The Greybeards of PXL, in Communion with
Our Noble Grand Humbug Myrl "Doc" Wallace
Heartily Invite You to Our 57th Spring Doin's as
April, 12-15, 6023 (2018 C.E.)
The Brothers of your favorite Piss Poor Bear Wrassler, Peter Lebeck, are getting ready for our 57th Annual Spring Doin's, and you're invited! We're calling this one "Redshirts at the Fair!" Because we've been invited by the Fair, to the Fair, though they'll be no Fair. Got that? NO? Then check out our Fair Page, for a Fair explanation. Then head on up to the Kern County Fairgrounds for an extended weekend of major decompression in Bakersfield. After all it's only Fair, but sign-up by April 6th or you're likely to miss out! Check out the links below for everything you'll need to know, then convince yourself that this is one you really, really can't afford to miss. We may even save you a few bucks in the process. Your brothers will be waiting.--MGM
- Register by Mail or Over the Internet
- Weekend Event Schedule
- PBC Requirements and Handbook
- Rules for the Weekend
- Directions to the Kern County Fairgrounds
- About Clampin' at the Fairgrounds
- A Personal Invitation from Our Humbug
- Heck, Just Give Me the Flyer Already!
- The Fairgrounds Plaque
- Whom to Contact for More Information
Or click on the red arrow to continue.
Preregister and Save $15!
Brother, one of the best weekends to be had in all of Clamperdom can be yours for as little as $65, plus $75 for your PBC, but your dust must be in our hands one week ahead of our Fall Clampout to get this special rate. Use Paypal and we'll honor this price as late as Sunday, April 8th but snail mail applications must be postmarked no later than Friday, April 6th. After that it's $15 more, and we won't care if you're Sid, an XNGH or Joe Szot's dog made you pee on your Procs -- No exceptions!
Both your dust and an application form are required to secure our special rate. To register fill out and return our Infallible Fillable Flyer or use our handy electronic form below. We'll accept your dust by mail or Paypal. And remeber, regardless of how you sign-up, if your jackass gets sick, just call or email us at Registration@ECV1866.org before the start of the weekend, and our GDR will make sure you're comped for next time.
ECV Brothers who are on Active Military Duty who preregister by the prepay deadline get in free. Just mention it on your registration form and make sure to bring along with your military ID and a copy of your current orders.
All Chapter Hawkers are welcome to ply their goods. But be prepared to do some trading.
Sponsors should include a waiver form for each of their PBCs. Redshirts should include one for themselves if we don't already have one on file from a prior doin's. These waivers are an ECV wide policy imposed by Grand Council to help keep E Clampus Vitus in existence. Click here to read the waiver.
Are you a PBC paying separately from your Sponsor? No Problem! Just make sure to include your sponsor's name on the memo portion of your check or in the Paypal comment box. Postmark or Paypal by the deadline to get the early discount.
You can mail your application and rub to our Grand Noble Recorder at: Peter Lebeck #1866, c/o Mark "Pokey" Crawford, GNR, 18946 Beneda Lane #A106, Canyon Country, CA 91351, You can also Email your application to Registration@ECV1866.org, and use our Paypal Portal by clicking --><-- here.
KERN FAIRGROUNDS SCHEDULE OF EVENTS U SNOOZE U LOSE!
Thurs, April 12: Gates will be open at 1200 (12 noon). You're on your own for breakfast & lunch. We'll have a hot BBQ grill for your meat at dinner.
Fri, April 13: Gates will be open at 0700 (7:00 am) You're on your own for breakfast & lunch.
10:00 am & 4:31 pm: Early Check-In at our Early Check-in Table.
5:03 pm: HUMBUG'S Meet 'n' Greet at the PXL Tittie Bar. WOO-HOO!
6:03 pm: A special BBQ Rib and Chicken Dinner & Fixings prepared by Carlos “Spinner” Lemus and his crew.
8:07 pm: PBCs must present themselves to the Hangman for survival instruction by the NGH &VNGH at the Bar.
8:15 pm: Clamper Poetry, Redshirt Tales & Karaoke.
PBCs should get a good SOBER night's sleep. Saturday is going to be a loooong day.
Sat, April 14: A great day of Clamping with the Brothers...
5:31 am: All PBCs report to the cookshack for our XNGH breakfast preparation/bonding ritual.
8:03 am: Potluck breakfast - We provide the EGGS! You bring sausage, ham, potatoes, tortillas, salsa, bacon, etc. Our XNGH cook team will prepare a meal guaranteed to cleanse your colon.
9:01 am: - PBC & sponsor check-in at the cookshack. PBCs will be Clean & Sober -- NO EYE OPENERS! Sponsors will enforce compliance. From here on in, PBCs who drink anything alcoholic prior to the Hall of Comparative Ovations will be denied Entry!
9:06 am: Redshirt check-in at the Check In Table (No Grub-stub, no meals). No Kiddin'.
10:43 am: - Our Historian will impart an ECV History Lesson to our would-be Brethren – All Redshirts are welcome.
Noonish: Lunch at the cookshack.
2:33 pm: PBC interrogations, entertainment, bribes, presentations, tomfoolery, etc.
5:33 pm: Dinner- Steak à la “Airdale” or Chicken up-ur-ass, with Clamper beans & other savory vittles
7:15 pm: Necrology Ceremony (if needed) & Hall of Comparative Ovations (HOCO).
8:15 pm: Raffle and Fireside fun - stories, jokes, male bonding, pass the bottle and the usual BS.
Sun, April 15: The PXL dreaded "morning after."
7:00 am: A continental breakfast at the cook tent. Aspirin & Rolaids for those who survived.
8:09 am: Camp clean-up. Everybody helps, from XSNGH to XPBC!
10:06 am: Drive back to the real world. But do it SOBER!! Get ready for the Taxman --Taxes due on Tuesday!
The Brothers are reminded that all PBCs are guests of PXL, and PBC harassment is not allowed at any time by anyone other than our Hangman and his Vigilantes. PBCs are invited to meet and party with the Brothers on Friday, but from the time of their arrival PBCs will remain under the exclusive control and protection of our Hangman. No Exceptions!
Click on the red arrow to continue.
"OUR HANGMAN SEZ!" Special PBC Requirements
ALL SPONSORS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FOLLOWING:
All PBC's must check in with our Grand Imperturbable Hangman Scott "Curley" Gow upon entering the Clampsite. On Friday night at 8:07, all PBCs in camp must report to the cookshack for survival instructions from the Hangman and inspection by our Humbug and his Vice. Sorry, no Retreads this trip.
Any infirmities that might affect your PBC's ability to do moderately physical tasks MUST be disclosed to the Hangman. Vertigo, bad knees, bad ticker, claustrophobia, diabetes, all that stuff counts. No Exceptions! Failure to disclose could result in sheepskin denial and suspension of the PBC's sponsor.
Our initiation is not an endurance test! If you have a friend who wants to join PXL but has health issues we will figure out a way to get him through the initiation, but a failure to disclose a PBC's health problems endangers your PBC, it endangers us, and is not appreciated by anyone except those that want ECV® to go bye-bye.
ALL PBCs must have a bribe and a five minute historical presentation for our Board of Inquiry. Also PBCs may not wear RED until after completing their sacred ordeal. Finally, membership is open only to men 21 or older with good attitudes. These rules provide for the safety and fair treatment of your friend. As his sponsor it is your responsibility to make sure that he complies. Our initiation is a mind f**k. Do as you're told and no one gets hurt.
ALL PBCs ARE ADVISED:
That from the time of their arrival all PBCs are guests of the Brothers of Peter Lebeck, ECV and will be under the protection and control of our Hangman & his Vigilantes.
As is our custom at PXL, PBCs may fraternize with the Brethren on Friday but must show good attitude and submit to the directions of the Hangman from the time of their arrival, including being of service when so instructed by our Hangman.
All PBCs in Camp on Saturday Morning must report to the Cookshack as instructed for Kitchen Duty on pain of foregoing initiation. Last call for PBCs that did not join us on Friday is 8:03 a.m. Saturday morning. PBCs must be knowledgeable of all educational materials provided to them, especially the Handbook, be prepared to stand and deliver before our Board of Inquiry, and remain sober throughout the initiation. No Exceptions!
PXL adheres to all Grand Council Rules which will be strictly enforced. It will be a clean, but memorable initiation as befits our Honorable Order.
Click on the red arrow to continue.
These are the Rules--So Read 'em!
RULES FOR THE WEEKEND- read & follow them: We are the guests of the Kern County Fair. Make sure your diggin's are clean when you leave. Our reputation depends on it! DOGS will have to STAY HOME this trip! Sorry FIDO. Feel free to pee on your best friend when he gets back. Burn barrel will be allowed this trip so long as they are raised above the ground and kept off the lawn. Grass friendly propane heaters are also welcome.
DO BRING: Shade, raffle/auction prizes, water buckets, stuff for Saturday's potluck breakfast (but not eggs), libations for yourselves and your Brothers, good PBCs, ideas for PBC games, trash bags. Please bring personal hygiene items for the ladies and school supplies and toys for the kids at the women's shelter in Bakersfield.
DON'T BRING: Dogs (this trip), dope, firearms, explosives (including females), eggs, weaponry, anyone under 21, pissy PBCs or any of the usual No-Nos. Violation means expulsion without refund. So, don't risk it. This applies to EVERYONE!
ALL PBCs must have a bribe for the board and an historical presentation, as well as their dust. PBCs will submit to the authority of our Hangman upon entry to the Clampsite and remain under his control through the Hall of Comparative Ovations. There will be absolutely NO PBC Harassment on Friday Night, and "No Retread For 6023."
NOTE WELL: This chapter respect and adheres to the rules of the Board of Proctors of E Clampus Vitus®, Inc.
REMEMBER - The PXL bar has snacks, sodas, iced tea and water. Want more? Bring it yourself.
Click on the red arrow to get directions.
So You Want Directions?
From Bakersfield and all points North: Take Highway 99 South to the Ming Street exit. Exit at Ming and go EAST to "P" Street. Turn Left on "P" Street to reach the Kern County Fairgrounds, enter at Gate 26 and continue to the Midway. Follow the signs to the Clampsite. We'll be in the RV area behind the Grandstand.
From Mojave - LA and all points South: Take I-5 North to Highway 99 to the Ming Street exit. Exit at Ming and go EAST to "P" Street. Turn Left on "P" Street to reach the Kern County Fairgrounds, enter at Gate 26 and continue to the Midway. Follow the signs to the Clampsite. We'll be in the RV area behind the Grandstand.
KERN COUNTY FAIR, 1142 South "P" Steet, Bakersfield, CA 93307
GPS Coordinates for the Kern County Fair: 35° 23' 36.7008" N, 119° 2' 37.4352" W
Click on the Map's Links to Go Large and for Google Directions
For more information contact:
Al "The Quack" Price, NGH (661) 867-2414 or firstname.lastname@example.org
Mark "Pokey" Crawford, VNGH (661) 993-7907 or Crawford562@Yahoo.com
Myrl "Doc" Wallace, Clampatriarch (805) 937-0156 or BigWallace@comcast.net
Mike "MGM" Ramirez-Mares, Cyberrecorder (818) 517-8781 or Cyberrecorder@ECV1866.org