin's Financial Report (GDR Luis Bouza)
  • 2.  Year End and Fall Doin's Hawker Report (Hawker Kevn Horton)
  • 4.  Final approval of officer and functionaries for 2015 (Humbug Erectus Jim Bailey)
  • 5.  Finalize the clamp year schedule (Bailey)
  • 6.  Report on kitchen and awning upgrades (Bailey)
  • 7.  Proposed committee to look into kitchen needs (Bailey)
  • 8.  Report on BBQ committee (Luis Bouza/Tim Gillespie)
  • 9.  Report on By-Laws committee (NGH Charles Topping)

Charles encourages everyone who is interested to make this meeting and to provide your input. Afterwards you can congratulate Jim Bailey on surviving his years as Vice, and offering your condolences on his imminent elevation. Proof that no good deed goes unpunished.


Jayne and Tarzan.

Speaking of our Humbug Erectus, Jim Bailey. I think Bailey is already proving that he will cleave close to the model set out in our bylaws. Or as Gene Duncker would say, "You put the guy in charge and he makes the decisions." To that I would add two things. A good Humbug is a guy who can prepare, delegate and plan for future needs; and you get a bonus if he can turn on a dime. (Or maybe that's four things?)

Anyway one example of this comes up this next weekend, and we really need your support. On Saturday January 17, 2015, at Noon, PXL is invited to attend a luncheon put on by the Kern County Historical Society, at T. L. Maxwell's Restaurant & Bar, 1421 17th Place, in Downtown Bakersfield. Following lunch, NGH Charles Topping and Humbug Erectus Jim Bailey will make a presentation on PXL's Historical Monuments. Jim and Charles began working on this in 2014 and if we are successful you can expect this will be an important relationship for many Humbugs to come.

We need anyone who can attend to come on down and show KCHS that the Brothers of PXL take our chapter's historical work seriously. Our goal is to reestablish ties with KCHS and eventually cooperate in some joint erections. For price and reservations call Widder Jayne Price, 661-867-2414, V.P and program chair at KCHS. This is a biggie, please try to make it.


Potential Clampsites--Fall '14.

Anyway the biggest problem for a new Humbug is that by the time the last guy gives you the Staff both you and the chapter are months behind if you didn't lay the groundwork for your year when you were Vice. And as Charles found out, sometimes even the best planning doesn't make up for "unforeseen circumstances." Like getting a call on a Sunday morning telling you that your Clampsite is being shutdown indefinitely for repairs and good luck finding a new place to Clamp. I still have webcoding whiplash over that one, even though in the end it turned out to be one of our best events.

So planning ahead helps a lot, even if all it gets you in the end is the extra time you need to stay even. Then there's the extra travel and other things a Humbug needs to do to build up good will for the chapter. Which means that the perfect Humbug should also have three additional qualities - he ought to be rich, he ought to be retired and he ought to be crazy --though around here we're lucky just to get some of the crazy part. There's also that old joke that a Humbug doesn't have to do anything because he's Humbug. Though nothing could be further from the truth, with a little luck we don't get someone who's crazy enough to believe he was elected to sit on his hands.


Ethel's Old Corral.

Well Bailey's not one of those, and I think that with his 2015 elevation to first among equals we're going to have another good year. Jim is already working hard on two weekend Clampouts and a "two-fer" all-day plaquing pachanga you won't want to miss.

West Kern Oil Museum Logo.

Come February 28, 2015, we'll be dedicating two new historical additions starting at 1 p.m. with a traditional erection inside the confines of the West Kern Oil Museum in Taft. We'll be commemorating the history of petroleum exploration in western Kern County, and following the dedication you'll have ample time to tour the museum which is entirely run by volunteers. The museum itself is a work in progress, and among its exhibits includes the landmark oil derrick that guards the entrance.

Then it's off to our second plaque dedication at Ethel's Old Corral on Bakersfield's eastside. Ethel's is a restaurant and watering hole that's been around since the 1920's. It has a giant fiberglass Indian sentinel out front and a very eclectic clientele inside. We'd like to add a few Clampers to that, and the owner has even ordered up a live band for the occasion, so please, join us for a day of food, fun and history. Local accommodations are available at the Homewood Suites if you'd like to stay over.


Humbug Erectus Jim Bailey.

Our Spring Doin's will be at Fort Tejon on the weekend of April 17th, so save the date for that one, too. The last time we were there we were close to capacity, so you'll want to get your rub in when sign-up becomes available. The date for our Fall Doin's is tentatively the weekend of October 16th, and Jim says we're going to "Clamp Okihi," which is one of the nicest places to Clamp in all of Clamperdom. I'm sure our crew will put on a great weekend program to which you'll want to invite your Clamper and would be Clamper friends just to show them what PXL is all about.

I really like Jim's choices for this year's Clampouts. Fort Tejon and Camp Okihi are two of the best venues available to PXL in all of Kern County. (BTW- That last one's pronounced "OH-key-hee," NOT "OKIE HIGH." Now, if I could only teach Gene to pronouce it that way).

Tejon is part of a state historical park and is where our Clampatriarch, Peter Lebeck danced with the grizzly and lost in the first round. The Clampsite is in Grapevine Canyon, behind the old fort, which is right off of Interstate 5, and is very RV friendly. There is also a grassy area suitable for tents, and plenty of flat space for our shenanigans beneath the oaks. The deer have even been known to come down in the morning and make fun of the PBCs. We have space for about 80 Clampers.

Okihi belongs to Kern County Parks, and is often used as a Boy Scout camp and for school field trips. Many of our guys who grew up in Bakersfield have fond memories of camping out beside the river and telling ghost stories over s'mores. The place has an amphitheater, benches, fire circles, lighting and expansive lawns for tenting, and peripheral roads where brothers can set up their RVs. If the entire campground is available to us we should have room for about 200 Clampers. In the past we've talked about using Camp Okihi for a Clamper-wide or multi-chapter event, but, for now, this will be just between us. It's a great place for the kind of "programmed doin's" that PXL is becoming known for, so stay toon'ed.


NGH Charles Topping at the Walker House.

I know I promised you a detailed report on our Fall Doin's, but you're going to have to give me a bit of a pass this time, as I just have too much to do before the Widders' Ball.

We had about 70 guys show up for our 2014 Fall Doin's in the mountains above Walker Basin at the Bald Eagle Ranch in Havilah. The weather was dry, and it was shirtsleeves during the day and propane heaters at night. Fires weren't allowed due to dry conditions. On Friday night, I think the diehards went to bed at about 4 a.m., heaters blazing, but I couldn't swear to it because I crashed about three. Needless to say, I almost missed the Graybeards' Breakfast, but at least I had an excuse for not cooking because I'm the guy with the camera.

Charles was totally triumphant over the much anticipated bean rebellion. His overpowering counterattack consisted of beans at every meal. The sound and the fury were deafening but decisive. I personally contributed the refried frijoles served for breakfast, but the pièce de résistance was, as it always should be, Timbo's multi-award winning Clamper Super Beans for Saturday dinner. By the end of the second night the rebellion had surrendered in odious but audible fashion.

Four new members.

Following Saturday dinner, our Clampatriarch, Brother Russ "Hole" Chapman, began the night's festivities with his latest and greatest version of the Queen Califa Clampi'theatre, followed by a round of the CLONG SHOW. The Hole thing left everybody in stitches. Most taken aback I think were the visiting Brothers who had never experienced a PXL Doin's before. They had great things to say about us, and I strongly expect that we will see some of them again at our Spring Clampout. If you'd like to check out the fun for yourself, don't forget to check out the pictures on our picture page.

We had four new Brothers join our ranks the good old fashioned way - by shouldering the burdens of being a PBC. Each performed well before the assembled Brethren during the Graybeards' examination, and each was blessed with getting their history lesson from our Clampcrier Emeritus, Gene "Dickhead" Duncker, PXP, who is about to retire and is moving to Nevada. Gene and his Widder, Lumpy have purchased a ranchette in Carson City so I suspect that our beloved Dickhead will be returning to the arms of his mother chapter, Julia C. Bulette. I'm sure we'll see him again soon, but it just won't be the same. It takes more than WD40 to replace a fixture that's been around for over 20 years. Nevertheless we gave Gene a good sendoff at our Fall Doin's, and our new inductees got the benefit of Gene's knowledge of ECV. So welcome to the new guys, and Gene, we're sorry that we'll be seing less of you.


NGH Charles Topping at the Walker House.

Lastly, we have to celebrate the work put in this year by our outgoing Humbug, Charles Topping. He is responsible for two erections. The first was a monument at the "lost" Catholic Cemetery in Havilah, and the second was a plaque at the Ardis Walker House in Kernville. Charles also put on two successful weekend Clampouts which raised money for our ongoing historical work. So thank you, Charles. We owe you our gratitude for advancing our cause and keeping us alive one more year.

When I say "one more year" I really mean it. The truth is that "all men's" organizations are an endangered species and have been for some time. We are often seen as anti-woman, which just isn't true; and while this mischaracterization makes it harder to recruit younger members, at least the fact that we aren't rich, powerful or well-connected keeps us from being a big target. Ironically it's our Widders who have a lot to do with the survival of our organization because they recognize that sometimes men just need to be boys to blow off steam. It also doesn't hurt that banding together for a good cause helps to keep us sane, and at the end of the day that doesn't make us a threat to anyone.

Email MGM.

MGM, XNGH -- "Recording No Cyber Before Its Time."
...and remember to Love us on Facebook




As Amended 12.22.14 -- By MGM

Mikee Does the WAVE! Widders' Ball Invite!

Merry Christmas & Happy Hanukkah! Best Wishes to all the Brothers and their loved ones! May you be filled with the spirit and the blessings of the season, and may you have the time to recall and enjoy that which is really special in your lives.

This is just a quick note to let you know what we've been up to here at the CLOG. We'll do some major catching up later, but first this:

Our Widders' Ball is set for Saturday, January 24, 2014, at the Homewood Suites in Bakersfield. Read all about it on our Widders' Ball Pages which are now up so check them out. You can download the flyer and sign-up by either mail or Paypal, but you'll want to do it soon because last year we nearly sold out and our event is only a month away.

Hospitality will begin at 2:00 p.m. Dinner seating is at 7:00 p.m. Ball goers will get dinner, dancing and an open bar for one low price. Dress-up and accompany your Widder for pictures on the PXL Red Carpet. Spend the night at the Homewood Suites by Hilton for a very affordable price. It's a party that you, your Widder and your friends are really going to enjoy, and one you won't want to miss. But hurry! Seating is limited.

As for everything else on this site, I'm working on it so BEAR with me. The PROCS and a new CLOG will be up soon.

Posted 12.02.14 -- By MGM


PXL Humbug Charles Topping has called a meeting to discuss necessary corporate business for the upcoming Clampyear, including interalia the selection of officers and clampfunctionaires for 2015 (6020), and the finalization of the date for our upcoming Widder's Ball.

It will be held this coming Saturday, December 6, 2014, at 10 a.m., rain or shine, at La Sierra Mexican Restaurant in Frazier Park, 3500 Mt Pinos Way, Frazier Park, CA 93225. Phone: (661) 245-3628. Please arrive early as food service is available (and tasty), so bring a few bucks and a good appetite.

At the end of this meeting we shall table all motions essential to our bylaws and adjourn to the morning of the Ball for our official annual corporate meeting where final objections may be lodged and modifications made prior to the Board's final clampficial decisions. All members are welcome to attend both meetings.

The following Items are up for discussion:

  • 1.   Reading and adoption of past minutes -- Vaquero and MGM.
  • 2.   Gold Dust Receiver's Annual and Fall Event financial reports.*
  • 3.   Hawker's Annual and Fall Event financial reports.*
  • 4.   Grand Noble Recorder's Membership Report for 6019
  • 5.   Nomination of Humbug for 6020 - Charles Topping.*
  • 6.   Proposed Officers and Clampfunctionaires for 6020*
  • 7.  Discussion on Transitioning Accounts and Official Functions.
  • 8.  Two Person Audit Committee.*
  • 9.  Sites and Dates for Spring and Fall Doin's and plaquing events.
  • 10. Date of 6020 Widders' Ball and venue and menu issues.
  • 11. Proposed Bylaws Retreat - MGM
  • 12. Noble Grand Widder.

Charles encourages everyone who is interested to make this meeting and to provide your input. Afterwards you can tell him what you really think. :-) Sorry for the delay on this one. This is a normal meeting thingee, it's just that I've had some serious computer issues. If you are looking for the Fall Photos you can find them on Peter's Picture Pages. Enjoy! --MGM.


Posted 10.25.14 -- By MGM

PXL Keeps Rolling Along! PXL Keeps Rolling Along!

On behalf of the chapter, our Humbug thanks all who came up to Havilah and made our fall Doin's a success. We Clamped, we plaqued. I took a few pictures, and we even made new friends. It was most satisfactory! I'll have a complete report up in a few days, and I'm also working on getting the pictures into shape. The truth is that it takes time to decide which photos to post and which ones to use as blackmail, plus it takes even more time for the bag men to show up, so be patient.

Just consider what I have to contend with. For example, that's a picture of Fred "Flintstone" Fenski being handed a Benjamin by Joe Szot after Fred won the $100 Grand Raffle Prize. That's Yeti on the left, who's won in the past. Hole on the right, who's still waiting. And then there's Mangler, who's about to get his first taste of Photoshop. Like I sed, I've got work to do. --MGM.


Posted 10.16.14 -- By MGM

Join the Bean REBELLION!
Flatulence with Balance! Flatulence with Balance!

We've gone and dunnit, and you can too! We're headed up to Havilah for our 2014 Fall Doin's. Our electronic sign-up is now closed, so if you'd still like to join us bring your hiney and your dust up to the Bald Eagle Ranch where the weather should be most satisfactory. We're expecting daytime highs in the low 70's and nighttime lows in the high 40's. We're Clamping in the mountains so bring your warm stuff.

In case of emergency, your widder can call Wes or Janet at the Bald Eagle ranch house by dialing 760-379-2636. For more details keep reading down into the CLOG and check out our Fall Doin's Page for a downloadable flyer and for a Google interactive map. Sorry, camp fires and container fires will not be allowed due to extremely dry conditions, otherwise the flyer is accurate. See you there! --MGM.


Posted 10.11.14 -- By MGM

Long May it wave!

The early prepay discount window is now closed! But you are still welcome to sign-up by mail or by going to the Fall Doin's Registration Page. We'll even let you sign-up at the door if you have no place else to go. See you in Havilah on Friday. Continue reading down the CLOG for additional information. Early arrivals are welcome from Thursday morning. Regretfully due to extremely dry conditions burn barrels and fire pits will not be allowed. So you can leave the firewood at home. -MGM


Posted 10.09.14 (Amended 10.10.14) -- By MGM

Dickhead Semi-farewell Tour!

Greetings Cloggites! Here's a quick update on our Fall Doin's. Due to circumstances beyond Charles' control, I've extended the Prepay discount window until tomorrow evening, Friday, October 10, 2014. But that's it! Consider it my part in the ongoing Bean Rebellion of 6019. After that, don't say I didn't warn you. There's no Food Maxx, Winco, or 7-11 in the mountains near Havilah, so please let us know you're coming. If you can't we won't hate you for it, but sharp sticks will be available to all who need to join the snipe hunt on Friday Night after the CLONG SHOW.

The weather for our weekend is looking trés magnifique, with daytime highs in the low 70's and nighttime lows hovering around 50 degrees, but don't get too cocky about that. While rain just isn't going to happen, it can get nippy in the mountains, so pack accordingly.

Unfortunately, by order of the Fire Marshall, no open fires or burn barrels will be allowed on this outing. Sorry for the inconvenience but it hasn't rained in this area for months and we don't want to be remembered as the Adam Henrys who burned the place down. If you want to keep warm, bring a dog.

Speaking of the CLONG SHOW. This time we'll be roasting our Brother Dickhead who says he's headed to Nevada to c*p*late with the jack rabbits. While there is little reason to believe we won't see him again, this is still your chance to express your appreciation for all he's done for the chapter by showing him "what for."

For additional, up to date, information and to register, just go to our fall Doin's page. You'll find links to our flyer, electronic registration, Paypal portal, and PBC Handbook. And if you have a PBC, we encourage you to bring him along. This will be the last regular chance for him to get his ECV history lesson at the knee of our own Brother Gene "Dickhead" Duncker.

See you Friday at Bald Eagle Ranch. Set up begins at 10 a.m. headed by Ringmasters Fred "Flinstone" Fenski and Dave "Mr. Boulder" Staley, so please, join in and become a member of Petey's Flying Circus and earn an extra special commemorative badge. Early arrivals will be welcomed as of Thursday morning. Join our VNGH Jim Bailey on Thursday night for a Tri-tip potluck dinner. He'll provide the meat, you bring the sides. It's all Most Satisfactory! See you there.

Email MGM.

MGM, XNGH -- "Recording No Cyber Before Its Time."
...and remember to Love us on Facebook




Amended 09.28.14 -- Per Curium

Bald Eagle Clampsite.

Important News of the Charles! Our Humbug Charles Topping has decreed that due to circumstances beyond his control, he is moving the 2014 Peter Lebeck Fall Doin's to the Bald Eagle Ranch in Havilah. To help make up for the change early arrivals will be welcomed from Thursday morning, and our VNGH Jim Bailey has offered to host a BBQ Tri-Tip potluck. His meat. Your beans … or other accoutrements.

As usual, official set-up will begin on Friday morning and fooding starts in earnest with Friday night dinner followed by the evening's entertainment. We will be Clamping in a private meadow owned by XNGH Wes Kutzner and his Widder Janet in the mountains south of Lake Isabella. The plaque dedication will also be changed from Saturday morning to Sunday due to this change of location.

Last week the concessionaire operating the French Gulch Group Campground informed Charles that parking for campers and trailers would not be allowed on the campsite's perimeter road due to fire issues, and overnight parking on the adjacent parking lot would not be available. As a result French Gulch is no longer a suitable location for our fall doin's so Charles had to pull the plug. The forest service has also refused to loan us the flush toilets and the lake for use at our Havilah Clampsite, but we have successfully Clamped at Bald Eagle before.

Charles invites you to Bald Eagle Ranch.

The Humbug so decrees and guarantees, and he will apologize for any inconvenience -- just as soon as we unstrap him from the waterboard. While we may no longer have a lake in which to swim and fish, given the substantial puddle left behind by our Humbug, mud baths will be available upon request!

Click here to download the revised flyer which includes directions. Refresh the page if the flyer doesn't say "Bald Eagle Ranch." As you'll see, the main difference is that we are moving from the lake to the mountains. Our planned activities remain the same. The Bald Eagle Ranch is just off the Caliente Bodfish Road. The entrance is at a bend in the road 7.3 miles south Highway 178, or 1.9 miles north of the Havilah Courthouse, depending on your direction of travel.

You can still use the electronic sign-up and Paypal portal on our Fall Doin's Page to register. Changes to our webpages will be posted shortly so check back soon. The map on the left should also help you out. If you have already sent in your rub, and would like to cancel your reservation, contact Charles at and we will arrange for a full refund, but we do hope you'll stick with us for this one. Same Clampout, different place, same fun.


As Amended - 09.21.14 -- By MGM

French Gulch Campsite Overview.

Hello Fellow Cloggites. This is one of those "bad news, good news" posts, but in the end everything is copecetic and we've come out very much ahead! Last Sunday Morning, our Humbug, Charles Topping, received a call from the forest service cancelling our reservation at Tillie Creek due to problems with a faulty water main which won't be fixed until April. That actually turned into be a good thing because by Monday afternoon Charles was able to rent the entire French Gulch group campsite just a bit down the road. So French Gulch, here we come!

In fact French Gulch is a much better fit and a much better facility than Tillie Creek. We'll have the whole place to ourselves with amenities that include a covered pavilion, running water, flush toilets and a location almost right on the lake. And for those of you who love trees, they'll be plenty of those for you to hug. The only downside is that the capacity is limited to 100 Clampers. So if you are planning to attend, just make sure to get your application in pronto for the weekend of October 17th. And don't forget, the prepay discount ends October 7th so get your rub in soon!

Other than that, things should be pretty much the same. French Gulch is right off of Highway 155 just like Tillie Creek. It's just a bit closer to the town of Isabella and a bit farther from Kernville, but not so far as to interfere with Saturday's dedication at the Ardis Walker House or any of our other plans for Friday Night or Saturday. Check out the little map embedded at the end of this post for a good thumbnail sketch. I've spent the last few days revising the directions and other information on our website, including our registraion pages and the Infallible Fillable Flyer, so make sure to click over to the 2014 Fall Doin's Page to get started because the last thing we want is for any of our Brothers to get lost trying to find us.

On a related subject, I've also had some well taken inquiries about "stuff" which I'd like to address here. Sometimes I forget that what's obvious to be me maybe isn't so obvious to others. And sometimes I just miss stuff, which is why I always encourage everyone to double check my work. So don't kvetch, read!


Now here's a few FAQs.

I am a PBC. Can I pay separately or does my sponsor have to do it for me?

PBCs are most welcome to send in their own rub, either by snail mail or by using our Paypal portal. Just make sure to let us know in writing who your sponsor is. If you're sending us a check, write the sponsor's name in the memo space. If you're using Paypal, do this: Go to our Fall Doin's Page and click on the Paypal button. You do not need to fill out the electronic application to use Paypal, but please include the name of your sponsor in the "special instructions" box so we can match up your paperwork with his. Either way, you will not get into the doin's unless you have paid AND have completed an application and waiver. All of those things can be submitted in person at the doin's but you must be there, with your sponsor, before the cut-off time for PBCs.

I'm a Redshirt. If I paid using Paypal why do I have to fill out an application?

Yes. I'm surprised you'd even ask that, Dumbillicus. The application is for the purpose of keeping accurate membership records including how to send you future doin's announcements and whom to call in case you end up in the hospital or are incapacitated. We're serious about this stuff. We always treat your information as private, but part of our job is to look out for both our spring chickens and our more senior members, and the last thing we want is a pullet surprise. We've even gone so far as to provide an electronic registration form and a fillable printable mail-in form -- for OUR convenience -- because no one can expect us to decipher chicken-scratched, beer-stained, application forms completed with 64-color crayon box leftovers and stubby number 3 pencils. If we can't read it you don't get in, capice, Bro'?

What's the tradition behind the "sick jackass" and what is it for?

The oldest tradition in E Clampus Vitus is the prohibition against collecting membership dues. In the Days of '49, Poor Blind Candidates didn't just lose the "scales of blindness" by surviving their initiations; they also had to "lubricate" the doin's at their own expense. But here was the deal -- once the Brothers let you in, you were in for good; no dues.

To preserve that tradition modern chapters do not collect dues but will often have a "sick jackass" fund to help with the expense of mailing doin's announcements. As in, "I couldn't make it up to the doin's 'cuz my jackass got sick so here are few bucks to help out." At PXL we build the cost of snail mail into the rub for our paid events, so if you attend our Spring or Fall Doin's or our Widders Ball, we keep you on our mailing list for two years. Paying into the Sick Jackass ensures that if you haven't been to one of our doin's for awhile we'll keep you on the active list just as if you had attended one of our paid functions. Sometimes guys will even send us a few bucks just for the sake of camaraderie. No lie.

I signed up using the electronic registration form, do I still have to send back the form I received in the mail?

Sure, and if you'd like to pay twice that would be great. Well, not really. The whole point to the electronic form is to replace the mail-in application where possible. The web based sign-up goes straight to our Recorder and, because it's always typed, it's always legible. After you fill out the form hit the "submit" button, just make sure that you receive an acknowledgment by email that we have your completed application. When you get to the doin's our damn Fool Door Keeper will have you review your submission. Just sign off, and you're good to go.

Kern River Area map.


And before I sign-off myself, I'd like to share a gem I found on the web. It's a site called Nature Alley, by Alison Sheehey, of Weldon, California. If you have an interest in nature beyond the "If I can eat it, maybe I can kill one" variety, you really ought to take a look at this fascinating site full of information about the flora and fauna in and around Kern County. If you are into birding, this is a very valuable resource, but there are also butterflies, bugs, fish, reptiles and amphibians; plants and trees; and useful links to nature resources throughout the San Joaquin Valley, Kern River area and Mojave Desert. As an avid photographer, Ali has illustrated her site with hundreds of photos of her subjects and divided them into many useful lists. She also has posted photos from her nature trips out and about. Definitely worth more than a look-see, and it's from years of work by a resident of the Kern River Valley. She also loaned us the cool map of the sites around Lake Isabella because she knows Clampers tend to get lost. (Actually I made that part up, but yeah. You guys do tend to get lost. It's part of our "Natural History.")

I'll be back soon. Until then, you know where to find me.

Email MGM.

MGM, XNGH -- "Recording No Cyber Before Its Time."
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Contact Info and Official ECV Chapter Website Links

For more information contact:

"Ptomaine Timbo" Gillespie, XXNGH (661) 993-7907 or

Mark "Scoop" Mutz, VNGH (661) 867-2808 or

Mark "Pokey" Crawford, Clampatriarch (661) 993-7907 or


Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or

Click on the Shield to go ECV's Official Chapter Websites.

Cyber Whang -- Official Clamper Chapter Websites on the Net
Don't worry, Pete.  You'll get him on points!

E Clampus Vitus, ECV and Clampers, are registered trade marks and used by permission of E Clampus Vitus, Inc. All rights are reserved.

  • Clog Closet Last Archived January 10, 2022
The Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus®